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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Nothing like a Stepford wife.

57 replies

wantslotsofbabies · 19/01/2008 16:35

The other day at the doctor's surgery, there was a really neat mum with a toddler and a tiny. She was so neat and tidy, children were sweet and well behaved and the little one was being fed a home made pot of something all nicely. Without gagging.
I took stock of my ill fitting clothes, ever expanding waistline, hair that has not seen a brush for weeks, wellies covered with hen poop, (we have been snowed in here)...I just wondered, how the hell do some folk manage to be so organised?

OP posts:
musicgirl · 28/02/2008 12:37

givemehope - your right you need money, and the first thing I did when I finished uni and got a well paying job was hire a cleaner and send my laundry out to be done. There is no virtue in doing those timeconsuming and boring jobs yourself, if you can afford it get someone else to do it.

moljam · 28/02/2008 12:43

i dont do organised.i had one one a few weeks ago than went really well-i was an organised mummy.by 4pm i gave up.im too lazy but im happy(ish)

carmenelectra · 28/02/2008 12:44

Iam realy organised. I do as much housework as i can possibly fit in during day and i get ready properly every day(hair and make up).

Dont have cleaner or ironer and wouldnt want one. My house isnt big enough to need one though, to be fair! Do virtually all the cooking. And i love being a domestic goddess. Wish i didnt have to work and then i would be even more organised! . Having said this though, i do nearly kill myself doing all this. Lol.

witchandchips · 28/02/2008 12:51

My conclusions from lots of (biased) research is that these sorts of super organised people with clean houses are very controlling when it comes to what their children are allowed to do. No coming downstairs and emptying the toy box onto the floor. No letting 3 year old cleaning out their own potty. No emptying of cupboards onto the floor. No turning of bedrooms into coral reefs with sharks.

musicgirl · 28/02/2008 12:51

carmenelectra - you're joking right? Are you seriously trying to tell me you enjoy housework? I can think of 50 other things including stabbing myself with safety pins that I would rather be doing.

But if you want to do it all then go for it. No one need ever know in rl that I'm not superwoman. They can just think that I'm a super organised domestic goddess

carmenelectra · 28/02/2008 13:11

No im not joking!

Well, i wouldnt actually say i enjoy it, but i like the satisfaction i feel when everything is all tidy and im all ready, ds 1 and 2 all ready etc.

I just cannot relax if everywhere is a mess. I have like a mental checklist of jobs to do each day and i feel all stressed if they are not done. I could not go out for the day and leave the house like a pigsty! It would be on my mind till i got back.

Today i have done most of my jobs. Ha ha. Made beds, washed up, cleaned bathroom. Vaccuumed and polished downstairs. Bit of washing/drying. washed and dried my hair, put make up on. Just made veg sausage casserole! Just gonna vac upstairs, iron a few bits and walk dog, go bank before pick ds1 up from school!

Could do more if got off here and stopped looking on mumsnet/searching for holidays!

musicgirl · 28/02/2008 13:36

I feel satisfied after having sex, eating chocolate and having my nails done, can't say I've ever felt satisfied after housework. I find it very frustrating as it is never ending and thankless. But I really enjoy coming home from work, walking into the house and finding it all clean and tidy. Housework fairies rock!!!

Janni · 28/02/2008 13:40

I share your fascination with people who look this way and whose children are always matching and immaculate. I just accept that that is never going to be me and get on with looking at them in benign wonderment.

pedilia · 28/02/2008 13:42

I organised, my life would be absolute chaous if I wasn't. I have 3DC's,3 horses,1 dog and 2 cats so I have to be.

Carmen- I am like you, I get stressed if the house is a mess and things are not organised. It just makes my life easier and I like a tidy house.

Live and let live I say!

Habbibu · 28/02/2008 13:46

Oh, God love her - poor woman goes to doctors with kids, perhaps having a great day/week, is lucky in that she's quite organised, causes no trouble, and then a load of grumpy MN harpies decides she must be NO FUN and a control freak! You're a load of old meanies...

Wasn't me, by the way. Am typing this with Nutella and coal dust on my fingers.

carmenelectra · 28/02/2008 14:01

musicgirl,

I get satisfaction from thoses things also. Especialy a glass of wine(or 6) or a Bacardi n coke!(but only after ive done my jobs!)

musicgirl · 28/02/2008 14:15

See Carmenelectra, I think that's where you and I differ, when it comes to sex, chocolate or getting my nails done, there's no job around the house that I would feel that is that important it couldn't wait. Or even better, couldn't find someone else to pay to do it for me

chocolatedot · 28/02/2008 14:47

Carmenelectra - a kindred spirit!. I too get immense satisfaction from having a clean and tidy house and am hugely organised. I would find it very stressful to be disorganised and not have everything sorted well ahead of time.

