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Original poster

Small wedding

27 replies

username09643 · 29/07/2022 22:56

Not sure where to post.....

We are having a very small wedding ( less than 20 for ceremony and sit down meal) and not much more for the evening reception... we don't have many friends and like to keep ourselves to ourselves I guess :/

I'm really struggling with thought of having a small wedding, please tell me it's not at all bad and also any tips on how to arrange seating for the meal without it looking like 2 tables and a top table lol

OP posts:
Merryoldgoat · 29/07/2022 22:58

Sounds lovely!!

can you do a big rectangular table? No need for top tables etc.

AnneLovesGilbert · 29/07/2022 22:59

What are you struggling with?

Ours was under 15 people, just family, and it was amazing. Wouldn’t have changed a thing.

We had one big table that we were all on.

You know loads of people get married with no one else there at all? All weddings mean you end up married, it’s just one day. And the number of people there don’t make it more or less special.

BobbyBleu · 29/07/2022 23:00

I got married in Las Vegas and had 16 people at my wedding.....it was exactly what I wanted and a big massive wedding wouldn't have been for me.

We sat on two big circular tables.

NoseyNellie · 29/07/2022 23:18

18 in total including us, one big table (private room in restaurant). Was really lovely.

Not wedding shaming anyone who has a big do, but I have heard from other people that they had people at their wedding who they didn’t even get a chance to speak to on the day - or in my sisters case had people she didn’t know at her wedding (our DF paid and one of the conditions was that he was allowed to invite his own guests)

Small is fine ☺️

Kaibashira · 29/07/2022 23:47

We had a small wedding, maybe 25 people? I like big weddings but both of us just weren't on board with the organisation, the cost, the being the centre of attention...

We had our reception in the upstairs of a local restaurant. Two long rectangular tables. Some kids present so lots of getting up and down and mingling anyway. Sharing platters rather than e.g. a three course meal, so it was like a big lovely somewhat chaotic indoor picnic.

We went out for drinks the night before. Everyone was invited for champagne before the actual wedding. Local photographer took some candid shots in the registry garden. All done by 6pm which worked for me as I had a 2 year old and was 3m pregnant.

Don't stress. Why stress? It's your wedding. Forget about what weddings are "supposed" to be like. Do what you like. Anyone who is there is there because they love you. As long as you're having a good time, they will too.

Jack2507 · 29/07/2022 23:52

I had a horse shoe or U shaped table. We had about 30 people. We loved our small wedding, it was much cheaper and got to spend time with each guest! It felt much more relaxed than big weddings which can be chaotic and very long.

Kite22 · 30/07/2022 00:15

Not sure where to post.....

Maybe the wedding section ?

I'm not sure why you are struggling with the idea of having the wedding that suits you though. You have said you like to keep yourselves to yourselves and don't have many friends, so this sounds like a wedding to meet your needs.

Re tables - it is going to depend on your venue, surely ?
I've been to a wedding where all the tables were for 4 people each.
I've been to another smallish wedding where we all sat as 4 sides of a rectangle, all looking in...... felt a bit strange to me - the people opposite were on the other side of the room. It felt more like a business meeting to me.
I've been to a wedding where the tables were 5s and 6s.
You could have 3 tables of 4, or 5 or 6 (depending on how people 'fit') set up with 2 empty seats on each table and then you and your new dh sit at each of the 3 tables for one course each. So no 'top table' but you get to spend time with all of your guests.

It will depend on the size of tables at the venue, and the shape of the room to some extent.

BigChesterDraws · 30/07/2022 02:05

We had 4 people (us and two witnesses). 5 if you count the registrar. No flowers. No photographer. No reception. No honeymoon. We went back to work the next day.

We are no less married than someone who had 500 guests.

GoT1904 · 30/07/2022 03:30

I know a fair few people, I have a few very close friends and acquaintances, then all my aunts and cousins etc..

However I'd LOVE a small wedding. I'd love it to be me, DF and just two witnesses, but I doubt it'll get to be that small.

All that matters is that you're happy. And those that you love are there to share your moment with you. ❤️ Plus less money spent on your day means more to spend on your honeymoon!! Enjoy it. And congratulations xxx

fallfallfall · 30/07/2022 04:27

lots of online info under the topic of MICRO WEDDINGS.
do you have a color pallet a vision? small weddings are lovely, can you pull a nice theme from the wedding invites you sent out?

dramakween · 30/07/2022 04:46

I attended a wedding about that size. There were two tables set out as though it was one long table but with break between the two. Everyone knew who everyone else was and after speeches and part of the meal guests moved around to sit at other seats and talk/mingle, so it felt very friendly. It is possibly one of the loveliest weddings I've attended and it felt special to be included, so I wouldnt stress too much about table layout as there won't be a wrong way to do it.

