I'm going to have to change alot of details so this isn't outing.
Dsis is nearing on 40 along with her partner (not married). Dsis owns the house they live in. We as a family have never liked Dsis partner. I have never got a good feeling about him, he is the human embodiment of man child. He would never look after his own children when he was home, he would be plugged into some sort of device or gaming system. He hardly if ever contributes money wise to the bills whilst my Dsis would slave away with 3 jobs to keep everything going. Whenever we bring this up with Dsis she would always claim otherwise and defend him, why I don't know.
Anywas Dsis has had an alcohol problem for a while now and it's only getting worse. She is going out every weekend and bringing her drinking friends back to her house which I'm sure wakes the kids. She has become high disfunctional. Her house is a mess and is unclean. She says she has no money to do things but she manages to always has money to fund her nights out. The kids (last time I checked) sleep on really old Pillows with no bedding or covers. Dsis priorities are completely all over the place and self serving. If ever me or dm would try to get her to see reason about her drinking she goes into denial or shut down mode and says that she only drinks "once a week or only has a couple". It's gotten so bad that we are pretty sure she has been drunk at 12pm before. We also had to go around hers once when one of her 3 children called (dc must of been only 7 at the time) because she had collapsed on the floor from server alcohol poisoning. Me and dm rushed to her house to attend to her and dc. Dm refused to call an ambulance even though she clearly needed one. It was obvious why she didn't want services involved. This was a couple of years ago now. I know she isn't that bad at the moment and still gets up to her jobs but there is no saying when that may happen again.
But the worst thing of it all is Dsis and her partner argue all the time. Dsis can't stand him and allows him to sleep in her room whilst she sleeps in one of the kids rooms. Her children are 5 7 and 11. They aren't stupid and they know something is up. Dsis has been going off at nights and seeing other men which she has happily announced to us all. It all came to head when her partner suspected it and they had a nasty argument at 4 in the morning which woke the kids. Dsis has now said she has told her partner they are "over" but they do this all the time. Nothing has changed and he is still living there. I'm so so worried about the effects and damage this is all having on the children. SS where called on them once before for having a public display. Dm is reluctant to call SS again because of this. She is worried that the kids will be taken away. It's infuriating because I feel like all my family just Bury their heads in the sand about Dsis and the kids. I feel like dm is more worried about protecting Dsis rather than worrying about what is best for the children. No one is putting them first and god knows what goes on before closed doors. I know they have had physical fights and the children have said that they have witnessed daddy push mummy. I can't just sit by and do nothing. I've grown up with a messed up toxic childhood myself and I know how permanently damaging it is.
Dm said she will talk to Dsis again but I know she won't hear it and nothing will come from it all. So how long do we give her until enough is enough? I know in my heart SS should be called now but if I do that I risk my whole family never talking to me again. And then what if the kids get taken away and put into a home and it turns out worse for them. They aren't in any immediate danger. Dsis will never harm the kids neither would the partner. They get well and go out alot. They have family that love them. Its more their psychology welfare I'm worried about.