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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Who's crazy, me or the landlady?

63 replies

AnxiousTenant · 31/07/2022 20:40

Not sure where to begin, sorry this will probably be a long post!

Returned to UK recently after living abroad for 6 years. Came back because my parents are very elderly (90s) and their health has been nosediving rapidly in recent months. I’m so glad I came back when I did, because over the past couple of weeks I’ve found myself frantically sorting out my dad’s admission to a care home (complex medical needs + dementia) and have just moved in with mum to help her work out next steps. Very difficult times.

Until yesterday, I was renting a place near mum and dad’s. Very nice 1-bedroom accommodation, clean, tidy, everything in order. Only snag: rottweiler and spaniel left alone in the garden all day, barking non stop. I work from home and this wasn’t much fun, but I got used to it.

I made the accommodation very cosy with pictures, curtains, rugs, fairy lights, cushions, etc. It completely transformed the place, so much that when the landlady came round one evening she was oooh-ing and aaah-ing over it and saying how she’d like to keep it that way when I left.

I asked if I could replace the tumble dryer with a dishwasher, and the landlady was kind enough to pay for the plumber to sort this out for the dishwasher I bought. The tumble dryer got taken away and instead, I used a Brabantia rotary washing line instead (which I bought from Amazon, spike sunk into the ground outside).

The furnishings provided by the landlady included a clunky standard lamp that I didn’t like and never used. One day I opened a door and it pushed against the lamp, which fell to the floor, breaking the plastic bit that the bulb screws into (sorry, not sure what this is called!). That weekend, I took it to a local electrical repair shop to get it fixed. The electrician examined it for about 30 seconds but was puzzled by the single wire protruding, and said he couldn’t help. Everyone since has told me it’s an easy fix, maybe a tenner, and that he confused the wiring to the bulb with the internal wiring of the lamp. However, I ran out of time to get this sorted out.

When I gave notice to my landlady, I mentioned the damage to the lamp. She said it was terribly precious to her, and had been very expensive. Apparently it would all be OK if I left her the curtains, rugs, washing line, pictures on the walls, etc by way of compensation. While going around, she sneered that the curtains in the hallway weren’t long enough. Like a mug (which I am), I found myself apologising and saying I’d lengthen them with fabric from the ones in the lounge, which were too long (I’d just selected the nearest lengths when ordering them online).

When we next crossed paths in the garden, a week or so later, by then we’d both spoken to various people who all agreed the electrician had been an idiot and the lamp should be easily fixed, maybe costing a tenner. I was relieved, as I am struggling a bit financially at the moment and the thought of having to replace all the nice things I’d invested in was rather stressful.

However, not wanting to let her down with the curtains, I ordered thread and sewing materials to be delivered during my final week (mine are all still at home abroad), then spent hours turning up curtains this week when I should have been packing (I was also working long hours and trying to fit in visits to my dying father, not wishing to sound dramatic but still!). I left the curtains, a rug, and the dishwasher, all of which I had bought brand new. As I left, I gave her husband (she was away) a note explaining that I was taking the rotary washing line for my mum, who has one that’s now falling apart (she’s had it over 30 years; I think her need is greater) but explaining that if they wanted one they could buy one for about £80 on Amazon. This family, let’s say, are not short of cash. I also enclosed £20 to cover the cost of repairing the lamp – her husband told me not to worry about it.

So, I just got a text from her:
Hi AnxiousTenant, just got back to check [your accommodation], our agreement was for you to leave the washing line, not £20. I will ask [the agency] to replace the lamp form your deposit, minus £20. Thanks [Landlady] xx”

I’m not sure how to reply. Sort of need this like a hole in the head right now.

This is my first experience of renting in about 40 years, and I have no idea what my rights are. The letting agency have a good relationship with her, but I’m a stranger to them. Feeling very anxious about this, as I have no idea what they might deduct from my deposit. It might be cheaper for me to just buy her another brand new Brabantia rotary clothes line, but she and her family are ostentatiously comfortable and I am a bit skint! I left the place absolutely spotless and have photos to prove it, but what happens next?!??!

AIBU?
You are NOT being unreasonable = Leaving the brand new dishwasher, curtains, and rug that you bought, and making the place spotless, and paying for the lamp repairs, should be enough to keep her satisfied.
You ARE being unreasonable = You should replace the lamp with a new one, however much it cost.

OP posts:
Mummyoflittledragon · 31/07/2022 22:52

I am a landlady. She saw you coming and people like this give us a bad name. This lamp was pretty old by the sound of it and £20 could well be more than the amount awarded at dispute and unless a decent antique, it will have been pretty worthless.

Items are depreciated over time. I rent unfurnished. But for example if a tenant burns a brand new carpet with an iron and moves out after say a year, I can claim about £30 for the burn (or possibly claim the cost of having it micro sheared), not a brand new carpet. If the carpet is about 7 years old, I would struggle to get anything as the carpet is seen as getting toward the end of its life.

The relationship she has with the agent is a red herring. Personally I would state you are returning to collect your things and ask for a time convenient. She has reneged on the agreement and you still have time to collect your things.

