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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Gutted

93 replies

maisieandvicks · 05/08/2022 05:03

My 3 year old cut off her hair yesterday. I’m still sat here in the kitchen with my coffee thinking about it now.

She had lovely, curly hair down her back. Until she got hold of a pair of scissors she had been using to cut up paper and make shapes all day.

I was in the kitchen washing up and didn’t realise she had them, I thought I’d taken them off of her before I came into the kitchen.

Can’t have been any longer than 5 minutes later (because I always pop my head around the door to check she is okay) and she had cut off about 4 inches of her hair.

I didn’t shout at her, but I did literally break down in tears, I was so upset and still am.

She had the most beautiful hair 😢

AIBU to think that her hair won’t grow back the same? Or am I just being stupid and need to get a grip?

I need some sense talked into me, I don’t care how blunt, give it to me please because I feel like such a useless mother at this point.

Thanks.

OP posts:
statetrooperstacey · 05/08/2022 07:25

This is absolutely a rite of passage, they all bloody do it!
it will grow back , it will look lovely , will probably look curlier if it’s had a bit of weight taken off it.
strategic use of hair clips and a trip to the hairdresser if it looks ridiculous .
im guessing they were safety/ children’s scissors rather than sharp pointy kitchen ones so it’s unlikely she would have done herself any serious injury so don’t feel bad on that score. Have you taught her not to run with them and to carry them safely? That’s important, not much else is tho.
my dc have cut their hair, their siblings hair and shredded their pyjamas , also worked their way across the bottom of the airer🙄 I also used to work in a nursery and we had to have many an awkward conversation with parents when we handed over their scalped offspring, and this was done in front of us with hyper vigilance !! It will be funny soon.

TalkingToMyselfAgain · 05/08/2022 07:25

You broke down in tears over it? Her hair will grow back. Be thankful she hadn't injured herself or cut anything else in the house

chilliesandspices · 05/08/2022 07:28

Could be much worse, I gave myself a wonky fringe that sat about an inch above my eyes Grin there was no way of fixing that.

SpiceRat · 05/08/2022 07:33

You’re putting so much emphasis and emotion into her hair. You really need to not pass this onto her. I have such fine thin hair and my entire life has been dominated by “not having nice hair” … she is so much more than a head of thick curls and I wish more women would see this! PP is right you’re setting her up for a lifetime of ridiculous beauty standards if you don’t control this

sashh · 05/08/2022 07:39

It's one of those things lots of kids do.

My mum once cut up straws to make beads and had me threading them on to a string.

She went to make a cup of tea and when she came back I'd put one up my nose and ended up with a trip to the hospital to remove it.

It's hair, it grows.

DiscoBadgers · 05/08/2022 07:44

If she truly has curly hair then it’ll grow back curly still, and will be all the better for a trim.

if it doesn’t grow back curly then you are one of the parents eulogising the wispy toddler rat tails that really need cutting anyhow, and in years to come you’ll look back at this and cringe at being PFB Grin

Either way it’ll do her hair good, try not to fret over it!

LunaAndHerMoonDragons · 05/08/2022 07:46

2 of my DC have done this, not as much hair, but random chunks cut off near the roots. Several friends DC have chopped off various amounts of their hair. It's pretty common. One of mine had baby curls which grew back in straight, I was sad to see them go. They would have grown out eventually though. I think if it grows back different you would have ended up with different hair at some stage anyway.

Original poster
maisieandvicks · 05/08/2022 07:48

TalkingToMyselfAgain · 05/08/2022 07:25

You broke down in tears over it? Her hair will grow back. Be thankful she hadn't injured herself or cut anything else in the house

Yes I did break down in tears over it. Because I suffer from mental health issues. If you did some research you would find that those with MH tend to blow things out of proportion and/or react to some situations with intensity.

So for you to make small of the fact that I broke down in tears says a lot about you as a person. You sound lovely.

And no, they were children’s scissors so the the likelihood of her hurting herself was quite low. Not impossible, mind you. But very low.

Thank you for your input, nevertheless.

OP posts:
Original poster
maisieandvicks · 05/08/2022 07:49

Thanks to everyone for your kind and straightforward replies.

I will most certainly reply later once I’ve settled this one down with her breakfast and some activities …….

…..that DO NOT include scissors! 😄😩🤦‍♀️

OP posts:
Calmdown14 · 05/08/2022 07:51

Honestly it's the stuff like this that becomes the family legend.

If it doesn't grow back the same it's because her hair is changing as she grows.

If it's not curly again this would have happened when it grew it's next four inches anyway.

Be grateful she didn't cut off a fringe down to the hairline..... that look really takes time to grow out!

