Feeling low after getting married ....aibu?

[wardrobevoo]

I got married two weeks ago.
We were together 11 months and got engaged and married 8 months later.
I've always had something to plan and now it feels like all the planning is over.
I don't know why I feel like this.
It's been a great 19 months
Met each other,engaged ,married etc

The last 8 months has been planning everything/dress/guests etc

Is this normal?

It’s totally normal!

book a holiday as something to look forward and make a five year plan. Do you want a new job? New house? Baby?

What are your life goals that you talked about before getting engaged?

Yes that's pretty normal. The excitement of the wedding is done and now it's just day to day life.

We found that planning and booking some weekends away gave us something to look forward to.

I did similar @wardrobevoo met in the late September, got a place together Feb, engaged May and married a year later. Started TTC immediately.
What helped adjust to a normal life with nothing big and exciting was just making sure we had lots of time for us to do stuff together. Weekends away, day trips etc. All the fun stuff couple do before settling down and having kids

Goodness! You guys didn't waste any time did you! I've never felt like that but I was with my DH for 9 years before we got married and it's only been a year. Still feels wonderful!

Hopefully you’re not one of those couples who focussed on the wedding rather than the marriage. A wedding day is immaterial. It’s day to day married life that should make you happy.

This. I gather it’s totally normal for people to feel as you do after their wedding (I didn’t. - also normal!) Maybe plan a nice holiday so you have something to look forward to but don’t get addicted to the planning stage and climax etc. Learn to live in the moment now. Enjoy! :)

But it doesn't usually go that quickly though op.... That is the point everyone is trying to make to you

It sounds like you was living on a constant high/rush.

It was all very fast paced and now it has all come to an end. Time for the real nitty gritty of a relationship and to see if you can stand the test of time faced with the boring drudgery of realistic life

I had serious post-wedding blues. We didn't even have a big wedding and we had a European city break honeymoon, so nothing lavish but I was gutted that it was all over after the fun (and stress) of planning. Life goes on though and other things come along to be excited (and stressed) about such as house purchases and babies.

I had a similar timeline except I also had a baby a few months later. I felt like I had gone from wondering if I'd meet someone to being married with a baby too quickly for my brain to catch up! It did get better though.

Yes, it is quite common. All the planning and the being busy, lots of plans and excitement - can all be quite stressful as well as fun. You're now on a come down which some (Google it) call the post-wedding blues. Loads and loads of articles on it.

Some people even need to take anti-depressants to get over the hump.

Some ideas to take the edge off can be - making a photo album, inviting people over (parents etc) to see the wedding video/photos. Planning/designing your thank you card. Putting pictures into frames. Sorting a memory box.

I don't think length of engagement or how fast it all happened has any real impact. I was with my DH for a good few years before we got engaged and married and I still had a period of 'come-down'. I do think length of time to plan a wedding can impact though - we got engaged and married within 10months, it was full on as we had a pretty big wedding. To some extent I was relieved because I found it all quite stressful but I did feel a bit lost for a while and honestly, so did our parents, as they had gotten so wrapped up in the planning and seeing us frequently (we lived away but got married in our home town - so we were back alot i

Posted too soon

We were back a lot in the build up.

Lots of my friends said afterwards they had felt similar. I just felt a bit flat I guess. A bit flat and a bit lost. I'd say it lasted about 6-8 weeks or so.

Agree with this.

Did you marry him for him or for the event/excitement/thrill or duty of getting married? If someone said you couldn’t have the glitzy day would you have cared, would you have happily gone to the registry office to sign the papers?

I was SO glad when the wedding was over. No more planning and organising with caterers, florists, musicians, hotel planners. I could live life and just be with my husband. We met pre-20’s, were together 4 years before getting engaged, 2 years engaged, and been together for a good 13 in total so far.

Love to be proven wrong, but I haven’t met many people (old and young) who got the post wedding blues and are still together