Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

AIBU to think a baby shower could be fun?

40 replies

SunnyNunny · 29/07/2022 11:51

Hoping to get some advice. I know baby showers aren't everyone's cup of tea, but my friends keep asking me when I will have one and a couple want to plan it. Having thought about it I am super excited to celebrate this pregnancy (first baby, IVF) with my friends who are also so happy for me - think could be quite fun.

I'll let my friends sort invites, decor, etc. But for logistical reasons makes sense to do it at mine I think. Now I have never been to a baby shower (honestly not sure my friends who want to plan it have either). Was thinking me and friend could make lots of nice cakes and tea/coffee/soft drinks catering wise. But what makes a lovely baby shower? Have you been to one that you really enjoyed?

Thank you :)

OP posts:

19lottie82 · 29/07/2022 11:52

Personally I think they’re a tacky and grabby American import, but I have zero interest in babies and I’m sure others would enjoy them!

if you want to have one then go for it, they’re pretty common these days.

katieg03 · 29/07/2022 12:14

I've been to quote a few and found them all akward tbh. Afternoon teas seem to be popular. The most awkward bit is when there's a cake like a flipping wedding and everyone watches it being cut.... Thankfully I think my friendship group is done with babies. £80 for the last one I went to. Cake, afternoon tea and share of a present. Then no one goes and sees a new baby empty handed. The games are cringey too.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 29/07/2022 12:16

Imo they only work if you scrap the games, say no gifts and say you just want to hang out with your friends before you have your baby. The pressure of themes and gift lists and games is what gets peoples backs up.

twomumsonebump · 29/07/2022 12:21

I've hosted a baby shower and had my own baby shower. When I hosted, everyone brought some food for a buffet-style table. I sorted out decorations - we had a photo wall with props. We played games with prizes (little bottles filled with pink and blue sweets) and everyone had a great time!

My baby shower was with the same group of girls and it was very much the same! They're like any party, the right company makes it so much fun.

Augend23 · 29/07/2022 12:31

Could you just have friends over for tea and cake? I have to say I find the games pretty cringe-worthy.

I enjoyed sorting a present for the one I went to recently but it was made very clear no present was required so I just got some books.

BeanCounterBabe · 29/07/2022 12:38

I went to a lovely afternoon tea where guests were asked to bring a token £5 present, favourite book for baby/toddler, useful or amusing items. It was not labelled as a shower, just pre-baby get together. I just did nice restaurant meals with my friends pre-babies and they clubbed together and got nappy cakes which were a thing at the time. Pre-baby get together are lovely but ‘shower’ sets an expectation of expensive gifts.

RusholmeRuffian · 29/07/2022 13:19

I absolutely hate baby showers and fine the whole concept really weird but each to their own and all that!

TheKeatingFive · 29/07/2022 13:22

Work threw me one and it was lovely. Afternoon tea with little cupcakes, bit of a chat, low key and yes they gave me a gift. It was great, I don't see the problem really.

BeanieTeen · 29/07/2022 13:23

I’ve been to just one that was lovely - someone hosted it in the garden on a sunny day and it was just a low key garden tea party basically.

I have friends who have been to some where you play like weird baby themed party games, there’s massive balloons everywhere and an elaborate cake… it’s like a kids party but for grown women, one of who is pregnant. Just bizarre.

TidyDancer · 29/07/2022 13:25

I'm not keen on them personally, could you maybe have a get together once the baby is born? I think that's nicer.

ronswansonstache · 29/07/2022 13:28

I didn't have a baby shower per se but my SIL did a tea party for me towards the end of my pregnancy and I enjoyed it! Just tea and cake with friends and family, so fairly low key.

I think it is the 'shower' part of baby showers people find a bit naff/ tacky i.e. having a party to get presents. A get together without that part of it would probably be nice as once baby is here it's difficult to catch up with friends for a few months.

