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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Are we being cheapskates or sensible?

35 replies

MrBojanglesz · 30/07/2022 22:42

We’re planning on going on holiday in the next couple of weeks we found somewhere and it is within our budget. BIL is now coming but when we add him on holiday goes up a grand but it’s 700PP without a free child’s place so we end up spending an extra £300 for him to come and have a whole family suite to himself.

hes gone all funny with us now because we don’t want to spend more money.

are we being unreasonable?

OP posts:
pogostickplastique · 30/07/2022 22:45

I'm not really understanding what's gone on here. I think I need a bit more context

Hotandbothereds · 30/07/2022 22:48

Why isn’t he paying for himself?

DDivaStar · 30/07/2022 22:48

Surely if he wants to come he pays the extra I don't understand why you would pay more.

Schooldil3ma · 30/07/2022 22:49

Can't he book on his own and go his own way?
You shouldn't be subsiding him if you don't want to.

Canabelievethis · 30/07/2022 22:50

Not at all. His joining the group raises your outlay. He needs to accept the extra cost.

ThinWomansBrain · 30/07/2022 22:50

why doesn't he just book the same holiday & sort it independently - or is he expecting you to subsidise his single room?

Gazelda · 30/07/2022 22:52

I'm a little confused, but are you saying that to add him to the booking increases the cost by £300 and that gets him a suite to himself?

Will he be paying the £300?

If he is, then I don't see any problem.

If he refuses to pay the £300 then of course you're not being cheapskates, why on Earth should you pay £300 for his holiday?

maeveiscurious · 30/07/2022 22:52

He needs to sort himself out you have made arrangements that you can afford

AllFreeOwls · 30/07/2022 22:53

If he wants to come along he needs to pay his way

FabFitFifties · 30/07/2022 22:56

Can you explain why he is coming and why you have to pay for him? It's a bit unclear.

sunsetsandsandybeaches · 30/07/2022 22:57

Why isn't he paying all the extra cost?

AnneLovesGilbert · 30/07/2022 22:57

Your adult BIL was expecting you to pay for his holiday? Did you invite him and tell him he’d be laying his way or did he invite himself?

PurplePinecone · 30/07/2022 22:58

So is what you are saying is
the original cost of you going just your family is cheaper than adding him on? With adding him on he wants to pay an equal share to your 3+ shares meaning his cost goes down and yours goes up? But you think he should pay the additional cost over what you are paying for your family?

I agree. He should be paying the additional cost to book a room, or pay seperately

AlmostAJillSandwich · 30/07/2022 23:03

So you have one family room booked for you, dh and any kids you have, for £1100, and for BIL to join he gets another family room just to himself and holiday total jumps to £2100?

Instead of paying the full £1000 increase for his room, he wants the 3 adults to split the total equally, meaning he pays £700 and you and dh then have a £1400 "share" between you, costing you £300 extra for the "pleasure" of BIL joining you?

If so, no way, cheeky fucker pays the whole extra ammount of £1000 for his room and doesn't get to offload part of his cost to you!

Original poster
MrBojanglesz · 30/07/2022 23:08

@AlmostAJillSandwich yes you’ve got it spot on! He can’t seem to understand why we don’t want to pay the extra! Laughable

OP posts:
StClare101 · 30/07/2022 23:09

He should book everything himself. Don’t muddy the waters.

surreygirl1987 · 30/07/2022 23:48

*So you have one family room booked for you, dh and any kids you have, for £1100, and for BIL to join he gets another family room just to himself and holiday total jumps to £2100?

Instead of paying the full £1000 increase for his room, he wants the 3 adults to split the total equally, meaning he pays £700 and you and dh then have a £1400 "share" between you, costing you £300 extra for the "pleasure" of BIL joining you?

If so, no way, cheeky fucker pays the whole extra ammount of £1000 for his room and doesn't get to offload part of his cost to you!*

Oh wow. SO cheeky!! Not a chance.

ElegantlyTouched · 30/07/2022 23:52

Tell him that's fine, he pays £700 and shares the room with DH and your kids, and you'll have the other room to yourself.

Bagpuss2022 · 31/07/2022 00:10

ElegantlyTouched · 30/07/2022 23:52

Tell him that's fine, he pays £700 and shares the room with DH and your kids, and you'll have the other room to yourself.

This! See what he has to say then the cheeky fucker

Deadringer · 31/07/2022 00:18

Ridiculous. He pays whatever the extra cost is, full stop.

Bubbleguppette · 31/07/2022 00:20

How did you work that out @AlmostAJillSandwich?

You are a genius, I was totally confused.

Yes, that's very cheeky of BIL, OP.

premiumwine · 31/07/2022 00:20

You shouldn’t be expected to subside him having a family suite. Can he not get a standard room? If not, he may just have to stay elsewhere

make it clear to him that it’s not reasonable for all the adults to split the cost when his room costs £1k

Hotandbothereds · 31/07/2022 07:39

Omg cheeky bastard!! Just tell him you can’t/won’t amend your booking and he just needs to book himself separately.

The absolute cheek! I’d not fancy going away with him anyway after this suggestion- will he expect subsidising while you’re away too?

CakeCrumbs44 · 31/07/2022 07:48

Haha definitely not! Why would you want your stingy brother in law to come on holiday with you?

ManateeFair · 31/07/2022 11:19

Even without the extra cost, do you actually want your BIL tagging along on your holiday?! Did you invite him or did he invite himself?

Anyway, either way - no, you shouldn’t have to shoulder the extra cost! He needs to either pay the full cost of his room or make other arrangements.

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