Infertility is ruining my life 😭

[ShareLove]

Hey , I appreaciate if you read it and give me some comfort !
I am 31 years of age , unexplained infertile issues ! I have battled with infertility for 6 years . I have had 6 pregnancy’s losses , all early at 6 weeks . 5 natural , 1 ivf .

i had recurrent losses so I though ivf would be good game changer but I had 1 round of ivf and got pregnant and lost it at the same time as my natural pregnancy’s ! I was broken ! I had extra drugs ect in ivf so I thought that this would help but no …

I just feel so damaged and broken , I don’t know what to do ! I have another ivf cycle coming up soon but I don’t know why that would be any different !

the only abnormal test result I had was my uterus (womb) is bicornuate ! Heart shaped ! But doctor said that this does not cause very early losses but can cause problems later in pregnancy ! But mine are so early so it can’t be this .
other bloods have been perfect from hormones to sperm samples . They don’t know what’s wrong ! They think it could be chromosome maybe but I had losses in my early 20’s so I wouldn’t expect bad eggs in my 20’s plus 6 in a row too , that would be extremely rare ! This is all I think about and I’m worried about my age too because maybe I’ll never have a baby !
what would you do ?
thanks !! Xxx ❤️

@Scottishgirl85 hey thank you ! My next step is to try steroids with my next ivf cycle as I think it could be immune related ! My consultant is fine by giving me the steroids without having to do the expensive testing first , so I will try this and if it doesn’t work then I will look further into other things like hysteroscopy to find out if there is something wrong in my uterus . X

@Scottishgirl85 and no I haven’t been to specialist , I’m with nhs xx

Has anyone ever mentioned baby aspirin to you? There seems to be some huge successes with it. X

@WhichBitchIsWhich hey thank you so much ! I think you mean A septum :) my consultant tried to see it on the scan and said he doesn’t think I have this but cannot be 100% sure unless I have hysteroscopy with the camera directly in the womb to have a look but it’s 8-10 months waiting time for this procedure on nhs unfortunalty so I have to wait xx

@Snowwhite83 , thank you ! My consultant is giving me steroids predionsole for my next ivf cycle without having the expensive testing done , he agreed to give it a go so I’m exited to see if it works ! X

@GoT1904 hey thank you ! Yes I took aspirin in ivf pregnancy and it didn’t make a difference unfortunalty xx

Hey there. So sorry you've gone through this. It's rough and very scary. Hang on in there.... my situation isn't exactly the same as yours as after six cycles and 8 embryo transfers (one double) we didn't get pregnant at all ivf or natural... however on the 9th go it worked. And he's here and worth the wait xx
I have endometriosis and adenomyosis. The last two cycles we did PGTA/PGS testing to fine tune are chances plus I was 39 so needed to crack on. We also did immune treatment. Steroids (dexamethasone) and something called humira which is an immune suppressant (but pricey like ) but it worked. I started tested early for the last two transfers and it was that that revealed I was falling pregnant but within days my body was rejecting the embryo and the line would quickly fade before I should even have technically been testing. Hang on in there. You've still got time on your side and options to explore to get to the bottom of getting your little embryos to stick. Lots of love xx

I would seriously go private, for someone specifically to look at what is going on, your losses etc. hopefully it would cost not too bad, then you use that info gained privately to force the nhs to take action.

@flowergirl2020 aww thank you for your nice message ! These kind of messages keep me strong and going and I belive I’ll have success at the end of this ugly road , it’s so hard when you don’t know what is wrong so keep losing every pregnancy ! 🥺😔

Sending love to you. There’s little that can be said when you’re feeling so down about something so serious but know that places like this are full of women who will listen and give you a virtual squeeze.

i hope the steroids prove to be successful and you carry a healthy baby to term.

💕

Hi OP I'm so sorry for your losses. You sound like a perfect candidate for the CERM trial. Professor Quenby is running it, it's to diagnose and treat endometrisis (chronic inflammation of the womb lining, not to be confused with endometriosis). It's treated simply with antibiotics.

We were patients of Tommys Coventry under Professor Quenby after 3 years of infertility and 3 losses, and now have a 6 week old baby boy, she is an incredible doctor and her team are so supportive.

I wish you all the luck in the world

@ShareLove ahh your welcome lovely. It's a lonely road the fertility game. Tbh the transfer that worked I was robotic just going through the motions expecting the same disappointment as usual. Just pushing myself to carry on until couldn't afford to/or take anymore. Sometimes when you're at your lowest life can surprise you. Going private was there best thing I did. When I look back the cycles on the nhs to be blunt we're a waste of time and eggs. Drug protocol changed very little. Lots of things not investigated such as spotting in the 2ww (they just put me on Lubion instead of pessaries). Soon as I went private the investigations were more thorough. Root cause of spotting sorted out (was polyps), changes constantly made after negative results and tweaks made to protocol during cycles as needed. It just felt a lot more bespoke to my issues. Xx keep on going as long as you feel able... and look after yourself xxxxx

Sorry if I wasn't clear; we participated in the CERM trial and was diagnosed with endometrisis so had the treatment (as well as thyroxine and progesterone). Worth getting your thyroid tested too; it should be under 2.5 for fertility