Also, many people don't like giving gifts until the baby is safely here, so that's another reason people sometimes find them off putting

MrsT84 · 29/07/2022 13:29

I managed to miss both of my baby shower sadly :-( My first came on the day of his (emergency c-section) and I was admitted to hospital on the day my colleagues had organised a surprise baby shower for me! Baby came 11 days later. Such a shame!

Honaloulou · 29/07/2022 13:34

A get together with friends is lovely, it's the expectation of presents that is tacky.

Just make clear that you don't expect anything, and you'll be grand.

Bellatrix13 · 29/07/2022 13:35

Not been to one as I didn’t have one (wasn’t fussed really but also no one offered to throw me one haha, my mam thinks their tacky so I knew she wouldn’t plan it), and the one we were going to have for a friend didn’t go ahead as baby ended up coming very early (fit and healthy now!). But we were going to play that game where people bring photos of themselves as a baby and you guess who is who…..you could coincide it with a gender reveal if you know what you are having and that is your sort of thing?

I know someone who had both a baby shower AND a gender reveal party….personally I think that’s a bit too much but each to their own.

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 29/07/2022 13:35

I hate the idea of games, but I'll play them with a smile on my face for close friends.
I prefer the very casual ones. Bring the gift you would give once baby is here if you must but you don't need to buy a special 'baby shower gift' iykwim.
Recently went to one and it was a very simply BBQ with a 'bring a dish' for the the guests. We had a range of mocktails and cocktails, some no-secco and just a lovely afternoon catching up with everyone.

starrynight21 · 29/07/2022 13:35

My DIL had one a few months ago, it was lovely ! High tea for about 20 people, I sat with family members and had a nice old chat. Her work friends came so we all met them as well. We played some games, just simple guessing games to get everyone involved, nothing awful. She opened her gifts and we all exclaimed about them. It was a very nice afternoon . I don't know why people bad-mouth such things - they are just a bit of fun to celebrate a baby coming.

calmlakes · 29/07/2022 13:38

I have been to an American one and thought it was really lovely afternoon. A group of women celebrating birth.

BloodAndFire · 29/07/2022 13:39

YABU. They're awful.

Why not celebrate your baby when they have actually safely arrived in the world?

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 29/07/2022 13:40

I'd find the games really cringe worthy and the expectations of presents tacky. If it was just a get together to enjoy some baby free time and some nice food with friends then I'd personally enjoy that

babyjellyfish · 29/07/2022 13:43

It depends on your friends really. If they want to plan one and you are happy to have one, then go for it.

I think they're only a problem if people are being pressured into attending an event they're not interested in or buying a present they can't really afford.

If it's just you and your friends sitting around chatting and having a nice time together before your baby comes then why not?

pbdr · 29/07/2022 13:49

My friends wanted to do one for me. I agreed on the proviso that I did not want any gifts (so not really a shower in the traditional sense) but it was a lovely day of seeing friends, playing silly games and getting excited about my baby. It was lovely.

Anotherdayanotherdisappointment · 29/07/2022 13:52

I love them! And love the games! But both our wider families and friends love a game night and get really competitive so it's right up our alley. Never expect gifts though. It's just an excuse for a party and get together.

CraftyGin · 29/07/2022 13:56

I've only been to one, which was given by my boss (American).

It was a nice afternoon tea party.

We had a couple of tasteful games - people had to guess my girth. The only person who got it was a more mature person who knew that 90% of mums measured 40". Then we had a memory game - baby items hidden under a blanket. I got to keep everything.

We didn't have any of that tacky baby food tasting or nappy race.

secular39 · 29/07/2022 13:57

I think they are ok but my mum, who is very superstitious, would be horrified if I ever had one. She believes it's sort of a jinx as you don't know what could happen to the baby prior birth. It best to do celebrations after the baby is born...

xogossipgirlxo · 29/07/2022 13:57

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 29/07/2022 13:40

This. Just keep it low key, some food, drinks and chat with your friends. Why cake, gifts, tacky balloons and baby shower bingo?

Flip

1 2