AIBU to think being bisexual isn't a major part of my identity and dislike Pride events?

[Maxmayfield]

I really don't see Pride as representing me in any way. If anything it seems a bit cult-y with everyone wandering around covered in rainbows.

Sometimes I'm involved with men, sometimes women. When I was at school, I would have kept it hidden out of fear of being bullied. Now being gay is accepted, but I see no need to announce my sexuality at work, put it on a badge or hang out with other bisexuals purely because they also like men and women.

Maybe I'm just old.

Are you really asking if you're being unreasonable to have neutral feelings about your personal identity? Surely you know you're not.

Is anyone saying you have to like pride events?

I find your view refreshing. So many people seem to want to put labels on everything and announce everything.

I have a bi-sexual daughter, and a gay daughter. It might be accepted superficially, but the homophobia and the bullying still keeps on a going.

You are entitled to feel however you want to feel.

Many of the younger generation view being pro-Pride as the only moral option.

'I see no need to announce my sexuality at work, put it on a badge or hang out with other bisexuals purely because they also like men and women.'

Quite right. Your sexuality is not something that needs to be announced or 'celebrated' in the workplace, same for everyone. I think a lot of people, LGB and otherwise, are tired of Pride being rammed down their throats all the way through the month of June and well into July too. It's all very contrived and performative

Pride is great for lots of people, move on if it aint for you

What's also colouring my negative view is the fact that my city had a Pride event this weekend and the litter everywhere is absolutely horrendous. Maybe a rainbow litterpick would've been a more environmentally-friendly idea..

I don't think sexuality should define you but I can also see that if you've had to hide it or have been bullied for it pride can be a great way of celebrating something that has been repressed or hidden. I think it's completely personal, you don't have to attend or be involved.

I think its interesting that that more LGBT+ people are starting to say similar things - that being gay or bi or whatever doesn't necessarily = loud, extrovert, brightly coloured, campaigning for rights etc. They just want to quietly get on with things like anyone else. The whole Stonewall thing and the changing of the Pride agenda has, I think, alienated a lot of the "original" supporters or people who maybe feel that some of what Pride stood for and did in the past isn't really needed any more. The thread about Pride badges at a wedding was interesting the other day. Pride, or Rainbows doesn't now automatically just mean you support same sex relationships, there's a whole other agenda and thought process going on that many people are finding concerning.

I agree. The worst place for this stuff was university. People found out I was bi and insisted I join LGBT groups, which were just meetups for random people who also liked the same sex. I had nothing in common with them and the main focus seemed to be gender/trans activism.

Ended up feeling like I was weird for not liking drag, wanting to go to gay bars, having lots of pin badges on my bag, pronouns on my socials etc.

Always thought the end goal for gay rights was for us to just be like anyone else? Rather than standing out as being different.

I feel like pride has been totally co-opted by capitalism. But I don't feel the need to check out with strangers if thats a reasonable view to have.

You can feel however you like, I'm gay and don't enjoy Pride events either. I respect the fact that they matter to others though and don't feel the need to criticise them.

I've never announced y sexuality unless I fancy you then it's quite useful 🤣
But I'm definitely not into pride events and so on ,I find them rather cheesy 😉

You are more than welcome to keep information about your sexual preferences to yourself. It's probably not necessary to post your choice to do so on a public forum.

I went to a pride event (I'm straight), and it struck me how extroverted the whole thing was. So much whooping and showing off. I wondered about introverted LGBT people.

Could that be a part of it?

I believe that's the entire purpose of the AIBU forum?

Don’t like it? Don’t go. You don’t need permission and we don’t need an announcement.

The AIBU forum is for people who know they are not being unreasonable but just want to start goady threads that they know will turn into a shitshow?

A big happy party, celebrating that just a few decades ago it would still have been unacceptable in many situations to be openly gay or bisexual, and the opportunity to pull somebody in a social situation in the way that most straight people simply take for granted. What’s not to like? Why does Pride have to be any more meaningful than that? Most people love a good party and that’s why they go.

And it’s pretty difficult to avoid “announcing” your sexuality in the workplace unless you never speak to your colleagues about your life outside of work. Bisexual people then face the double issue of homophobia and the awkwardness of having to explain that yes, you did have a boyfriend last year, but now you have a girlfriend.

Gay or bisexual people are no more homogeneous than any other group so you're perfectly reasonable not to enjoy pride. I've attended a pride event this weekend and to be honest it was an excuse for the corporate group I'm involved with to support pride publicly and for their workers to enjoy some free entertainment, food and alcohol.

It's fine if you don't like it. Just don't go. I have gay friends to whom Pride is extremely important.

corporate nonsense these days, can't see why anyone likes it.
A lot of 'older gen' seem to be saying the same, but maybe we are just getting old!

Mind you, I couldn't stand a lot of attitudes towards bi women in the lgb community, and not sure it's changed much in recent times.
I remember a lot of emphasis on how we weren't into the stereotypes of shagging around and loved being faithful. Meanwhile the gay men weren't exactly projecting that image. Women's sexuality is always so policed, even by ourselves. And that's before you get to the attitudes of some lesbians towards bi women.