Infertility is ruining my life 😭

[ShareLove]

Hey , I appreaciate if you read it and give me some comfort !
I am 31 years of age , unexplained infertile issues ! I have battled with infertility for 6 years . I have had 6 pregnancy’s losses , all early at 6 weeks . 5 natural , 1 ivf .

i had recurrent losses so I though ivf would be good game changer but I had 1 round of ivf and got pregnant and lost it at the same time as my natural pregnancy’s ! I was broken ! I had extra drugs ect in ivf so I thought that this would help but no …

I just feel so damaged and broken , I don’t know what to do ! I have another ivf cycle coming up soon but I don’t know why that would be any different !

the only abnormal test result I had was my uterus (womb) is bicornuate ! Heart shaped ! But doctor said that this does not cause very early losses but can cause problems later in pregnancy ! But mine are so early so it can’t be this .
other bloods have been perfect from hormones to sperm samples . They don’t know what’s wrong ! They think it could be chromosome maybe but I had losses in my early 20’s so I wouldn’t expect bad eggs in my 20’s plus 6 in a row too , that would be extremely rare ! This is all I think about and I’m worried about my age too because maybe I’ll never have a baby !
what would you do ?
thanks !! Xxx ❤️

Have you read it starts with the egg?

Just cos it hasn't been mentioned before. I had 4 miscarriages, all early. Blood tests showed a MTHFR mutation meaning I don't process folic acid well. I was put in a regime including high dose folic acid (5mg). I also had clexane injections and intralipids, steroids and progesterone. But scientific evidence that that helps is sketchy to say the least. I asked to throw everything at my last cycle however and got twins.

@WimbyAce thank you for your message :) I am sure the councelling would help but I feel like I would start crying when I start going through my past and losses telling someone my story and it feels so overwhelming and embarrassing doing it face to face , it’s much easier for me to be anonymous and say it on mumsnet xx I feel like I’m a private person and I don’t want people to feel sorry for me in real life . Nobody knows about my past in my family or friends , only my partner so yes I’m keeping it all in to myself as I feel kind of broken and ashamed that my body doesn’t work like everyone else’s and I don’t want anyone to know because I feel like I’m less of a woman and I’m ashamed . X

@bloomety hey thank you and yes Iv read this book ❤️

have you had your FSH tested and AMH? I had low AMH, high FSH and took supplements including DHEA and had acupuncture, and this is what led me to conceive I think after 2 miscarriages.

@Sycamor hey thanks for your message ! I had blood thinning injection in ivf pregnancy + progesterone and aspirin and it didn’t work , but next time I’m doing steroids predionsole and progesterone only as my blood wasn’t sticky to need the blood thinnning injections but it was just thrown in last time but as I saw that it didn’t help last time , that’s why I won’t take it next time x

@bloomety hey yes Iv had my FSH and AMH tested and all was great for my age no problems there xx

I'm 36 yes old, PCO sufferer, FH of infertility, at 34 I had normal healthy birth and followed by a miscarriage at 4 weeks and now pregnant again at 7 weeks, I would say to keep trying, you are not old enough to take yourself out of the game. Lots of love and baby dust your way

I do understand though my journey was different. Didn't start trying to conceive until I was 33, and to cut a long story short, my eggs were ageing. Huge shock as I had an accidental pregnancy on the pill in my mid 20s. I got pregnant once from IUI but that turned out to be ectopic and I had to have emergency surgery.

It was all consuming to me too, and I felt less-than too - ashamed my body had let me down and not like a 'real' woman. IVF never worked though I had 4 tries - last one no follicles developed at all so I knew it was over. I did accept it eventually and kind of surfaced from my misery and obsession - other friends lost loved ones, a colleague died in an accident etc - and I realised there was more to life and other losses, which heled put things into perspective.

I'd advise you keep going until you feel you've reached the end of your journey (or maybe, have the child you desire, of course). It's important to feel you have done all you can. (I can't comment on the medical side as I'm very out of date.)

