Quality is a dietary requirement

[AppelationStation]

I was recently with some extended family on a short holiday to one of their houses. One of the activities was a village fete type affair with a free/make a donation BBQ. We all planned to go as relatives are quite 'involved' in the village.

A fellow guest asked, ahead of the event, whether there would be salads and naice accompaniments to the BBQ, and if the meat was good quality and locally sourced. Another family member and I said "don't know about the meat but reckon its just a a burger and a bunch the thing". This is literally what was written on the flyer.

Enquiring relative was slightly aghast. 😳 The6 have

Well yes. There's rare and specific circumstances where I crave junk. On a normal day if I was at a fete and nothing appealed I'd happily wait til the next meal. How is that unhealthier than eating crap I don't feel like just to fit in with everyone else? Like I said, there wouldn't be a song and dance about it.

I think it is insulting to suggest that organic isn’t a dietary requirement similar to vegetarianism or indeed veganism. They are all dietary requirements based on ethics. And just as valid as each other. No, they’re not like dietary requirements based on medical conditions like intolerances or allergies, but that’s not where the bar is set for dietary requirements.

And as for the “long haul flights” jab, well the point of a green lifestyle is you do what you can. Hardly anyone can go 100% green. But mocking people for st least being 10%, or 80% green is stupid. If everyone on the planet went 50% green we’d not be having such a huge climate crisis, so every contribution counts and should be encouraged and celebrated, not mocked and denigrated.

Its utterly depressing to me to read your posts and others saying it’s socially unacceptable or rude to stick to the green principles you’ve adopted in your life. This is the exact opposite of what we need to fight climate change.

I don’t think they were. They quietly asked the OP questions as to what they could or could not do. The OP told them it was bring your own meat and sides, so they did that. I don’t think it’s a “song and dance” to say hey can I have the rib eye I paid for and brought with me to eat to the chefs on the BBQ. I think setting up their own table in a corner was being quiet about it….if they’d sat with the OP then she’d have complained they were rubbing their dishes in her face by pointedly setting them out next to her food.

I mean what is materially different about

Other “There were famies with crisps and bread and snacks” and your relatives with “sourdough bread, cucumbers and hummus”?

Both are attending the village BBQ, and both brought their own bread and snacks. You’re just mocking the ones who didn’t bring crisps in all honesty.

They're entitled to eat what they want, and I don't think asking for their stuff to be cooked is particularly out of order. Judging others choices and expecting them to cater for their premium lifestyle choices is not ok.

I bet they don't ever offer to put on a big family gathering for that very reason.

Yanbu - they sound like knobs and I'd have been embarrassed for them.

I mean what is materially different about
Other “There were famies with crisps and bread and snacks” and your relatives with “sourdough bread, cucumbers and hummus”?

Bringing your own stuff, whether it's macdonalds or wagyu beef, whatever - fine. Expecting a whole community event to cater for your particular food foibles - knobby.

But they did not expect the whole community to cater to them. They were simply asking the OP about the event and what it would be like prior to them all going. They were just trying to establish what they needed to bring or not bring, that’s all.

You're making some big assumptions about my own dietary choices. It wasn't a bring your own meat and sides thing. It was catered, by volunteers that are friends of the family, and the chance to stick a few quid in the tin for the local sports field. People brought drinks and whatever snacks they fancied, plus things to feed anyone not happy with what was on offer.

And they didn't quietly ask me about it, there was a very polite row with some later histrionics.

And they didn't sit with the other families, happily munching their own sides /alternatives like everyone else. They set up a tressel table next to the BBQ, away from everyone else, loudly offered the children cucumbers and humus and were hard done by and injured when no one took them up on their offer.

In fact I'd say they behaved in exactly the kind of way that gives people who quietly make conscientious choices a bad name.

It wasn't a bring your own meat and sides thing. It was catered, by volunteers that are friends of the family, and the chance to stick a few quid in the tin for the local sports field. People brought drinks and whatever snacks they fancied, plus things to feed anyone not happy with what was on offer.

I don’t get the distinction tbh? It’s not a bring your own, but you do bring your own drinks, snacks and anything you want that wasn’t on offer? Didn’t they do that? Brought their own drinks, snacks and meat as they weren’t happy with what was on offer? I fail to see what they’ve done wrong here.

