Quality is a dietary requirement

[AppelationStation]

I was recently with some extended family on a short holiday to one of their houses. One of the activities was a village fete type affair with a free/make a donation BBQ. We all planned to go as relatives are quite 'involved' in the village.

A fellow guest asked, ahead of the event, whether there would be salads and naice accompaniments to the BBQ, and if the meat was good quality and locally sourced. Another family member and I said "don't know about the meat but reckon its just a a burger and a bunch the thing". This is literally what was written on the flyer.

Enquiring relative was slightly aghast. 😳 The6 have

Oops!

...they also brought their own coffee maker, organic sourdough bread and organic wine to fellow relatives house (not as gifts). They are far more affluent than anyone else and have a weird obsession with food. I mean, I'd eat fancy shit all day long if I could afford it, but I wouldnt think it was odd/abhorrent that other people didn't.

Fancy relative suggested rhey would buy their ownocal, organic meat and ask organisers to put this on the BBQ. They then questioned whether the rest of us really knew what the norm was, and that the event would presumably cater for vegetarians with alternatives, therefore should also cater for their needs.

AIBU to think this is...extreme?

I pointed out that I'd been to a few similar things with DC and burger in a bunch was pretty standard and, yes, bringing your own 'quality' meat and asking them too cook if for you might not win you (or the persona related to you who actually lives in the village) any favours. I was told I was being cruel because they couldn't know this as have no DC after one failed IVF attempt. Not sure what the latter has to do with things to be honest. Pretty sure their future kids wouldn't be allowed down the local rec for a warm can of pop and a free hotdog of a weekend judging by said conversation!

For the record I was vegetarian for years because of poor farming standards and now eat meat out very occasionally, so I do understand the the argument for well produced meat. I also think there's a time and a place, and if you don't want ro eat it, don't (without making a fuss)?

I know fancy relative was hurt. I tried to be nice and explain tactfully what I meant. But...AIBU to think 'quality' is not a dietary requirement?

Gawd. Typos. Bunch is my phone autocorrecting bun, not a regional alternative to bap/balm etc!

I'm with you sorry OP - they sound weird inappropriate and pretentious

and that the event would presumably cater for vegetarians with alternatives

There's the solution if she doesn't want to eat meat of uncertain provenance - have the non-meat alternative.

Did your autocorrect turn barm into balm? I'm more worried about software that can't cope with British regional breads than your relative's peculiarities!
And 'bun' seems like a common word anyway, both sides of the pond.

Ah, but they wouldn't eat the meat alternative (a veggie burger) because that's ultraprocessed food!

Presumably they wouldn't want the bun either then (Im guessing massive packs of white supermarket rolls).
Clearly the only option is they take their own organic sourdough sandwich. If they don't want 'ultraprocessed' food, I'm surprised they'd want anything BBQ'd - charred meat is surely a no-no for a purist.

This is pretty much what they did. Except instead of sitting with us all on one of the picnic tables we'd commandeered in the marquee they set up their own tressle table next to the BBQ and made themselves a salad amd sliced up some sourdough. They also offered the kids some cucumber and hummus (stuff my kid eats but doesn't give a shit about) which the kids swiftly declined and carried on shoving burgers in and running around like nutters 🤷‍♀️ I'm pretty sure this was interpreted as ungrateful at best and, at worst, hurtful. Exhausting.

Wankers.

Well... yes and no.

I have my moments (e.g. hangovers!) where I'll smash down McDonalds but day to day, I'm pretty picky about the quality and provenance of my food.

I guess the difference is I don't make a big deal of it, friends and family probably wouldn't even know as I'd just quietly give the bbq a swerve and eat something else (or not at all) if it didn't appeal.

Really though? You'd hoover the occasional macdonalds but one white supermarket bread roll and one fairly standard burger would be so awful that you would skip a meal rather than eat one?

And at a big, rare family gathering where people are keen to host you?

That kind of seems more 'unhealthy' than just eating a little of whats on offer.