Milkand2sugarsplease · 30/07/2022 07:25

We had our first wedding anniversary yesterday after getting married last year with just us, our 2 children, 2 hotel staff for witnesses and the registrar present. It was a lovely hotel package that we chose as the day we wanted rather than what others wanted for us.

You're wedding day is just that, yours - do it how you please, invite who you want, be it 5 or 500, and enjoy it.

Tables, have them set up so that you guys can see everyone and interact throughout the day.

balalake · 30/07/2022 08:09

I have known I think four couples who had a small wedding. All of them are still together, in two cases thirty or more years on.

mdh2020 · 30/07/2022 08:24

There were 8 of us in the registry office when we got married and that was over 50 years ago. It’s not how you get married that matters- it’s who you marry. We just wanted to be married without any fuss (or photographs).Have your small wedding and enjoy it. More importantly, have a good life together.

Marvellousmadness · 30/07/2022 08:25

We had 25. It was beautiful
But why bother with tables and a top table??? Your mingle with your guests. Have 1 big table perhaps. I wouldn't even bother with a sit down meal. We just had caterers handing out loads of little food. So everyone could chat to eachother instead of being stuck next to a stranger or a weird aunt for 2 hours.

TheGriffle · 30/07/2022 08:28

25 at our wedding including us and our young neices. We got married late morning, had a sit down meal in a posh hotel restaurant with a U shaped table that fit all of us on, was done and dusted by 5pm, no evening do but us and two close friends who were staying for the night went for an evening meal later on. It was perfect.

Rainbowqueeen · 30/07/2022 08:30

Reframe in your mind as intimate and exclusive rather than small. It sounds wonderful to be. Far less stressful and you’ll be able to spend time with all your guests and each other.

Id also have one table. Choose your favourite colour to decorate. Pinterest will have lots of inspiration

FourChimneys · 30/07/2022 08:44

We had 18 people at ours. No formal sit down meal but a lovely catered buffet in a room next to a garden. It was a beautiful day and at the last minute we phoned guests to bring a picnic blanket so we could all sit out on the lawn.

My cousin, who had a big wedding, said she much preferred ours.

jcmd · 30/07/2022 11:51

We got married in Spain last week.

We had 6 adult guests and our two babies. It was absolutely perfect and my dream wedding. I wish I could do it all again. It felt so intimate and special given it was the people I love the most. I wouldn't have changed a thing about it.

My worst nightmare is having a wedding where I have to invite uncles, aunts, cousins, second cousins, friends from the past so as not to offend etc. and being the centre of attention makes me want to vomit.

Also, we spent about £4k in total for a 5*L hotel. Excellent food, drinks, service, decor etc. Probably saved about £20k if we wanted the same thing but back in the UK. The small wedding worked so well for us and it was incredible. Sounds like it's your perfect option too - go for it! X

chipsandpeas · 30/07/2022 11:59

i was at a small wedding where the top table was bride, groom, and their parents, rest of us were at long tables that were positioned like a U shape, it felt so intimate and lovely

HazelFazed · 30/07/2022 12:08

We had a small wedding in late 2020 (as to cancel earlier date) and because of Covid could only have two witnesses, my DM & DS.

We had a sit down lunch afterwards with 12 family members, in a (very beautiful) local pub. The weather was glorious so we could use the outside area too and because we’d married early in the day, we had the pub virtually to ourselves.

We absolutely had THE best time and we wouldn’t have changed a single thing. It worked out perfectly, it was easy with hardly any stress. My relatives all said they absolutely loved it.

If it works for you OP don’t think about numbers attending, a small intimate wedding in my experience, was absolutely perfect.

darlingdodo · 30/07/2022 12:09

We had 30 people (including ten kids under 10), midday ceremony in the restaurant garden then a lovely long lunch with two long tables and a round table for the kids at one end. Patio doors open into the garden so the kids could run about. It was lovely, and incredibly cheap Grin - 25 years ago in Australia and the whole thing cost about $3000 including my dress, DH's suit hire and a week long honeymoon.

AnnaMagnani · 30/07/2022 12:09

I had 20 at my wedding.

We did do 2 tables and a top table but at a small wedding, in a small room it really isn't that obvious! Plus everyone expects you to be on a table with your parents anyway.

A big advantage is that it's very easy to circulate and chat, and you will spend time with everyone, and probably not that much time sitting at your own table.

Also depending on your invites the tables may sort themselves: we had top table, parents with kids table, mates table. It worked well for those on the tables too.

We got thanked by our guests for not having to go to an evening do! Maybe it's just the people we know, but not everyone wants a dance or a band.

HazelFazed · 30/07/2022 12:10

Oh and we only had one table.

Verbena1 · 30/07/2022 12:30

We only had 10 guests and are still married 30 years later, so don’t have any bad feelings about your plans.

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