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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset my daughter has pink shoulders

50 replies

Arista3 · 01/08/2022 18:32

So she has been to my mums today and has pink shoulders from the sun, now I’m worried she will get skin cancer later in life.

OP posts:
BlanketsBanned · 01/08/2022 18:34

Have you spoken to your mum, did she put sunscreen on her, I would be annoyed too. How old is your dd.

TeenDivided · 01/08/2022 18:34

She's unlikely to get skin cancer from one day of pink shoulders.
Next time put some all day sunblock on her and make sure she has cover ups.

FlibbertyGiblets · 01/08/2022 18:34

Next time send her in an elbow or full length sleeve top. Job done.

Original poster
Arista3 · 01/08/2022 18:35

She’s 5

OP posts:
SexyLittleNosferatu · 01/08/2022 18:35

Have you considered that you're wildly overreacting?

Aquamarine1029 · 01/08/2022 18:36

You are overreacting. Hugely.

SherbertLemonDrop · 01/08/2022 18:37

Yabu. Take a deep breath, get a nice drink and breathe. Your daughter is not going to die.

Notsomumsy85 · 01/08/2022 18:39

A few years ago my daughter was sunburnt when out with my MIL I was internally livid as I always take such good care of their skin., but didn’t make a fuss as I knew she didn’t mean it, just left a bottle of our normal sunscreen at her house for future.

Fast forward to a few weeks ago where after a day at the beach and reapplying sunscreen all day both my daughters were badly sunburnt, I was angry at myself for letting it happen. But it’s just one of those things.

We all know that sun exposure can lead to skin diseases, but as a one off I think yabu to worry, make sure you take extra care in the future and remind your mum and daughter (if old enough) the importance of sunscreen. Sun exposure is just one of the risk factors and if we tried to hide from all the things that could possible lead to cancer we wouldn’t be living a life.

LIZS · 01/08/2022 18:40

It is done. However a one off is unlikely to cause future skin cancer. Many of us would have burnt in previous decades but have not had it. All you can do now is make her comfortable, use sunscreen and cover up to prevent further damage.

Obbydoo · 01/08/2022 18:42

SexyLittleNosferatu · 01/08/2022 18:35

Have you considered that you're wildly overreacting?

🤣🤣🤣

ClocksGoingBackwards · 01/08/2022 18:42

YANBU to be a bit upset, YABVU to dramatise it into potential skin cancer. She will be fine, and allowing anxiety and irrational thoughts to take over will make you miserable.

Use it as a lesson to help your dd learn why its so important to be careful with suncream and how easy it is to get burnt and then move on.

Sudocreme is really good for mild sunburn.

Onlyforcake · 01/08/2022 18:43

The risk is related to blistering and more than once I believe.

Onlyforcake · 01/08/2022 18:44

*increased

Milkand2sugarsplease · 01/08/2022 18:51

Are you generally so anxious about things..? If so, please talk to someone about it.

I don't know a single one of my friends that didn't end up with a touch of sunburn at some point growing up.

Your daughter will be absolutely fine. A bottle of suncream in her bag and a little cardi, or similar, along with a gentle prompt to your mum to use them and move on to the next thing on your list, not worth stressing too much over.

WonderingWanda · 01/08/2022 18:54

Take a deep breath and remember that while it's not ideal it was just the once. If your Mum is unreliable at putting suncream on then invest in some expensive all day long stuff and some loose fitting longer sleeved tops. There will be times your daughter gets burnt by accident or she eats some slightly burnt food, eats too much sugar etc. We can avoid some risk but not eliminate it.

WhereYouLeftIt · 01/08/2022 19:02

Arista3 · 01/08/2022 18:32

So she has been to my mums today and has pink shoulders from the sun, now I’m worried she will get skin cancer later in life.

You must know at some level that you're over-reacting. We all used to play in the sun all summer long turning pink and red and brown, and yet very few of us got skin cancer.

So what is this really about? Are you always this anxious? Is the anxiety sparked by incidents, or ever-present? Is it focussed on your daughter, your mother or yourself?

Kanaloa · 01/08/2022 19:06

I can see how it’s upsetting/annoying but it is a one off. You have learned from it and presumably will send her more covered/wearing sun cream next time. I think you need to think of it like how likely are you to get skin cancer later in life from one mild sunburn at age 5? I thought it was more repeated sun burns and tanning that led to skin cancer?

Kanaloa · 01/08/2022 19:06

Like how fatty food can cause health issues but one Burger King won’t give you a heart attack - so it seems a bit like heightened anxiety over a small mildly annoying issue.

DelphiniumBlue · 01/08/2022 19:13

Suncream won't be sufficient to protect a fair skinned child from the sun when the temperature is high. Best to make sure children are covered on the shoulders with a cotton shirt/dress. If I had children being looked after by someone else, I would dress them in something fairly covered up in the first place, so that if the carer is less vigilant than you might want, the child is still protected as far as possible. I had boys, easy for me as they always had a shirt or t shirt on. For girls with strappy tops it's more of an issue.
Hopefully she's pink and not red, and she is so unlikely to get skin cancer from one day in the sun.

Countyforever · 01/08/2022 19:14

Pfb ?

Stripedbag101 · 01/08/2022 19:18

Yes sun burn is dangerous in childhood. But in this instance It doesn’t sound like a particularly bad burn - but I get it that you would prefer it hadn’t happened.

there is a strong history of skin cancer in my family. I am particularly careful in the sun. This would annoy me - but it wouldn’t panic me.

take a deep breath - this was one incident. Make sure she has covered shoulders for the rest of the summer and make sure there is always factor 50 on hand.

she will be okay - but it’s okay to be worried about sun damage. Don’t let people here mock you.

Youdoyoutoday · 01/08/2022 19:20

Slather her up in P20 in future and then send her out, it's a tad pricey but i use it on the kids once in the morning and they've never burnt.

girlmom21 · 01/08/2022 19:23

Are you sure she's not just, you know, hot?

ladydimitrescu · 01/08/2022 19:24

She will be fine.

CatSeany · 01/08/2022 19:26

I would be annoyed, but I think you're being unreasonable to be worried about skin cancer because of one episode of very mild sunburn. Try not to catastrophise the situation.