They sound like characters from a book or a sitcom

All power to them with their standards/principles but to be so incredibly rigid is silly snd in this case has caused bad feeling with their hosts

But i do see how these things can become an obsession and then hard to go off plan in occasion

I'd expect cheap burgers etc at such an event.
One if DDs wouldn't eat anything, so we would quietly give her her own food (burgers and hotdogs are just food she doesn't like!)... its likely to be stuff like sausage rolls or a ham & cheese wrap.

My Dad has Coeliac disease and again would just eat his own food.

I'm sure lots of people brought things like that. There were famies with crisps and bread and snacks. It was the 😱 disbelief and horror they expressed, setting up a table jet to the catering area and the idea of asking the guys doing the bbq to just "pop this bit of organic rib eye on" for them that made me feel...odd.

Was the person they visited heavily pregnant by any chance?

Hmm it’s unusual, but tbh I fully understand not wanting to eat slurry meat. As for drinking bad wine - what’s the point? We will often bring our own nice wine to parties etc so we don’t have to drink bloody Echo Falls rose!

Yes, I prefer not to eat cheap meat, so in less fancy places order the vegetarian option.

If they really can't eat what's on offer, either take their own (but not something that needs cooking) or eat at home.

No one was pregnant, to my knowledge. The meat actually was from the local butchers. Its a small, rural place off the beaten track so it's probably cheaper to do that than drive to a supermarket and there are no wholesalers. It was all quite middle class, wholesome and outdoorsy tbh (by my standards). Just not middle class, wholesome and outdoorsy enough it seems.

If you can afford organic wine, crack on. But at a huge family and friends gathering with plenty of wine on offer, declining a top up and sneaking off to get your own just seems a bit precious IMHO. There wasn't a rosé in sight.

YABU. More people need to be like them. Yes, I agree not everyone can because it can be a bit of an expense to purchase food eco-consciously by buying organic, local (low CO2 impact) food. But of those who can, we need more people caring about the planet as much as they care about money.

So I think you are wrong to make this post essentially mocking them for their green lifestyle. At least they are quietly committed to it, and not hypocrites like half of Extinction Rebellion who happily travel great distances to glue themselves to a train or throw environmentally poisonous paint everywhere then drink a few soy lattes in disposable cups plus an M&S meal deal and then leave their mounds of rubbish in the street when they travel back hundreds of miles after their entertaining day out.

I buy organic wines. It’s no more expensive than regular wine. But has added advantage of low or no sulphites which are in vast majority of nonorganic wine and causes headaches/stomach upset in many people. So I don’t blame them for declining wine that could literally make them feel physically ill.

the idea of asking the guys doing the bbq to just "pop this bit of organic rib eye on" for them that made me feel...odd.

Yes - that crosses the line of pernickertiness by making work for other people, to make something better just for yourself. If she'd donated a dozen or so good steaks so that the people doing the bbq and a few others on a first come first served basis could have had some that might have been better. Though probably still a nuisance - grilling in large quantity must be easier if it's all uniform items like burgers or sausages. ... Kebabs, she could have made up a tray full.

It sounds like it could be orthorexia

I'm not disagreeing with that. I don't eat meat at home because of exactly this. But it wasn't "quietly getting on with it", it was quite noisily and obviously getting on with it and it came across as rude. And I was deemed insulting because I suggested a preference for organic whole cuts of meat wasn't a dietary requirement in a similar category to vegetarianism or a gluten allergy.

I wouldn't call several long hall flights a year an eco lifestyle either.

There’s ethics and standards and there’s not being pretentious knobs. You take your own food for whatever reasons, fine, but you don’t make a big song and dance about it. It’s once, just unclench and you might have fun.
The bit with offering the kids hummus and cucumber sticks then being disappointed when they didn’t want it was quite funny though. Very Motherland.

But they're NOT "quietly committed to it" are they @Discovereads?

They are making an attention-seeking, embarrassing song & dance about it. Making it all about them, & even shoe-horning their failed IVF attempt into the emotional manipulation mix, as if that made any odds to what is provided at a village BBQ ... as a PP said, they're acting like characters in a sitcom. Funny on screen, pain in the arse in real life.