Page 3 | Gutted

maisieandvicks · 2022-08-05T04:03:50+00:00

My 3 year old cut off her hair yesterday. I’m still sat here in the kitchen with my coffee thinking about it now. She had lovely, curly hair down her back. Until she got hold of a pair of scissors she had been using to cut up paper and make shapes all day. I was in the kitchen washing up and didn’t realise she had them, I thought I’d taken them off of her before I came into the kitchen. Can’t have been any longer than 5 minutes later (because I always pop my head around the door to check she is okay) and she had cut off about 4 inches of her hair. I didn’t shout at her, but I did literally break down in tears, I was so upset and still am. She had the most beautiful hair 😢 AIBU to think that her hair won’t grow back the same? Or am I just being stupid and need to get a grip? I need some sense talked into me, I don’t care how blunt, give it to me please because I feel like such a useless mother at this point. Thanks.

ginswinger · 05/08/2022 08:56

Same happened here, twice. You can see it iun the progression on the school photos where my DD has long plaits, then a sudden bob!

Original poster

maisieandvicks · 05/08/2022 09:41

Begoniasforever · 05/08/2022 07:57

Op are you seeking help for your anxiety? Did you cry in front of your child?

hair grows in kids at half an inch a month on average, it’s really not a big deal. What is a big deal though is she was completely alone with scissors at that age and also your mental health, which I think you need support with now.

Thank you for your reply and your suggestions regarding my anxiety. I couldn’t agree more with you.

No, no I didn’t cry in front of her, thank God! Lol. I went to the toilet and cried 😄

All in all, she’s actually very happy with it and feels like she’s accomplished something lol. So I can’t complain in that regard.

Agreed, she shouldn’t have been left alone with the scissors but I was literally feet away from her while I was washing up. The bit that I’m most upset with is that I assumed that because she had been cutting up paper all day and making stuff, I genuinely assumed that’s what she was doing.

My mistake entirely and I didn’t shout at her for it, I kind of laughed out of shock if that makes sense, cleared everything up, popped her in the bath and washed and conditioned her hair, and then did my best to cut it while it was wet and relatively straight.

I definitely need help with my MH issues which I am currently undergoing as I type this so, I suppose that’s all I can do.

All in all, I know that I need to get a bloody grip. It’s not her fault. It’s MY fault. End of.

Also, didn’t know that children’s hair grows at that rate. So thank you for this info.

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Original poster

maisieandvicks · 05/08/2022 09:42

chilliesandspices · 05/08/2022 07:28

Could be much worse, I gave myself a wonky fringe that sat about an inch above my eyes there was no way of fixing that.

😂😂

Thank you for sharing your story. This has put a smile on my face lol 😊

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maisieandvicks · 05/08/2022 09:45

SpiceRat · 05/08/2022 07:33

You’re putting so much emphasis and emotion into her hair. You really need to not pass this onto her. I have such fine thin hair and my entire life has been dominated by “not having nice hair” … she is so much more than a head of thick curls and I wish more women would see this! PP is right you’re setting her up for a lifetime of ridiculous beauty standards if you don’t control this

Thank you for your advice, deep down I know that you are right in that I am putting too much emphasis on her hair.

She watches me weighing myself at times and has jumped on the scales to weigh herself also. Definitely not a good thing in terms of her over-analysing things. I do not want her to become anxious/judgemental of herself as a person. Be it her weight or her appearance.

So yes, you are absolutely right.

Thank you for your advice 💐

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exnewwifeproblems · 05/08/2022 09:45

ginswinger · 05/08/2022 08:56

Same happened here, twice. You can see it iun the progression on the school photos where my DD has long plaits, then a sudden bob!

Yup. Sudden Bob here too 🤣🤣🤣

Original poster

maisieandvicks · 05/08/2022 09:47

sashh · 05/08/2022 07:39

It's one of those things lots of kids do.

My mum once cut up straws to make beads and had me threading them on to a string.

She went to make a cup of tea and when she came back I'd put one up my nose and ended up with a trip to the hospital to remove it.

It's hair, it grows.

Oh my gosh lol!

I think I have always been very hands-on and that is due to my anxiety, which I am finally getting help for.