No doubt people will sneer at me but I used to have a very high powered job and I get the same personal satisfaction now from cooking for my family and having a well organised clean house as I did in the office.

I don't really get disorganised people, it seems to me that doing stuff at the last minute usually creates a lot of extra work / stress.

newmumofone · 28/02/2008 14:52

I have days when I'm perfectly happy to be Anthea Turner, but some days I just want to be the old me. The girl who used to go to work every day and whose idea of menu planning was flipping through a bunch of takeaway leaflets. The hitch is now that DH has had a taste of Perfect Housewife living, he assumes that this is the basic minimum standard. Who moved the goalposts?!

carmenelectra · 28/02/2008 22:01

Chocolate,

You sound like my twin sister

I hope i dont sound like a doormat, but i love doing 'housewifey ' things and looking after kids and dp. i do also have a good job though and work hard and i make an effort to always look nice, but i do like a clean a tidy house and everyone well cared for.

Im not the least bit mumsy though Musicgirl and i also get my nails done, apply my fake tan, sip a glass of wine. I suppose i try to be superwoman and do it all. So im always knackered

And, morning paper, my dentist recently said to me when i visited " You look very well, you dont even look like you have just had a baby!"

I was quite chuffed as he aint bad

Orinoco · 28/02/2008 22:09

Message withdrawn

carmenelectra · 28/02/2008 22:16

I have been known to set my alarm early just for the very purpose of getting myself and the house ready before going out!

musicgirl · 29/02/2008 11:00

I'm organised, well groomed etc I just don't try and do all the household chores myself. Therefore I'm not stressed or tired. I don't have to get up before 7am and my partner, stepson and I socialise a lot and do lots of activities.

If you want to do everything yourself and wear yourself into the ground go for it. But to the disorganised mums who want to be more organised but still have plenty of time for their kids and husbands, hire a cleaner and send the washing out to get done (if you can spare around 60 pounds a week).

I think if more mothers did this and stopped trying to be the perfect housewife they wouldn't be to stressed or tired to take care of themselves properly.

OverMyDeadBody · 29/02/2008 12:03

My mum has always been one of those super-organised people with a tidy house. She had six kids! Her friends where always asking her how she did it. The thing is, she thinks she is disorganised, and in her own way, she is, never knowing where her keys are etc., but overall she did hold it together well when we where all little. She cannot function in chaos and mess, which is why she has to keep on top of everything, precisely because she is so disorganised and scatty in her head, she says she has to be organised or she wouldn't cope.

I, on the other hand, am definately not organised, but I know how to fake it so people think I am! I've picked up strategies from her that I use when I have to.

My mum is great, when she comes over to babysit she does the washing up too

blueshoes · 29/02/2008 12:03

I am like carmen and choc, but I also follow musicgirl's tips for an Orderly Life.

So I outsource a lot of the cleaning and housework. Neither my house nor children can be described as immaculate (I have seen immaculate that they do not apply to mine).

But I will say that generally my house is tidy, our life and finances are well-organised and works with minimum stress, even though both dh and I work and both children go to nursery/school.

OverMyDeadBody · 29/02/2008 12:10

It's not hard to fake it really though, a little effort can go a long way to making you seem organised to outsiders! No one need see the messy cupboards stuffed with shit, or the huge ironing pile hidden away or the paperwork stuffed into drawers etc etc

carmenelectra · 29/02/2008 12:54

I could never imagine having a cleaner, just in the same way i wouldnt want a nanny. Would hate someone else doing my jobs for me! If i had a spare £60 i could spend it better. Maybe an extra holiday so i can truly relax.

As i said before though, i have no need for a cleaner in a house the size of ours. It would be very extravagant. Maybe if i lived in a massive house and i really couldnt keep on top of it then it would be different

madamez · 29/02/2008 12:57

People who look this immaculate are either rich enough to delegate the shitwork to someone else, or they are insane control freaks whose children will grow up to be poop-fetishits.

carmenelectra · 29/02/2008 13:04

Think i am a very slight control freak. We are not immacaulate tho, just well turned out. Groomed

NicMac · 29/02/2008 13:10

I can't go out without fluffing the sofa cushions - does that make me an insane control freak? I think I know the answer I have to be super organised with 3 children under 6 and a largely absentee husband who just comes home at the weekend. The house is very tidy, I even have a shower/blow dry hair before going on the school run but am sure I am not perfectly manicured. Personally, I think for my own sanity it is important to look half decent. Why are we all so judgemental of other mums? This isn't an accusation or criticism as I know I do it to.