I realise you have a treat people how you’d like to be treated, which is lovely. However, this is a business relationship rather than a friendship and it would be great if you could protect yourself a little better.

The plumbing is not lost. She agreed to it. I have had the same sort of thing happen with tenants, who ask for something, I agree then they move out a couple of months later. It’s annoying if I didn’t really want to pay for something and have done so to keep the tenant happy. But that’s life, they have the right to move out at the end of the contract.

Mamai90 · 31/07/2022 23:10

AnxiousTenant · 31/07/2022 22:24

Thank you so much!

My husband normally protects me from this sort of thing, he loves and respects me and fights my corner. I miss him so much (he is still in our home abroad; I've put my life on hold for a while to take care of mum and dad).

My friends are scattered to the four corners, the nearest lives about 250 miles away!

You sound like a really loving caring daughter. I'm sorry that someone like this has taken advantage of your good nature.

The law is on your side. She might back down very quickly if you hit her with some of the information that some helpful posters have given above. Good luck. I hope you come back and update us with a happy outcome.

Incognitopest · 31/07/2022 23:13

No landlord keeps there expensive family heirlooms in a rental.

Was there an inventory when you moved in?

Check your deposit was lodged with a tenancy deposit scheme, I think there are 3 (have a google)

Or ask landlady which TDS she has used. If she hasn’t lodged it shes up shits creek

worriedatthistime · 31/07/2022 23:20

@bubblescoop but they agreed before with the landlord
Why are you being so nasty , its not professional of the landlady either

Hallamus · 31/07/2022 23:23

Landlords will almost always try to take the piss. Don't trust them or try to be nice.

Ask her for the details of your tenancy protection scheme. If she evades keep asking and say you'll have your solicitor ask. This is a legal requirement, she is at fault if she did not pay into it. If she did, they can mediate a dispute.

She is being unreasonable. Don't let her get away with it, she'll do it to someone else.

bubblescoop · 31/07/2022 23:26

worriedatthistime · 31/07/2022 23:20

@bubblescoop but they agreed before with the landlord
Why are you being so nasty , its not professional of the landlady either

Agreed what?

I’m not being nasty, I’m being matter of fact.

ChateauMargaux · 31/07/2022 23:34

Contact the agent, ask to go back to the flat to collect some things left behind. Take everything you can.. maybe not the dishwasher if it's too much hassle. It doesn't sound like there was a property inventory on entry or exit. Her relationship with the agent is irrelevant, if they are not following the law, you can report them.

WinterMusings · 31/07/2022 23:49

I know you don't 'want' to go back, but you need to.

collect every single thing that's yours!

disconnecting a dishwasher is easy & they're not terribly heavy, then sell it all on FB or if that's more hassle than you can face, donate whatever you don't want to keep to womens aid or something.

don't just leave it there for grabby bitch.

I wouldn't worry about the £20, that pays for the lamp require (easy job).

then apply to the scheme, for your deposit to be returned to you.it shouldn't be too difficult.

im not sure if you're for real or not. I think the zoflora detail was a step too far, but if you are, you're doing a good thing for your Mum but you need to be mindful of the impact on your marriage & if you're not, it doesn't matter, the thread will help someone.

HermioneKipper · 01/08/2022 00:02

Reading this has really upset me.

what a horrible woman.

i can’t believe she’s taken such advantage when you’re having a tough time.

hope karma gets her.

you’re lovely for looking after your parents

Lineala · 01/08/2022 00:05

Once an item is fitted in a property the tenant cannot remove it. The tenant in this scenario has no right to remove the dishwasher irrespective of who bought it. Hopefully the landlord won't charge to dispose of the other items you left.

You should receive your deposit back in full but you need to ask MyDeposits to release it to you.

wallpoppy · 01/08/2022 09:22

Lineala · 01/08/2022 00:05

Once an item is fitted in a property the tenant cannot remove it. The tenant in this scenario has no right to remove the dishwasher irrespective of who bought it. Hopefully the landlord won't charge to dispose of the other items you left.

You should receive your deposit back in full but you need to ask MyDeposits to release it to you.

that's absolutely not true LOL. Why do people just say any old bollocks on the internet.

You return the house or apartment to the state it was handed to you- if there were no white goods, no curtain rails, no carpets etc. when you moved in and you had to provide those, then you can take them with you when you leave, unless the landlord gave you money or rent off to buy those things and you have it in writing that there was a deal made to cover that.

AnxiousTenant · 01/08/2022 09:36

Thank you all very much for your input!

I ended up texting her pointing out the dishwasher and telling her not to be silly, and to my relieved amazement she accepted this and has wished me well.

So my storm in a teacup is over! and now of course I feel bad about having slagged her off. I think she's just used to things going her way, which I am not, and probably didn't even notice my spectacular cleaning efforts as she has someone in to do all that for her!

So all's well that ends well ☀🌺💗

OP posts:
MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 01/08/2022 09:47

If the lamp was precious and sentimental it wouldn't have been left in a dental property.

She's trying it on.

Take everything that belongs to you and have no more to do with her, just go through the agency or deposit scheme.

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