I’m starting to learn that we should simply let children be children. It’s not fair to project my own insecurities and judgements upon her. She’s a child. She doesn’t need to feel any negativity in terms of her appearance.

I really appreciate all of your replies because it’s made me realise that the issue is not hers - it’s MINE!

Thank you so much 💐

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MrsMoastyToasty · 05/08/2022 09:48

It could be worse. My DS cut his hair so short on top of his head that he had to have the rest done with a shaver.
His reasoning when I asked why he'd done it. "I wanted hair like Daddy's ". (Daddy has a very large bald spot!)

Original poster

maisieandvicks · 05/08/2022 09:51

DiscoBadgers · 05/08/2022 07:44

If she truly has curly hair then it’ll grow back curly still, and will be all the better for a trim.

if it doesn’t grow back curly then you are one of the parents eulogising the wispy toddler rat tails that really need cutting anyhow, and in years to come you’ll look back at this and cringe at being PFB

Either way it’ll do her hair good, try not to fret over it!

Thank you so much for providing me with some much-needed perspective at this time. I appreciate it very much 💐

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maisieandvicks · 05/08/2022 09:52

MrsMoastyToasty · 05/08/2022 09:48

It could be worse. My DS cut his hair so short on top of his head that he had to have the rest done with a shaver.
His reasoning when I asked why he'd done it. "I wanted hair like Daddy's ". (Daddy has a very large bald spot!)

😂😂😂

Gosh, kids are something else, aren’t they?

Gotta love ‘em 😩

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maisieandvicks · 05/08/2022 09:54

@LunaAndHerMoonDragons I think if it grows back different you would have ended up with different hair at some stage anyway.

A few pp’s have said this now which has made me feel a lot better. Thank you.

I have to say that I did notice that the roots of her hair were a lot straighter than the ends. So this may have ended up happening after I took her for her first trim anyway.

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Thatiswild · 05/08/2022 09:56

I just wanted to say that you sound like such a lovely person, your replies are so kind and balanced and lots of us struggle with anxiety and would be upset by this for so many reasons, I know how much work goes into curly hair and so I totally get it.

I’m so glad your daughter is happy with her hair and well done for embracing it now you’ve seen her smile. I have a friend whose three daughters have long hair because “mummy likes us to have our hair long, she won’t let us cut it” and that made me really surprised. They’re all teens and were going along with it.

I also don’t think it’s a bad thing for children to see parents upset about things. As you say it wouldn’t have been appropriate in this situation and she didn’t see you upset but I think the view of not letting kids see our emotions in general is odd, given that they then can’t sometimes deal with their own if they think they have to hide their feelings.

Well done for seeking help with your anxiety, it was the best thing I ever did and from this thread you’ll see that most young kids have taken a chunk out of their hair at school, home or right in front of us - it takes seconds. They’re quick!

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maisieandvicks · 05/08/2022 09:57

figmaofmyimagination · 05/08/2022 07:54

It’s HAIR, of course it will grow back, it grows throughout our lives!

Lots of kids do it. Just be grateful she didn’t hurt herself and move on.

Thank you so much for your reply.

Yes, I am extremely grateful that she didn’t hurt herself with the scissors and only took to her hair 😄

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Original poster

maisieandvicks · 05/08/2022 09:59

Thatiswild · 05/08/2022 09:56

I just wanted to say that you sound like such a lovely person, your replies are so kind and balanced and lots of us struggle with anxiety and would be upset by this for so many reasons, I know how much work goes into curly hair and so I totally get it.

I’m so glad your daughter is happy with her hair and well done for embracing it now you’ve seen her smile. I have a friend whose three daughters have long hair because “mummy likes us to have our hair long, she won’t let us cut it” and that made me really surprised. They’re all teens and were going along with it.

I also don’t think it’s a bad thing for children to see parents upset about things. As you say it wouldn’t have been appropriate in this situation and she didn’t see you upset but I think the view of not letting kids see our emotions in general is odd, given that they then can’t sometimes deal with their own if they think they have to hide their feelings.

Well done for seeking help with your anxiety, it was the best thing I ever did and from this thread you’ll see that most young kids have taken a chunk out of their hair at school, home or right in front of us - it takes seconds. They’re quick!

Lol yes to everything you just said.