Just wanted to say I second the person who posted about Prof Quenby. She's at the cutting edge of stuff - she did stuff on killer cells/immune in the past. She gets everywhere! She even cropped up when I was having my little boy as she's doing a study on inducing big babies early. She's defo worth a try to look into trials she's currently doing on immunes and inflammation of the uterine lining xx

After experiencing multiple early miscarriages I read up on what could be the possible causes and looked into the immune response. I paid privately at a clinic for the natural killer cells test and it found I had elevated NK cells in my body which was possibly the cause. I was prescribed prednisolone for the next pregnancy. Just took it for the first 12 weeks and then weaned myself off. Have 2 children now. Second one I didn’t need to take anything. Good luck with this journey. I started it in my late twenties and the miscarriages are heart breaking 💕

I'm a fellow wonky uterus owner (unicornuate here). It took years of trying to have our kids and we were very fortunate to dodge the bullet of IVF. I credit my first successful pregnancy with giving up all hope,, stopping actively TTC, sinking into a deep black depression and drinking copiously with that- I'm not even joking. I've had 5 pregnancies, two very early losses (around 5-6 weeks, one about 9 years ago and one last month) and three full term pregnancies.

Infertility is genuinely the shittiest thing I've ever dealt with and at times my life has been an insane soap opera of drama. I had an excellent infertility counsellor who I absolutely credit with saving my sanity and my life, my eldest has her name as a middle name because she was genuinely the best human I've ever met. Counselling isn't about accepting you may not have children, it's about coping strategies and a safe place to talk through the horror of it all. It dominates your life and counselling gives you that breathing space to deal with it all.

I hope you get some good news soon and please do consider counselling. As others, and yourself, have said the septum definitely can cause problems. In your boat I would call outpatients and pester for cancellations. Ring every week and ask if they have any cancellations. I also "skipped" part of the waiting list for further investigation by going private with a consultant I was under in NHS. Because I'd seen him privately I had a scan I was waiting for moved forward- I'd only gone asking for information about my tidgy womb. As an NHS worker I felt really bloody uncomfortable with that but I didn't realise that would be a "perk" of the appointment tbh! Might be worth seeing how private appointments work in your area.

Infertility is so hard as there are so many things that could be causing it but the same time also nothing at all, simply bad luck. I think this is what I struggled with as being a control freak I wanted answers but I never got any, just unexplained.
I used to go mad with googling, spent a fortune on various supplements, who knows if any of then actually did anything.
The one thing that helped me but isn't for everyone was acupuncture. I'm not saying it's a miracle cure and not going to guarantee you a perfect pregnancy but I did have acupuncture with both of my viable pregnancies. Whether it just helped my mood as the lady I had was amazing, more of a counsellor or whether it did help me physically I will never know but something to consider. If you do go down this route make sure you get someone that specialises in infertility. I did try reflexology at one point and the lady was clearly not trained in it with infertility so was hopeless!

Have you actually enquired as to how much a private appointment is? You'd be surprised how little it may be / what can be achieved for little cost. Tea and cake explains it well. Years ago I was dismissed by ds paed, but I payed privately a relatively small fee to see the paed I should've seen, privately, and then strangely enough my appointment to see him on the nhs miraculously appeared. It's a shame we need to pay, to play the game. But surely it's worth the cost to you?

@Teaandcakeordeath83 aww thank you for replying ! I’m sorry you have also been in this horrible Infertility road but so happy you got your happy ending at the end ❤️
about the councelling, I feel like what’s the point ? The counceller cannot make me have healthy pregnancy or do or say anything to make me be successful next time so I feel like what’s the point of talking to someone and wasting my time , it won’t change the outcome anyways . I don’t really want to see anyone or talk to anyone as I’m already feeling low and fed up 😔 but I know you’re right I should still try it one day xx

There are lots of further tests you can do OP. If you are with a fertility clinic they should advise you. It’s either an issue with the eggs, the sperm or the implantation and treatment will vary depending on which. Good luck - I’ve experienced infertility and understand the pain.

Counselling could help, not in the medical sense but if you are feeling stressed etc just to offload the burden really helps volumes I found. Like I say I found my acupuncturist to be my counsellor, would talk to her about literally everything from the infertility to problems at work and tensions with my partner. Definitely helped me with the mental load.

Hi again OP - I just read your update on steroids. I took these without testing at my first clinic and then when I was then tested at my next clinic I had low NK cells not high cells and so steroids would have made matters worse.

@showmethegin hey thanks you for your message ! X
I have heard about this trial and I did some reasearch about the endometris (inflammation in the womb ) and I found out what antibiotics they use , ( doxycycline) and I bought it myself online pharmacy and took it for the same amount of time as the trail in Coventry .
I don’t know if I had the endomitris but it was worth doing 2 weeks corse of antibiotics just incase I had it , and the immune side of things , mu consultant will put me on steroids next time without having testing done first xx

@GreyGoose1980 hey thank you for your message ! I am having the chromosomes testing done and just waiting for results now . And sperm test was fantastic no problems there, and implantation was also great as I had great lining ect when doing ivf xx and I will try the steroid next time and if it doesn’t work then I will go private to test for it to be sure if I need steroids, I’m willing to take a gamble to take steroids this time without testing hoping it’s what I need xx

Hi OP - no words of wisdom other than sending love your way, it’s all encompassing and the trenches of infertility are awful, I feel your pain. There’s a lot of good accounts on Instagram that offer help, cici_fertilityhand and robynbirkin to name a few Xxx