Feeling low after getting married ....aibu?

[wardrobevoo]

I got married two weeks ago.
We were together 11 months and got engaged and married 8 months later.
I've always had something to plan and now it feels like all the planning is over.
I don't know why I feel like this.
It's been a great 19 months
Met each other,engaged ,married etc

The last 8 months has been planning everything/dress/guests etc

Is this normal?

Plan a baby now?

Joking... you're obviously act on impulse that's why you're feeling down. You need to address that.

*you

Plan how you will get the most out of your relationship and marriage. Visualise what happiness looks like outside of massive “life event” stuff.

I would guess that you have spent months being caught up in the excitement of a new relationship, dating and then arranging your big day. Now you’re married and are experiencing the normal daily routine of life and it can be a bit of a downer because of the high speed nature of the last few months. I guess now it’s getting used to the normality of
marriage and planning what you do with your weekends etc! Congratulations on the marriage!

You might like to look up the definition of anti climax...

Don’t they say the secret to happiness is someone to love and something to look forward to? You’re probably just experiencing post wedding blues, similar to post holiday blues! Just start planning a new thing to look forward to. But it’s also ok to rest and enjoy the moment :)

I get this !
I cried on my honeymoon and didn’t know why, now I know it was post wedding blues. You’ve got all the attention and focus on this one day, lots of money being spent, then it’s over and life goes back to normal.
You need to plan something, holiday, house improvements.

I was relieved after my wedding but I hate big events that I have to plan like that.

It just sounds like you need a new project - get a hobby? Learn a new skill?

I think like you say because it was a big Event and something to look forward too
I sometimes wish we had a longer engagement

Given how quickly things have moved its not surprising. The whole time you've known each other you've either been in the exciting new relationship can't keep your hands off each other stage or caught up in the excitement of planning a wedding. You haven't really experienced "normal" day to day reality as a couple so it's bound to feel a bit flat.

I usually suggest a quiet honeymoon of a few days localish and then have a big holiday to look forward to some time later exactly for this reason.

Plan holiday, house restoration. Its normal to feel a bit flat after all the hype.

Totally normal! Time to plan so new adventures! Write a bucket list. I did. Set a goal for each year. Go one dates, plan a family if you want one, plan your next holiday, plan doing up your house or garden, find a new hobby alone or together! Plan something special for when your first anniversary rolls around, set yourself a new challenge like an evening course or working towards a new job or promotion. Always have something to look forward to. Congratulations on being a newly wed

Well, in the nicest possible way, you rushed into marriage so, as the others have said, you’ve jumped from the excitement of a new relationship to the excitement of a quick engagement to the excitement of a wedding in a very short space of time.
plan a honeymoon for six months time? Means you have something to look forward to for a bit.

Being married isn’t just about the big day. You’ve got your whole life to plan together- home, holidays, children etc. Its just the start of a big journey. Enjoy!

Sounds like you got married for the wrong reasons

Well, why did you want to get married? What were you planning to do with life next?

It’s normal. I was the same, although different timescales (together 17 years, wedding planned over 4 months).

So much focus on stuff to do, then the excitement of the day, then the come down.

It’s also why my parents planned their next holiday the week they got home from the last one.

Marriage isn't about THE WEDDING.

Now you properly get to know the person you've chosen to spend the rest of your life with, and start planning your lives together.

Welcome to normal married life, where you still have to put the bins out every week and the dishwasher doesn't unload itself. It's not some kind of elevated status, where everything is covered in stardust. Time to crack on with getting to know each other properly. Good luck!

Exactly this. DH and I got married just the two of us after covid scuppered our plans. I ended up not giving 2 hoots about the wedding, I just wanted to be married to him. Best thing I've ever done.

My first marriage (I was young!) was all about the wedding day and lasted 6 months.

We met during covid and spent a lot of time together during lockdown.
Then engagement etc so it's moved faster I guess.
All that planning and now the weddings over
No more ...ain't it crazy how quickly it goes

I don't think you need to keep planning stuff. You don't always need something to look forward to. Real life isn't like that. Live in the moment. It's with anything that you've been looking forward to for ages, once it's happened of course you can feel a bit flat. Just find little things every day that make you happy