AIBU to think being bisexual isn't a major part of my identity and dislike Pride events?

[Maxmayfield]

I really don't see Pride as representing me in any way. If anything it seems a bit cult-y with everyone wandering around covered in rainbows.

Sometimes I'm involved with men, sometimes women. When I was at school, I would have kept it hidden out of fear of being bullied. Now being gay is accepted, but I see no need to announce my sexuality at work, put it on a badge or hang out with other bisexuals purely because they also like men and women.

Maybe I'm just old.

Right OK. You're very lucky I suppose to have never experienced discrimination. I would say that being lgbt is unfortunatly still very far from being accepted.

Remember the London bus attack? I do.

www.google.com/amp/s/www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-london-48555889.amp

You are of course free to not attend pride events. But I'm not sure why you need validation for that.

As a straight person it’s not something I’ve ever been involved with but it looks good fun and obviously people get a lot out of it. I do look forward to the day when sexuality is no longer a big deal, though. I don’t think we are a million miles away.

YANBU

I'm gay, I haven't set foot in a gay bar for over 10 years. I don't attend pride events or go to drag shows lol

I like to go on about my life with my partner and son in peace.

My sex life has absolutely nothing to do with anyone else.

YANBU

I’m gay and haven’t been to a pride event for years. Being gay does not define me and frankly I’m way to introverted to actually enjoy most pride events. I’ve never felt part of the LGBT community really, as so much of it is not for people like me. I just prefer to lead my quiet and somewhat boring but lovely life with my wife and kids.

However, I think that pride is very meaningful for a great many people and I can respect that. I also wholeheartedly stand by the original meaning/point of pride (prior to it becoming a overly commercialized party).

Hmm....a quick search of your username immediately comes up with a recent post from you talking about problems in your relationship with the male partner you'd been with for 10 years - with no reference in this list of relationship difficulties to you actually being a lesbian (which would be a fairly crucial consideration when considering whether that relationship had a future) In fact the post specifically mentions your - now waning - attraction to him. If you are going to pretend to be a lesbian to speak on our behalf, maybe you need to cover your tracks slightly better?

Oh and, FYI, mentioning life with your partner does equal "telling everyone about your sex life" to some people, if that partner happens to be of the same sex.

I don't think men walking around a city centre at lunchtime wearing only a jockstrap is appropriate.

Unfortunately, there's plenty of that sort of thing at every pride.

It annoys me because its bad representation, and we are seeing attitudes towards gay people turn, which I think is influenced by these events.

@PinkTurquoise posters do often change key details to protect their identity.

@PinkTurquoise could DuvetHugger perhaps be a male in a gay relationship?

Years ago Pride events celebrated gay and bi rights as well as others, and they felt inclusive .

My bi and my gay DD do not feel Pride events represent them and don't feel
Included anymore (whereas they did before)

It's really sad that these events feel exclusionary to those that need support as minorities

They make me very bitter as a bisexual I've been cold shouldered in lgbt context of my late teens, twenties and up to my thirties. I've slso heard comments that now being married to a man i 'need to shut up'. The pride thing isn't welcoming its a piss up and 'in crowd'. Much like the football and tour de france femme celebrations going on now. Its not supportive welcoming at all or genuine change. Just another piss up that will blow over leaving those fans out next time.

DDs not DD

It’s what I am, not who I am. While I support the majority of the pride movement I don’t wear a badge or hang rainbow flags from my car etc.

Who I find sexually appealing isn’t the defining aspect of my character.

Pride was extremely important to my ex-girlfriend, so important to me. I haven't faced the shit she has and I get why it mattered to her.
I'm bi and not into it as much but why does it matter? The people who feel it represents them, that's who pride is for.

I'm gay and completely with you OP. I am very comfortable about my sexuality and would never think of hiding it (or announcing it, other than in general conversation where "my wife likes that too" or some such might be appropriate). As a teacher who lives in the catchment area for the school I work at, most pupils know I have a wife, but I hope in my small way, that I am normalising being a lesbian by it just not being important. I'd say I definitely identify more as a maths teacher!

I certainly can't see how men wearing hot pants and nipple-tassles parading themselves around represent me at all, or normalise being gay. It reinforces stereotypes, and must make it a lot harder for young people to process their own feelings when they are discovering that the are attracted to the same sex, when this has become so entwined with so many "identity issues."

If you don’t like Pride then don’t go.

‘I went to a pride event (I'm straight)’
oh please don’t. Please don’t. Unless you’re actually with a gay friend or relative. And don’t come to our bars either, or bring your hens dos in.
one of the major issues with Pride events now ( along with the corporate sponsorship) is the sheer number of straight people coming…

It’s not compulsory to go to Pride and wear rainbows just because you’re LGBT, I’m gay, I have been to Pride a few times and gay bars etc. I think they’re fun and it’s one of the only public places (the other being gay bars) where I feel truly safe being affectionate with my wife, so they’re important even if you don’t think so.

I don’t tend to go anymore because I’m a bit older and I’m not that into drinking and partying any more, but I’ve never felt any pressure to attend.

Probably not...

DuvetHugger · 05/01/2022 14:57

AIBU in thinking that this is a terrible decision?

I was due a cervical screening this year but I am assuming I will not get my invite for another 2 years.

DuvetHugger · 24/03/2022 21:48

Pretty much since having my little girl 2 years ago they've been getting worse. My bed sheets are sodden and it's mainly from my legs. I sleep with no pyjamas on now but doesn't make a difference. I don't wake up with it, like I don't feel hot.

I told my GP and they took some bloods to check thyroid, diabetes and hormones and all came back clear but was low on folate and iron so am on meds for them which haven't helped. I'm convinced I'm starting menopause as my moods are terrible too but wouldn't they show on bloods? AIBU to ask them to re test?

DuvetHugger · 11/04/2022 17:06

For background - In 2015 I moved in with my partner into their social housing house. I never added myself down as a tenant, just never got around to it really.

In 2019 my partner finally added me to the tenancy because I fell pregnant and I wanted to make sure I had security.

In October 2020 we broke up as I found out he was cheating. He rang the housing association to say he was moving out and that I was now the tenant.

I wonder why duvet hugger wants to pretend to be gay/lesbian and look down on pride and gay bars?

Your post is basically summing up what (past) Pride has achieved. Ie. Being gay, lesbian etc just part of life, and people accept you for who you are.

That's very true.
It's very sad what Pride has become

But what is your point exactly?

There is no law forcing you to like or attend Pride events or wear anything with a rainbow and you can choose to keep your sexual preferences private.

Other people will want to attend these events and want to be open about their sexuality to others.

Those are just personal preferences.

I would say there is still some stigma and ignorance around bisexuality so I can completely understand that some people will want to challenge that very publicly.

To me your post comes across as criticism of those who choose to be more vocal about their sexuality and enjoy a yearly event.I really wish people would start being more tolerant. Live and let live.