to believe diamond shoes being too tight should be considered a real problem?

[LargeDeviation]

People who earn 6 or 7 or even 9 or 10 figure salaries can have problems too.

Yes, these people have a level of privilege not afforded to many, and money means they usually have more choices available to solve their problems. However gatekeeping and shutting them down by saying they are not real problems by comparing to the worst off in society (the homeless, refugees from war zones, etc) is not productive.

Yes, their problems may not the deepest in the world. Neither are those of people who argue with their neighbours over their kids being able to get back their ball from over the fence - but these threads don't get shut down saying 'think about those who can't afford a football'?

As a society, we seem to have lost the ability to consider things on their individual merits.

In any case, if my diamond shoes are too tight - then the right advice should be advised to find a reputable high-end cobbler together with a reputable high-end jeweller to repair them.

For the sake of completeness, I hereby declare that I don't actually own any diamond shoes.

My heart bleeds for them.

Money doesn’t buy health, love or happiness but it does buy choices which is more than most people have. You have more options to help yourself or others if you have wealth, however people with no money have the same problems but no way out.

I imagine that it brings different problems, particularly around trust and whether people are wanting to be close to you because they care about you or to use you.

I always think this when I see the royal family. I would not wish their life on my worst enemy. They're like zoo animals, bred in captivity.

Yes, rich people can have problems- it’s perfectly reasonable to complain about infertility, illness, bereavement, dodgy cleaner, plumber ripped you off, job stress, pot plant died or whatever. Most of those situations are improved by having money, but they’re still legitimate stresses.

What’s crass is complaining about having/managing your large amount of money (I don’t know what to do with this huge inheritance/pension pot/massive house it’s so stressful) or that your money doesn’t stretch to things most people can’t possibly afford (have you seen the cost of buying a Ferrari lately, my private jet broke down and I can’t afford to fix it…).

Perfectly put.

Even dating is harder when you don’t have money for babysitters or dates, and you have to use the free dating sites which are full of even more pricks than the paid sites. so while you can’t buy love, money might help you meet people!

If I had money I’d pay for a cleaner, so my weekends wouldn’t be spent cleaning, I’d have my garden done so I could enjoy sitting in it, I’d be able to afford to go out more with friends and potential dates instead of just a bloody walk again! I could have a holiday with my kids, could afford a tutor to help them with their school work, wouldn’t need them to work weekends as I could give them pocket money, I wouldn’t have the ever present threat of losing my home and the spectre of a future with no pension hanging over me.

I actually hope I die in my 60s because I know I’ll never be able to retire and I don’t want to spend my old age watching every penny while i spend the equity from my home to live on.

People with money may have problems, but most of mine would be improved if not resolved by having some money.

Even my previous relationship was so imbalanced because of money that I think my ex felt that he could behave however he liked because he paid for more than me. That power imbalance wouldn’t be a factor if I had money.

Read the room I think is the other pertinent saying

Surely “diamond shoes are too tight” is used to refer to non-problems caused by wealth (eg “We just can’t find enough time to spend in Verbier now we’ve got the place in Barbados” or whatever).

I don’t think anyone denies that rich people can have genuine and serious problems, such as illness, addiction, heartbreak, bereavement etc. But of course these are all easier to deal with if you’re not also worrying about money.

Boo fricking hoo.

We are in the process of trying to move house after an eviction. Landlord wants to sell.

We cannot find anywhere. We’ve been trying solidly for two months and we are now over staying our notice. The council are trying to help but I’m not holding out much hope.

Money would help big time here

Yanbu.

There are loads of problems money doesnt fix, and plenty where you might think it helps and it in fact doesnt.

I think where people are open that clearly their problem isnt in the "heat or eat" camp, it's perfectly acceptable to openly ask for advice and tips with non-essential problems.

Reality is while any such thread is full of bitter comments about the non essential nature of a diamond shoe, there's always those handy high end cobbler recommendations in there too on mumsnet and its exactly why such threads recur regularly. On mnet there are is a willing and knowledgeable pool of people happy to compare notes on cobbler jewellers, squillion pound private schools, estate agents in clapham and Wimbledon, norland nannies etc.

OP does it help to kill those walking blues?

This is satire, right?

Yabu. The phrase embodies the complaints that are none problems about having wealth such as complaining you had to stay in a second choice 5 star hotel in Aruba instead of the one directly next to the pool. No one has ever said wealthy people cannot complain about normal things.

No they are not like zoo animals, they have a choice to leave - people abdicate - and they get huge privilege. Any sympathy is misplaced. Their wealth is enormous, their status is enormous, their freedom is also enormous. Their affairs are covered up, their misdemeanours (and sometimes crimes) are covered up, their personal desires are pandered to.

So are you saying that anyone who is richer than you should just shut up about other problems they have?

Diamond shoes too tight isn't actually referencing a rich person with a genuine problem though. It's when the "problem" is actually just entitled behaviour manifesting itself as a whinge.

Eg

"Gosh, my soux chef is taking three months off unpaid to travel Europe. I'm not sure how our head chef will cope as we have weekly dinner parties. I'm so worn out at the thought of having to recruit someone to help us while she's off"

I dont think its right to lose empathy for someone based on their income/wealth level

I cringe when someone has that attitude.

Would still rather be miserable and wealthy

OP "In any case, if my diamond shoes are too tight - then the right advice should be advised to find a reputable high-end cobbler together with a reputable high-end jeweller to repair them."

yes. But surely you only ask for advice from people who also own diamond shoes?

i've got two friends to call tonight who are struggling with life with kids. I'm going to be sympathetic, not say "ha ha, I'm childfree and have no clue how you feel".

I would agree with Bellac here - rich or poor, first world or developing world, people having a tough time are struggling and sympathy shouldn’t depend on their income level. Would be like saying someone with a new baby and a nice husband and money in the bank has no right to feel depressed - it’s just not how it works sometimes….

This

No, not this. Zoo animals have no choice but to endure captivity, the Royals are free to leave their “prison” at any time, as Harry has done.

Harry has just moved to a different one.

I often see people in my job who do not feel they have the right to feel unhappy, anxious or have any kind of mood problem. It just adds a level of pressure. There are always people worse off than you, but that doesnt mean you dont get to have your feelings. I hate people being told they should not feel as they do because someone else has a worse life.

Harry had the chance to leave the 'zoo' altogether but then went selling interviews to Oprah and orancing about with James Corden.

"I want privacy but am having to work (i.e. sell myself to Netflix and whoever else will have me) because Daddy won't give me anymore money"

This is the epitome of diamond shoes being too tight.

*prancing

stupid phone