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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Being upset about a (lack of photo)

26 replies

MarthaMC · 28/07/2022 20:45

I started rowing (on water) a couple months ago about the same time I fell pregnant, my first, and have managed to pick up the single skull pretty well so feeling proud of myself as it's really hard. This was my last week I could attend so asked my partner to come and take pics and a video to have the memory of rowing with baby on board. I discovered afterwards he didn't take one single picture, didn't even attempt it and delete it cos he said my face wasn't clear so it could have been anyone. I got really upset and cried but he thinks I'm being ridiculous. He's very athletic and I'm not sporty at all I just wanted a little memento of my achievement especially doing it while feeling sick and tired. I know there's hormones at play here but I'm honestly still so upset I can't even speak to him, am I being totally stupid?

OP posts:
nokitchen · 28/07/2022 20:49

Not at all unreasonable. You asked for a photo and he let you down

durellh · 28/07/2022 20:50

I would say yes. Be proud of yourself & what you achieved, you don't need a photo for that. I get why he thought it was pointless as your face was blurred.

PurpleDaisies · 28/07/2022 20:50

I’d be really disappointed too. Even if it was a bad picture, it would have been better than nothing.

ManateeFair · 28/07/2022 20:51

I think you’re massively overreacting.

WinterMusings · 28/07/2022 20:52

Why don't you take one out for a light go & get a FRIEND to take some photos?

Mally100 · 28/07/2022 20:52

Yanbu, it was a big achievement for you and you wanted the memory and photo to go along especially with your baby bump. Extremely stupid and selfish of him to not do a very simply thing that you asked. He could have even zoomed in a video or photo.

PurpleDaisies · 28/07/2022 20:52

I discovered afterwards he didn't take one single picture, didn't even attempt it and delete it cos he said my face wasn't clear so it could have been anyone.

This sounds like a lie to cover the fact he forgot or could be arsed.

SnackSizeRaisin · 28/07/2022 20:52

Can't you go rowing once more and get someone more reliable to take a picture. It's annoying that he didn't when you asked him specially

AnneLovesGilbert · 28/07/2022 20:52

You’re not overreacting. You asked him for one tiny thing and he couldn’t be arsed to do it. Of course you’re bloody upset.

JanglyBeads · 28/07/2022 20:53

Sorry am confused- he did or didn't attempt it (but then deleted). And what about the videoing?

user143677433 · 28/07/2022 20:54

Sounds like he couldn’t be bothered. YANBU

Dartmoorcheffy · 28/07/2022 20:54

Did he make the video?

Getoff · 28/07/2022 20:56

I tried to take photos of my daughter sailing a dinghy, even with a digital camera with an optical zoom it was impossible to get a good picture except when she was right next to the shore.

YoComoManzanas · 28/07/2022 20:56

If he can't manage this simple request how is he gonna be when you have a baby? I would be questioning his ability to navigate anything in life!

Unless you think you mis communicated the request for photos?

PurpleDaisies · 28/07/2022 20:56

durellh · 28/07/2022 20:50

I would say yes. Be proud of yourself & what you achieved, you don't need a photo for that. I get why he thought it was pointless as your face was blurred.

It doesn’t matter if he thought it was pointless. He told to op he would do it and he let her down.

Getoff · 28/07/2022 20:57

But I suppose rowing on a river it might be possible to get close enough.

PurpleDaisies · 28/07/2022 21:00

Even if he couldn’t get close enough, he could have tried his best and shown the op what he managed to take.

Scarydinosaurs · 28/07/2022 21:00

Can you go out one more time and get a photo?

I completely get this - particularly the part about him being athletic. It’s disheartening when all you asked was a very small thing for him to do.

durellh · 28/07/2022 21:20

@Getoff it's really hard to take photos of people doing water activities.

I assume the Ops husband intended to take them as he went but then thought better of it not realising how much it would upset the OP.

If he can't manage this simple request how is he gonna be when you have a baby? I would be questioning his ability to navigate anything in life!

this is such an extreme reaction

PurpleDaisies · 28/07/2022 21:23

I assume the Ops husband intended to take them as he went but then thought better of it not realising how much it would upset the OP.

Surely, the sensible thing to do if someone has asked you to take pictures is to have a go them show them the results.

durellh · 28/07/2022 21:25

I didn't say it wasn't, I simply said I could understand his thinking that it was pointless. He made a mistake, we all do.

WTF475878237NC · 28/07/2022 21:25

The sole purpose of his being there was to document it. I'd be upset too.

durellh · 28/07/2022 21:26

I understand the OP being upset but think crying & not being able to talk to him is a little ott, but hormones can do that.

durellh · 28/07/2022 21:33

If it makes you feel better OP my parents recorded a long video of me in a sailing competition. Except it was a boy in another team, his top was a different colour. 🤣

It will shock some Mumsnetter but I still talk to them!

Mountainhike · 28/07/2022 22:05

I’m not very technically minded but I’ve been able to retrieve deleted photos of my kids on my i phone recently. Assuming he took the pictures on his phone. I had to go into photos, then albums. Then scroll down to recently deleted. Worked for me.