You will get through this, one way or another. X

What was your steroid dosage please, if you can remember @Snowwhite83?

I had 30. Mine were put down to a high nk killer cell count (due to undiagnosed autoimmune disease which was also diagnosed at the same time). After 3 months treatment with regular Meds and prednisolone I fell pregnant with DS. I paid for approx £3k worth of tests and they were all worth every penny.

I have a heart shaped womb and it was never a problem in my pregnancies so hopefully if one does carry to term it won't be affected.

It's really difficult op and I'm sorry you're going through this, I haven't rtft but have you had any referrals to a specialist to find out what may be causing the early losses for both you and your partner?

I hope in time it all works out and you get your much wanted baby, sending love

Not having a baby won’t ruin your life. I promise. And once you come to terms with that, it’s much easier to cope with the stress of IVF and other treatment.

Hey there. Just wanted to say sending lots and lots of support your way. I've felt the way you feel at times. Had six years and six cycles of IVF along with several operations for endometriosis. Regarding the steroids etc you mentioned.... towards the end of my treatment I had the only two positive pregnancy tests I've ever had (one was a chemical, one my now 9 month old) from cycles where our consultant did a final tweak - as well as blood thinners and steroids (dexamethasone) I had an immune suppressant called humira. Had not prior immunes testing done it was just on an assumption since has tried everything else. Had an injection of it prior to egg collection. Had PGT-A testing. Then had another injection prior to frozen transfer xxxx

I echo this.

I really would recommend counselling, OP. I've had a similar journey and, like a lot of women, my infertility was an obstacle that couldn't be overcome. I'm not saying you won't have the child you desperately want, BUT facing that option will make life that bit easier for you.

I went through a lot of therapy during and after my treatments, I'm so glad I did, as a part of me already explored what my life would look like without DC. And there were unexpected positives!

Being able to focus on the positives and what you do have is so important, you shouldn't go through life in your 30s thinking it's ruined. You can still feel fulfilled and happy.

Best of luck.

Could you PGTA test? Not the same situation but we couldn’t get pregnant at all for four years. Our first IVF cycle was a very early miscarriage at 6 weeks. After that we tested. The doctor said that it was most likely chromosomal.

I was 33 when we started trying so not as young as you but still much younger than you’d expect.

And wanted to say I’m so sorry for what you are going through. Infertility is isolating and heartbreaking. Listening to the IVFthis podcasts helped me. She talks about the emotions we go through in infertility. It helped me process everything. I truly hope you get your little miracle on your next cycle ❤️

Hi @ShareLove I was just reading through this thread and felt a little invested by the end… I was wondering how you are doing now? ❤️

I am so sorry for your losses. I had a number of miscarriages before I drew a line under it. I went for adoption, but that is a whole other thread in itself, I am not recommending it or saying avoid it, but it is an option.

But, the only thing I would say, is as much as I love my adopted son, and I do, life would be so much easier if we had decided not to adopt and had remained childless. I am not saying it would be better because I am sure I would have been filled with "what ifs" but it would have been more straightforward and we would have more disposable income.

I really hope you get what you want, your own birth child, but life without children doesn't mean your life is over.

I imagine this is devastating and taking over your life, I'm so sorry.

All I can think when reading your post is you are still very young, you have years left to hold your baby in your arms xx

Have you had exhaustive genetic testing? There are some genetic conditions (especially if the husband/partner is also a carrier of the problem gene) that work against the viability of the embryo and lead to early miscarriages.

This type of miscarriage occur when the blood type of mother is Rh negative, and the foetus blood type is Rh positive. Therefore, when there is a difference in the Rh factor between a mother and the foetus, the body of the mother recognizes the foetus as a foreign material and can cause a miscarriage, this happened to my cousin 3 times before a specialist picked it up and gave her the correct meds which enabled her body to carry the pregnancy. Has yours and your partners blood types been discussed?