In thinking he should get up?

[prettylittlethingss]

I have a 10 month old who's been a bad sleeper his whole life. He's breastfed so I've never had a single night off. I'm exhausted. On a good night he wakes around 3/4 times a night- and it's usually more. When he was very little, his dad would get up with him early morning so I could sleep for an hour or 2 undisturbed. This soon stopped.

DP now says if the baby wakes up early then I have to get up and he has work. (Baby normally wakes around 7- so if he wakes up early it's 6am and DP has usually slept 11-6 so 7 hours unbroken sleep!)

I work evenings part time. So today, I've had about a few hours of broken sleep, the baby waking up wanting to play for an hour at 1am, then him waking up hourly until 6 when I got up with him. I now have all day looking after him, and then I have work 6pm-10:30pm.

AIBU that DP should have got up with the baby?

He needs to his fair share. At 10
months he should sleep through. No playing in the night! Introduce the bottle so husband has to participate in feeding and can’t make the excuse you have to as you are feeding. And you and husband take it in turns to get up with baby in night. You will get less broken sleep. He gets a sense of why sleep deprivation is used as a torture in most countries.

Not unreasonable at all! I remember those days when the children were babies and the nights seemed so long. It does change, it’s hurt getting through it until it does and your partner should be pulling his weight with getting up early as he’s unable to help in the night with the feeding.

Your dp absolutely should have got up. But look at the bigger picture, is it time to night wean / give more bottles etc? Waking up hourly with a 10mo and no end in sight will be the end of you...mental health / relationship, its not sustainable.

Sleeping through at ten months? I have 3 and none of them have slept through until way after 18 months unfortunately! My third was 3…which I’m sure is unusual.

I'm not interested in sleep training, and he refuses to feed to sleep via bottle. So I have to do the nights. It is still biologically normal for a baby to wake in the night at 10 months.

I just wish DP would do the early mornings.

When does your baby have his first nap ? Can you grab some more sleep then ? But yes 6am is not too early for your husband to get up and then be able to function at work.

At 10
months he should sleep through. No playing in the night!

There is no 'should be' - kids develop at their own pace. One of mine slept through from 6 weeks, another took 7 years. It was out of my control.

Introduce the bottle so husband has to participate in feeding and can’t make the excuse you have to as you are feeding.

This is the most ridiculous suggestion. You should not have to change your child from breast to formula so he can't have an excuse. He needs to actually just be responsible rather then a lazy arse who leaves his wife to do it. Nobody needs to change a babies milk to do that.

What happens re: feeding the baby when you're at work?
Are you waking in the night for breastfeeding?
Does DH do a proper bedtime routine?
When does dh get home, and who cooks?

There’s nothing to say a baby ‘should’ sleep through at ten months, comments like that aren’t helpful at all. Mine is the same age and he did sleep 7-7 for a week bit now he’s awake a couple of times in a night, and awake way too early, you can’t expect them to be consistent when they’re still so small.

that says, it’s bloody exhausting and he should have got up. You need to work out a fairer system. Like I said to DH, you absolutely can be tired at work, unless you’re a surgeon or an air traffic controller, most times you can have a coffee and get over yourself.

Have you name changed? I agree he should do early mornings but encouraging your baby to sleep would also help you. Does he agree about not sleep training?

YANBU he should be getting up at 6am at the very least. Ideally he would be doing at least one of the night wake ups too so you can sleep a bit.

To be fair it would take the pressure off if the baby would take a bottle, of expressed milk, it doesn’t have to be formula although there’s NOTHING WRONG WITH FORMULA FEEDING.

but at ten months thé baby might not take a bottle at all.

To be fair it would take the pressure off if the baby would take a bottle, of expressed milk, it doesn’t have to be formula although there’s NOTHING WRONG WITH FORMULA FEEDING.

What are you shouting at? I never said there was anything wrong with FF, I did it with all of my DC. I said there is something wrong with changing a babies milk so the father 'has no excuse'. What I did was prioritise the child over the pathetic man who cba getting out of bed. Maybe if you calm down a bit your comprehension will improve.

Alright , no need to be nasty. I know it’s early but Jesus, there’s a whole day to get through yet. I’m not shouting at you, I’m just making it clear there should be no stigma around formula feeding. A breastfed baby having the odd formula is hardly harmful of it gives OP more sleep is it.

Yeah he should get up. Mine never slept very well (multiple night wake ups) and she had dropped the night bottle at 6 months. If you have decided to continue breastfeeding then he needs to make sure he does as much as he can to give you as much sleep as possible given you are the one taking the big hit on this.

Alright , no need to be nasty. I know it’s early but Jesus, there’s a whole day to get through yet. I’m not shouting at you, I’m just making it clear there should be no stigma around formula feeding. A breastfed baby having the odd formula is hardly harmful of it gives OP more sleep is it.

I wasn't being nasty. You came along and shouted, yes shouted, at me for something I don't not even say. You took my comment and turned it into something it wasn't. And still you are talking about it not 'being harmful' on this post. I didn't say it was harmful. It may even be the right thing for OP, but it absolutely should not be done to force a father into parenting. For whatever reason you obviously feel defensive about FF, It was misguided in this case because you have completely misunderstood my first comment which has little to do with FF actually, and more to do with the fact that nobody should be changing how they feed their child so the other parent 'has no excuse'. The other parent should step up without manipulation.

At 10
months he should sleep through. No playing in the night! Introduce the bottle so husband has to participate in feeding and can’t make the excuse you have to as you are feeding.

LOL!! This it's so funny.

Have you breastfed a baby to 10 months? Genuine question.

Take a breath, @alnawire . It’s text written in capitals. There’s no shouting. Capitals can’t hurt you.

I didn't say they could 'hurt' me

I asked why the poster was shouting, that's not an unreasonable question. Using caps like that has long since been regarded as shouting btw.

Is it too late to try dream feeding? The bottle doesn’t have to be formula. I introduced bottles early with dd and then expressed breast milk to get her through the night.

She wasn't shouting at you and that was obvious.

She was making a deadpan, obvious comment for those who might suggest she was having a dig and formula feeders.

Calm down 🙄

She wasn't shouting at you and that was obvious.

It can't have been that obvious otherwise I would have known, surely?

You would think, wouldn't you?

Everyone else knew.

But I didn't. That poster took a comment I made to someone else and used caps to say, to me I assumed as they were replying to me; there's nothing wrong with FF. in caps. As far as I have always know caps is regarding as shouting. I took that post as it was written. I didn't see it as 'obviously' something else.

Yes, so you've said.