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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

For wanting hairdresser to stop talking

86 replies

Vaws · 03/08/2022 16:10

Feeling like a bit of a cow but spent 4 hours in the hairdressers this afternoon. I have two young kids, obviously they take a lot of time. So it’s one of the few chances I have to just sit and have a bit of peace.

I don’t mind a bit of chit chat at the start of the appointment but the whole four hours was just like a running commentary. What she was doing, why she was doing it, what did I normally do.

I did try to read my book but then she kept asking me what it was, was it any good, did I like reading, argghh.

AIBU to have just wanted to have quiet?

OP posts:
mumda · 03/08/2022 17:06

Always ask them their questions first.
Special occasion?
Going anywhere nice?
Been away this year?

Original poster
Vaws · 03/08/2022 17:10

It has never taken four hours before, and that will have been because of constant talk.

OP posts:
alwayscheery · 03/08/2022 17:11

A salon near me offers "silent appointments".
Perfect.
Earphones or a book are acceptable too.

Basilthymerosemary · 03/08/2022 17:13

girlfriend44 · 03/08/2022 16:13

yes just talk to people for gods sake its sociable. Who reads a book in the hairdressers.

I do. 🤣😂

melj1213 · 03/08/2022 17:13

I think YABU because the issue could have been easily sorted if you had used your words and just said you didn't want to chit chat at the start of the appointment. You chose not to say anything so its on you that the chit chat continued for hours.

A simple "I'm really not in the mood for a lot of chat today, I'd appreciate if I could just read my book and enjoy some quiet for a while if that's okay." has always worked for me

hangrylady · 03/08/2022 17:14

pliset · 03/08/2022 16:17

I've never been in a hairdressers more than an hour. What was she doing that took 4 hours?

4 hours is fairly standard if your having highlights

JenniferAllisonPhillipaSue · 03/08/2022 17:16

I've spoken little and often enough with my hairdresser for her to know that coming to an appointment is an escape for me from my autistic son; and therefore I like to zone out and just chill while I have the opportunity. Other than the very initial 'how are you', she leaves me in peace.

burnoutbabe · 03/08/2022 17:16

I used to mystery shop at RUSH and part of the things to check was "did they make 2 separate attempts at chat"

So a bit of polite chit chat is expected but not them nattering on for the entire time.

I do take a book and just move my head as requested.

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 03/08/2022 17:22

burnoutbabe · 03/08/2022 17:16

I used to mystery shop at RUSH and part of the things to check was "did they make 2 separate attempts at chat"

So a bit of polite chit chat is expected but not them nattering on for the entire time.

I do take a book and just move my head as requested.

That's interesting you used to mystery shop at RUSH! I've been to them a couple of times but found they were one of the worst salons I'd been to ever. Apart from one, where there was a good stylist/colourist, but when she left the next one was awful.

Blackberrybunnet · 03/08/2022 17:34

girlfriend44 · 03/08/2022 16:13

yes just talk to people for gods sake its sociable. Who reads a book in the hairdressers.

I always read a book in the hairdressers. been doing it for years. Told her at the start how much I loved the couple of hours' of peace .... sometimes I wear earbuds and listen to an audiobook.

Hugasauras · 03/08/2022 17:37

I read a book in the hairdressers all the time Confused and so do some of the other clients I've seen in at the same time. Others read magazines.

Maybe mention it at the start in a chatty way. 'Oh I love coming to get my hair done, four hours of getting to read a book in peace with no kids running around and asking a million questions!'

bumblingbovine49 · 03/08/2022 17:48

girlfriend44 · 03/08/2022 16:13

yes just talk to people for gods sake its sociable. Who reads a book in the hairdressers.

That really is a rubbish comment. I like visiting the hairdresser and generally really enjoy the chats we have but my appointments are about 1-2 hours. If I was there for 4 hours, I too would like 1-2 hours of that to be me reading in peace. 4 hours of chit chat is way too much

PlanBea · 03/08/2022 17:53

I went on a spa day once and was given a form to fill out about allergies, illnesses, what pressure you like your massage etc, then it also said do you prefer your therapist talking to you or for quiet, I thought that was a great way to do it and I ticked quiet 🤣

CookPassBabtridge · 03/08/2022 18:19

This is why I haven't been to the hairdresser since 2013! Can't be doing with the fake smalltalk. I love getting my nails done as there is a language barrier! 😂 So peaceful. I'm not antisocial, have a very chatty job but I want peace for pampering activities.