Fizzgigg · 05/08/2022 07:54

My then 6 year old DS got a hold of my husband's hair trimmer/razor and tried to trim his hair with it. It had no attachment on it so was effectively a blade 0 and he couldn't control it so he just shaved a stripe into the top of his head. I couldn't believe my eyes. My parents had just arrived from Ireland and it was 2 weeks before Christmas. We had to take him to the hairdresser who couldn't for anything except shave it all off, backb to a blade 1 all over. It was savage. Had to call headteacher from school to explain it too.

I could only laugh and be really annoyed at DH for leaving his trimmer out!

figmaofmyimagination · 05/08/2022 07:54

It’s HAIR, of course it will grow back, it grows throughout our lives!

Lots of kids do it. Just be grateful she didn’t hurt herself and move on.

Begoniasforever · 05/08/2022 07:57

Op are you seeking help for your anxiety? Did you cry in front of your child?

hair grows in kids at half an inch a month on average, it’s really not a big deal. What is a big deal though is she was completely alone with scissors at that age and also your mental health, which I think you need support with now.

IggyAce · 05/08/2022 07:59

Big hug. I did similar at the same age apart from I used baby nail scissors and did it early one morning in my room. My mum got an awful surprise the next morning and couldn’t look at me for days. My hair grew back but despite the hairdressers best efforts it did look shit for a bit.

sashh · 05/08/2022 07:59

TalkingToMyselfAgain · 05/08/2022 07:25

You broke down in tears over it? Her hair will grow back. Be thankful she hadn't injured herself or cut anything else in the house

Regardless of the OP's mental health lots of parents cry at lots of things to do with their children.

Do poll on who cried when their child first went to school, or tried their school uniform on, or cried when their daughter put a wedding dress on.

Most parents are emotionally linked to their children.

GnomeDePlume · 05/08/2022 08:08

DSIL was a hairdresser, she told us about a woman who brought her DD in to try and do something, anything, after the little girl had cut off one of her pigtails (she didnt want them!).

The little girl had cut off the pigtail on the head side rather than the other side of the bobble.

DSIL said that there was absolutely nothing left to work with! The little girl ended up with an all over very short cut to try to hide the near bald bit where the pigtail had been. Little girl was perfectly happy, mother was devastated.

So, it could be worse!

generalh · 05/08/2022 08:09

I did this myself but I was 9. My hair has never been longer than shoulder length since. In fact my hair is v v short now. I am 55 now and always remember the look on my mother's face!

MsSquiz · 05/08/2022 08:20

I had a full fringe that I cut an inverted v out of when I was in primary school. As it grew back we named it "the tuft" as we couldn't clip it back when I had all my hair tied back as it was too short!
There's even one school photo of me looking super angelic with my lovely almost bum length hair in a high pony tail (classic 90s, inc massive scrunchie!) and this stupid tuft of hair standing to attention from my forehead.

You've had a shock, she's ok & hair grows back

MysteriousMonkey · 05/08/2022 08:31

My daughter cut her hair at 5, right the the roots across the front and then random bits all over. It looked terrible 😂 honestly I was a bit upset but also it was so bad it was funny. It took a while but it grew back and you'd have never known it had been cut 😂

pimlicoanna · 05/08/2022 08:34

With stuff like this you just need to focus on the positive that she didn't cut or hurt herself with the scissors. If she had you'd be desperately wishing she'd only cut her hair.

User280905 · 05/08/2022 08:39

You've said a few times that she's really happy. Maybe she doesn't want long curly hair? It's hot, it's heavy, it gets in the way, it takes a while to wash and dry. Maybe she's telling you what kind of hairstyle she wants.

EnglishPearFreesia · 05/08/2022 08:41

You are not a useless mother. Your focusing on the wrong thing here. You are really more upset that her lovely long hair has gone? How about being glad that she's safe, no physical harm caused with scissors. Get a grip chick 😂😂

prepared101 · 05/08/2022 08:47

I did this when I was about 6. My mum still enjoys bringing the photos out

My DD did it when she was 3. About a month before our wedding Hmm

DD2 is 5 and hasn't given herself a trim yet but I'm ready for it!

gamerchick · 05/08/2022 08:48

It's a rite of passage personally. I've never met a kid who didn't do it. They can be sneaky.

Maybe she doesn't want long hair. I'd take her to get it evened out at the hairdressers.

amylou8 · 05/08/2022 08:50

My now 20 yo did this to her fringe at about the same age, god did it look awful. It will be one of the stories you laugh about together when she's older. Take her for a trim if it's wonky, and in a few months it will be back as good as new.

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