And they didn't sit with the other families, happily munching their own sides /alternatives like everyone else. They set up a tressel table next to the BBQ, away from everyone else, loudly offered the children cucumbers and humus and were hard done by and injured when no one took them up on their offer.

So their real crime is being less social and sitting separately. Perhaps they felt uncomfortable sitting with you after the very polite row with some later histrionics when you told them their dietary requirements weren’t valid like say, vegetarianism. Which I do think was insulting and unfair. Yet they still offered to share their food, so why wouldn’t they feel further excluded and ostracised when no one took them up on their offer?

I get they don’t fit in with your lot, but you are coming across as really intolerant and judgemental

Nobody else brought meat for the BBQ. I think that's the distinction. It was provided, for free. And everyone else either ate it or didn't.

What if everyone brought their own meat, without being invited to, and expected to be the exception to the rule? What makes one person so different to everyone else? Having principles is great (and I widely support theirs) but there are times when you just have to muck in and except its not all about you.

Somebody uptrend mentioned orthorexia, and on reflection and in context I think that's very likely. So I feel a bit bad for not being kinder about it all (although I was very kind in person, less tolerant in my head!), but not because they are saving the world one organic steak at a time.

They're dicks and they're clearly not doing this to be 'green' but because they have a 'clean eating' thing going on and think that a supermarket burger will harm them. If they were committed to a green lifestyle they wouldn't be eating meat at all. They also objected to veggie burgers because they were 'processed' and wouldn't eat the bread rolls - this isn't an eco thing; it's a food thing. Of course people can only 'do what they can' but if they are happy to make an ecological exception for eating steak and going on multiple long haul flights every year, they could also make an exception for one non-local, non-organic burger and a bread roll from Costco on one day of their lives. This isn't about moral principle or green credentials, it's about their personal food preferences and it's not a 'dietary requirement'.

Fine to bring extra stuff if they wanted. But making a big deal out of it, telling the OP she didn't understand because she doesn't have children (seriously, wtaf?) and essentially telling the organisers of the event that the meat they have provided isn't good enough for them and asking for better meat to barbecued just for them, and setting up a separate table of their own, is twattish. They're doing this to make a point and they really need to have a bloody day off from it now and again.

They're complete bell ends.

So what if people brought their own meat instead of not eating the meat on offer? It doesn’t make a difference to the people putting on the BBQ at all imho whether a person brings meat or goes without. It’s not like either way there’s an extra burger or sausage going uneaten. And in many places it is the social norm to bring your own meat. So either approach should be acceptable in a diverse society.

Whats the point of saying it is acceptable for people to
People brought drinks and whatever snacks they fancied, plus things to feed anyone not happy with what was on offer..

But then say, the exception to this is if you’re not happy with the meat on offer, then you have to go without meat?
The social rule makes no sense! So why should anyone follow it?

If none of us followed social rules that don't personally make sense to us society would be even more fucked than it already is. But you do you.

@10HailMarys
If they were committed to a green lifestyle they wouldn't be eating meat at all.

Thats not true. Scientific opinion is divided on whether going completely meatless is actually better for the environment for many good reasons, one of which is you can’t sustainably grow crops without rotating fields such that one station is to use the field for livestock grazing as by doing so you naturally fertilise the land, which is much better for the planet than constantly having plant crops and chucking tons of artificial fertiliser (much of which is made from fossil fuels) on the land.

How do you know it would be “more fucked than it is already”? You don’t and to suggest people bringing their own meat to a BBQ (which is the social norm in many other societies) would “fuck” society up is ridiculous.

Oh God, time and a place, eh OP?!

For her own BBQ at home: obviously fine and appropriate.

For a community BBQ run by others: put up and shut up!

I have two groups of friends who I love dearly but when they do a bbq they buy those bulk buy frozen Iceland burgers and sausages. They are almost white in colour and made entirely of gristle. I literally can’t eat one. They also shrink to almost nothing when cooked.

so I always bring a pack of more quality burgers with us for me and kids to test and they have never minded. I just can’t eat that low quality of meat.

I agree with @Discovereads

It seems people have more of an issue with the type of food they brought (ie better food) than the fact they brought food at all.

Live and let live.

I don't eat cheap crap, tbh, but I wouldn't bring my own stuff to an event like that, I'd just eat before or after.