BlueG4 · 03/08/2022 18:24

Furrydogmum · 03/08/2022 16:19

Years ago I booked into a new hairdressers and was placed with a deaf hairdresser, he was perfect for me as I like to relax when having my hair done - was gutted when he moved away!! I rarely get my haircut as I hate the salon chatter!

I'm really curious as to how you explained what you wanted done, was he a really good lip reader?

I ask because I have plenty of trouble explaining what I want in spoken English, as hairdresser technical terms and my terms are different.

(I'm always struggling with hairdressers wanting to chat because I have hearing loss myself)

Furrydogmum · 03/08/2022 18:27

@BlueG4 I probably told them when booking what I wanted and then yes, I'd kind of gesture and say what I wanted when he was watching me in the mirror - nobody has ever straightened my hair as well as he did!! 🙁

UserError012345 · 03/08/2022 18:30

YANBU. Next time, go in & say that you've been really looking forward to coming in & mainly for the peace & quiet.

Hairdresser will probably love the chance to shut up too!

ChagSameachDoreen · 03/08/2022 18:37

Hairdresser chat is mortifying. I avoid hairdressers completely.

The only time I've set foot in one was to have a trial for my wedding hair. The salon chat was unbearable. I happened to mention that I was Jewish, and having Jewish wedding. The woman sat next to be started saying anti-Semitic stuff, the hairdresser told her to stop, and it was all a huge horror show.

Never again!

AMIAMIBU · 03/08/2022 18:42

girlfriend44 · 03/08/2022 16:13

yes just talk to people for gods sake its sociable. Who reads a book in the hairdressers.

I do!

AMIAMIBU · 03/08/2022 18:44

girlfriend44 · 03/08/2022 16:25

Besides, I was surrounded by people on their phones.

yes and thats exactly whats wrong with some people they would rather stare at their phones than talk to the person they are with. Says it all.

Yep, I pay to have my hair cut etc, not to chat. Not something I'd do at dinner with friends, but the hairdresser isn't someone I'm friends with or at dinner.

saraclara · 03/08/2022 18:47

Ive had a horrendous morning, so much noise and stress with the kids. Would it be alright if I just closed my eyes and zoned out/ read my book quietly? Sorry to be rude but I'm feeling it today"

I used to use a version of this when faced with over chatty hairdressers.

Then I found a hairdresser who was friendly and pleasant but whose level of interaction (or lack of) was perfect for me. I've followed her through several salon changes over the last 12 years or so, even though it now means I have to travel further than is ideal! It's worth it to be able to just chill while she's putting in a ton of foils.

AMBE123 · 03/08/2022 18:51

ChagSameachDoreen · 03/08/2022 18:37

Hairdresser chat is mortifying. I avoid hairdressers completely.

The only time I've set foot in one was to have a trial for my wedding hair. The salon chat was unbearable. I happened to mention that I was Jewish, and having Jewish wedding. The woman sat next to be started saying anti-Semitic stuff, the hairdresser told her to stop, and it was all a huge horror show.

Never again!

That is disgusting, and somehow even worse that it was in the lead up to your chuppah.

I once had a woman sat next to me who was cheerfully, casually and loudly telling her hairdresser about how some close relatives of hers were going to put their baby up for adoption. I wanted to give her a good talking to about how that was going to affect that baby for the rest of its life and how dare she be so cheerful and casual about it. (It's a very sensitive point as an adoptee myself). I settled for several glares and tuts instead.

Jules912 · 03/08/2022 18:52

My hairdresser exchanges pleasantries at the start then takes my lead on chatting. Perfect.

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 03/08/2022 18:53

Lavenderbythefrontdoor · 03/08/2022 16:17

I read a book in the hairdressers. had no idea it was uncommon. I'm also perfectly happy to attend my appointment and say something like "Ive had a horrendous morning, so much noise and stress with the kids. Would it be alright if I just closed my eyes and zoned out/ read my book quietly? Sorry to be rude but I'm feeling it today". In my experience, hairdressers are THRILLED to not have to make small talk with another customer!

Show quote history

I second this!

ithoughtisawapuddycat · 03/08/2022 18:59

I have a little chatter with my hairdresser but I then normally close my eyes for a couple of minutes and that's most of the chatter done.

Chatter is the reason I do my gel nails at home now. I couldn't be doing with over an hour of pointless chatter that annoys me and that I'm paying for. I now love sitting watching TV while doing my nails, much more relaxing and cheaper in the long run.

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