Would this annoy you?

[cookiesNcrea]

MIL told me to pack away all my old, nice but small clothes and give to her so she can give to other people as I will never be skinny again.

i was a smaller size before but due to some traumas in life I started emotionally eating. She likes to tell me how huge I am on a daily basis. I have started a weight management program yesterday and her comments made me overeat yesterday after her phone call.

Why do you talk to her every day when she is so fucking rude? How are you meant to rebuild your confidence when someone is running you down on a daily basis?

"Would this annoy you?"

Um, yes?

What a vile woman. What does your husband say about this? I’m guessing he’s a mummy’s boy who has never stood up to her.

Stop seeing her. Leave the management of her and dc to dh.

Others in my life think she’s being matter of fact. It’s no point me keeping small clothes when they don’t fit me and others less fortunate can make use of them. It just hurts me as she could easily word this in a less hurtful way but I feel she takes joy out of telling me I’ll never be like I was,

You need to learn how to say ‘fuck off’ more.

This!

Others in my life think she’s being matter of fact.

Then you're unfortunate to have not just one knob in your life, but several. Fuck them all.

As above.

This isn't just snide digs about your weight (which would be unacceptable), this is quite deep, brutal psychological bullying. Telling you you'll never be what you once were, wanting to take away your "nice" clothes and give them away to slimmer people?

This woman is a cruel, weird fucknut. I wouldn't see her again. Life is too short to spend it with people who mistreat you.

Agree

She's a rude bitch, I'd distance myself from her.

WTAF

She's a nasty bitch, I'd have replied "oh don't worry, my old stuff is never going to fit you" & then I'd be done with her full stop

You need to tell her to fuck off and deal with your emotional eating (which I also do so your not alone) I tell myself all the time no-one can "make" you overeat and I don't listen so pot/kettle telling you what I need to do

Good luck

Do not throw away your old skinny clothes. I did this in a frenzy of hopelessness when I put on several stone due to my disability. I bitterly regret erasing myself like that and you know what? 10 years later I'm back to my old size so I could have worn them again after all.

I think you’re all right. On my wedding day I was a size 8 skinny young girl and I remember MIL told me I was fat! She measured me for an outfit a week before and told me my hips were huge. I was so self conscious during the wedding. She’s Asian btw so gave me 3 outfits as a wedding present. It was horrible standing there whilst she was measuring me and making comments. I’ve always been skinny but 15 years of comments that I’m fat and gross have had their toll. She’s an awful woman but everyone always says that’s what she’s like.

Yes, I would be annoyed if my MIL was a complete cunt.

Others in my life think she’s being matter of fact.

No, others in your life have been conditioned to glass over her nastiness

Don't let that be you, don't let your children learn to accept abuse, because they see you accepting it. Find your claws & rip her a new one for her gobsmacking rudeness

What’s hurtful is she makes me feel I should just give up as I’ll never be skinny enough or pretty enough. I looked at pictures of my honeymoon yesterday and I cried as how lovely I looked but her comments were always at the back of my mind.

You definitely need to tell her to fuck right off. If you can’t do that tell her that you don’t want her to make any further comments about YOUR body. You’re going to need to be firm.

When you say others do you mean your husband? Why is he not telling to back the fuck off? Especially when he can see how she upsets you.

Stop telling her anything about your weight/weight loss management etc. it’s none of her business and she is using it against you. And why on earth are you speaking v to her every day? Her son can do that. I think it would be good for your mental health if you distanced from her a bit. Take back some control x

Yeah she's absolutely terrible. Seriously tell her to go fuck herself, and if you're lucky she'll have an almighty strop and never speak to you again.

She is so rude.

Please put her in her place.

I'm sorry that you are so upset by her vile comments but I think you need to stop trying to understand her.

She doesn't matter, she's obviously a very unhappy nasty woman so you need to find ways to disengage....don't answer the phone, walk away when she starts being nasty.
You can't change her so you have to change how you interact with her to protect yourself. If you decide to get rid of your clothes, donate them yourself, she just doesn't need to be involved.

I'm so angry for you. This evil cow has been systematically shredding your self-esteem from the moment she met you! She knows exactly what she's doing.

I would take a measuring tape to her and say things like "oh my god MIL, you need to slow down on the food! You're bigger than me!" And really take the piss.

Where is your DH in all this?