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Original poster

Jealousy of others’ newborns - just me?!

42 replies

GreatWestRoad · 29/07/2022 07:52

I have two children who are 2.5 and almost 6 months. We know lots of people having babies at the moment and I feel very weird about everyone with babies younger than mine. I think it’s jealousy of their little newborns.

I know it’s really ridiculous to feel this way and I’m so lucky to have two healthy, gorgeous children. However, I can’t help it and I don’t really know why I have these feelings. Possibly it’s because my baby is growing up so quickly. My husband has made it very clear he doesn’t want anymore children, so I know there won’t be another baby.

Does anyone else feel this way? Does the feeling go away?

OP posts:
Karenxo · 29/07/2022 07:54

This is so funny because I know exactly what you mean. Only younger babies. For me, I missed being pregnant I think. That was the root cause. I still feel pangs and baby is nearly 1. But it does go after a few years.

Pandamumium · 29/07/2022 08:08

My ‘baby’ is 17. I have 3 children but still remember feeling upset even in the hospital when another baby was born as mine wasn’t the youngest anymore.

Youdoyoutoday · 29/07/2022 08:15

Yes my uterus quivers at the sight of a newborn, the tiny, helpless baby that needs you for everything!

Then I give my head a wobble and remember they grow up in to the 2 rambunctious darlings I have now!! No need to rock the boat and all that, I'm done now.

Aria2015 · 29/07/2022 08:19

I understand this feeling! I had it the other day! For me, that newborn stage was always such a special little bubble. I think i feel a combination of jealousy that someone is in that bubble and not me and sadness that my bubble is over. But then I remind myself that in just 4-5 short months, that newborn will be a squishy baby (still lovely) and that they're newborns for just the shortest time and rationalising it that way, seems to make the feeling just go away!

RaisinGhost · 29/07/2022 08:21

I feel a bit like this. My youngest is 2.5 and she loves babies, always wanting to play with them if we see one in the park or wherever. I wish we had our own little baby in the family that we could hug and play with. I won't have any though, I think two is the right amount for us. Having a baby is so precious though, it's normal to be bit wistful.

Yours is only 6 months old though OP! I wish mine were that young.

Passwordfail · 29/07/2022 08:22

You are being completely unreasonable.. but i feel similar. Mine is a gorgeous squishy 4 month old but got a pang yesterday when my friend sent me her newborn photo. I think it’s normal don’t worry

GeriTheBerry · 29/07/2022 08:23

I feel like this and mine are teens. I’d love to have another baby.

AmbushedByCake · 29/07/2022 08:24

You're not being unreasonable but I can't relate to this at all, thinking of going back to birth recovery, night sweats, establishing breastfeeding, mixed up days and nights, millions of nappy changes, and the utter terror of being responsible for something so completely helpless fills me with nothing but horror!

35965a · 29/07/2022 08:25

AmbushedByCake · 29/07/2022 08:24

You're not being unreasonable but I can't relate to this at all, thinking of going back to birth recovery, night sweats, establishing breastfeeding, mixed up days and nights, millions of nappy changes, and the utter terror of being responsible for something so completely helpless fills me with nothing but horror!

Same for me ^

Wishyfishy · 29/07/2022 08:28

Pandamumium · 29/07/2022 08:08

My ‘baby’ is 17. I have 3 children but still remember feeling upset even in the hospital when another baby was born as mine wasn’t the youngest anymore.

This is funny. Yes there is something in having the youngest, newest baby.

I remember being so jealous of pregnant women too. The idea that they got to do all the scans and the appointments and feeling the first kicks again and I didn’t, even though I had the end product - the baby.

I am quite glad not to be pregnant now (even though I always loved pregnancy) and that that’s how I know I’m done.

Cinnabomb · 29/07/2022 08:33

This is so bizarre/ alien to me I cannot comprehend it. I’m pregnant now and I hate it. I hate newborns and the newborn stage, I’m just gritting my teeth through the next 6 months until baby is about 4 months old and then it gets better for me. I have a DD 2years and her newborn phase was the single worst time of my life. I shudder when I think about it.

FidginSpinnins · 29/07/2022 08:35

My second and third babies died (21w and 15w due to fetal anomalies) so coming at it from a slightly different angle, but the absolute green eyed jealous where I can't even look at a baby has gone.

I held a 3m old the other day and it was ok. I wasn't jealous. It didn't hurt my heart the way it used to.

Teacupsandtoast · 29/07/2022 08:38

@Cinnabomb it'll be better second time round - and when you get time with the newborn when the toddler is at nursery, it'll feel like a piece of piss

Op - I totally get the feeling you're having, but you still have a tiny baby. Go give them a good sniff, stroke under their soft wee chin and drink them in

C0mfyChairP0se · 29/07/2022 08:39

My baby is 16 but I remember feeling special just after id had a baby, both times. Then the specialness fades.
Ha!
You get over it.
When I got over it I really got over it. Prefer having older kids. People. Their needs are conversations, to be heard, encouraged, supported, I prefer older kids to nappies and breastfeeding and buggies and needing a strategy when you see q flight of stairs. Urgh.

Cinnabomb · 29/07/2022 08:43

@FidginSpinnins im so sorry for you losses and your pain. We nearly lost our Dd after she was born. And I nearly died too. I think that’s why I dislike the newborn stage as we were both so poorly. But I hope you didn’t think I was being insensitive.

Sleepyquest · 29/07/2022 08:43

I have two the same age OP and can totally relate to this. I think it's the knowing I won't be doing it again and my time cuddling a newborn is over forever and this time it went in a flash! Hoping I get over this feeling

FidginSpinnins · 29/07/2022 08:47

Cinnabomb · 29/07/2022 08:43

@FidginSpinnins im so sorry for you losses and your pain. We nearly lost our Dd after she was born. And I nearly died too. I think that’s why I dislike the newborn stage as we were both so poorly. But I hope you didn’t think I was being insensitive.

No, not at all! And you don't have to justify your feelings! ❤️

I hope you are both recovered and happy and healthy now 😁 the long term damage and trauma (physical and mental/emotional) of child birth is no joke.

Sartre · 29/07/2022 08:50

No because I know newborns wake up every 2 hours through the night and I don’t miss that at all.

Sartre · 29/07/2022 08:51

No because I know newborns wake up every 2 hours through the night and I don’t miss that at all.

DangerouslyBored · 29/07/2022 08:53

I love this post as currently 7 months pregnant and all I ever see on MN is posts lamenting about how bleak the newborn stage is.

DangerouslyBored · 29/07/2022 08:54

Sartre · 29/07/2022 08:51

No because I know newborns wake up every 2 hours through the night and I don’t miss that at all.

Oh you ruined it 😂

Deidretheelf · 29/07/2022 08:54

I’d say jealousy is a bit strong for the feeling but I do get that feeling of nostalgia and longing.

hellotoroo · 29/07/2022 08:55

This reply has been deleted

Sorry all, but this is a persistent troll so we've removed their threads.

Hugasauras · 29/07/2022 08:56

Sartre · 29/07/2022 08:51

No because I know newborns wake up every 2 hours through the night and I don’t miss that at all.

Not mine! We have been blessed with great sleeping newborns though so I generally stay quiet about it Grin

TheLovleyChebbyMcGee · 29/07/2022 08:59

I totally get it, the thought of never being pregnant again and experiencing the first newborn snuggles makes me sad, but I think we're stopping at 2. My youngest is only 7 months, a wee sweetheart and sleeps well now, but it was months of up every hour with him and his brother too when they were newborns, I'm not sure my marriage or sanity would survive!