Honestly, it’s me that has an issue with it more than her.

And ultimately, as long as SHE is happy with it, what is my bloody problem?! 😄😩

Thank you for your reply 💐

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slashlover · 05/08/2022 10:18

I did this to myself when I was about 4 or 5, my mum used to spend ages washing, conditioning, drying, styling etc. and I couldn't be bothered with it so I cut it off. Could your DD be fed up with all the time having to maintain it?

I have to say that I did notice that the roots of her hair were a lot straighter than the ends. So this may have ended up happening after I took her for her first trim anyway.

Has you DD never even had a trim before?

spiderlight · 05/08/2022 10:23

My DS did this when he was 5, again with paper scissors. He had lovely long wavy surfer-type hair and his Year 1 teacher came to the classroom door one afternoon looking absolutely terrified, took a deep breath and said 'R told me that his hair had told him it wanted to be a little bit shorter....it's only the one side, though...' I think she thought I was going to freak out at her but the way she said it just made me laugh ny head off, and it was reasonably easy to hide until it grew back.

It wasn't as bad as the time my DH decided that he would helpfully give him a little trim while I was in hospital - the week he started Reception, of all times!! He basically gave him an asymmetric bob with about four inches' difference between the two sides, and I had to spend my first day out of hospital taking him to have it all cut short to put it right. We laugh about it now but I was gutted at the time! It grew back really fast though.

AbsoluteShambles · 05/08/2022 10:29

ChagSameachDoreen · 05/08/2022 06:31

I don't understand why you're so devastated? It's just hair.

Yeah, I’m not getting it either. And the concern over it growing back is baffling.

TalkingToMyselfAgain · 05/08/2022 10:32

maisieandvicks Sorry you didn't like my comment. It was factual, not nasty. I also have MH problems, but mine are well managed. Perhaps you need antidepressants?

hewouldwouldnthe · 05/08/2022 10:43

DS did it to the front of his head just before the school photo. So it's there to see for all eternity

mycatisannoying · 05/08/2022 10:45

It's a rite of passage, OP
Don't worry about it.

Derrymum123 · 05/08/2022 10:58

My daughter did the same just before a Christmas play. She was an elf for Santa. Cut herself a pixie type fringe. I came to watch the production and spent the whole 40 minutes fixated on her fringe. She swore blind it was like that beforehand.

Alongside her was her best friend, who by chance, had exactly the same new fringe style. Poor teacher was mortified, she had been busy getting the class ready for the production.

Tbh I think most children do this. Rite of passage in my book.
Grew back quickly.

BlueSuffragette · 05/08/2022 11:10

🤣 don't panic OP it will grow.
Most children do this.
Getting help for your anxiety will help.
As she's only 3 you've loads more interesting times ahead. Enjoy x

Marvellousmadness · 05/08/2022 11:18

Its hair
It'll grow back
Your only sad because society has told you girls need to have long hair.
Shell be as loveley with short hair.
And to cry over it? I get it. But at the same time : get a grip

Original poster

maisieandvicks · 05/08/2022 11:30

slashlover · 05/08/2022 10:18

I did this to myself when I was about 4 or 5, my mum used to spend ages washing, conditioning, drying, styling etc. and I couldn't be bothered with it so I cut it off. Could your DD be fed up with all the time having to maintain it?

I have to say that I did notice that the roots of her hair were a lot straighter than the ends. So this may have ended up happening after I took her for her first trim anyway.

Has you DD never even had a trim before?

Has you DD never even had a trim before?

Nope, she’s never had a trim or cut before.

Which is probably why I’m feeling like this 😩

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maisieandvicks · 05/08/2022 11:30

Marvellousmadness · 05/08/2022 11:18

Its hair
It'll grow back
Your only sad because society has told you girls need to have long hair.
Shell be as loveley with short hair.
And to cry over it? I get it. But at the same time : get a grip

Thank you! I sooo needed to hear this! x

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Original poster

maisieandvicks · 05/08/2022 11:31

BlueSuffragette · 05/08/2022 11:10

🤣 don't panic OP it will grow.
Most children do this.
Getting help for your anxiety will help.
As she's only 3 you've loads more interesting times ahead. Enjoy x

Thank you so much 💐

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