Inspired by another thread about CF in service industries. What have you done to get your own back to rude customers?

[ServiceIndustry]

I once worked in a cafe where a couple would visit regularly. They were horrible to all the staff. Mainly young women. Complained every time and tried to get a discount, but religiously returned the following week.

They asked for soup one time and we were 30 mins from closing so what was left had been emptied into the food waste bin (clean I might add), I took great pleasure in scooping it out and serving it to them.

I offloaded a couple of tossers once, “Weight and balance mate, read your small print!”

Mwahahahahahahaaaa

Gosh these are all rather tame compared to the stuff I have done and seen done in hospitality

All I can say is, never ever be rude to anyone who has access to your food or drink...

I know one chef who played kitchen football with a customers steak before cooking it because he’d been such a dick…

Ohhh @bluebeck do tell!

My dh is a tradesman he adds a 'twat tax' to the quotes of anyone who is rude to him or acts like they are doing him a favour....these people always accept the quote as they are desperate to get the work done.

I once worked in high level complaints and had this guy who wouldn't take no for an answer.

I forget the actual words to some of the paragraphs but he got a seven paragraph reply:

Further to...
Unfortunately...
C...
K...
With reference to...
I trust our position is clear.
Thank you.

I have arthritis in my left knee which means I can’t move as fast as my younger colleagues
I work in fast food-and when my knee goes,i can’t walk
anyway,the other day I was rushed off my feet-trying to get 4/5 orders out at a time when some woman starts screaming at me-she’d been waiting ‘hours for my food!you thick uneducated bitch!’ (3 minutes she’d waited in rush hour)
my knee just went from under me at that moment,and I collapsed-throwing a large diet coke and a burger her way
the fuss she made over that!
oddly all my colleagues disappeared and nobody offered her any tissues to clean herself up
she did get a refund-after the boss made her wait 15 minutes as ‘we are really busy,as you can see’
her order was the next one but she refused to have it-and waited a quarter of an hour for her money back

we have a guy come in and he hates me-just me-because I’m ‘too happy,polite and friendly’ (his words)
he once came in and started on me-again-as I walked past him and said hello
He started screaming abuse at me (again)for daring to speak to him
my manager got his coffee and off he went-happy that a man had got his coffee for him
my manager then let slip he’d rubbed his earwax on the lid of his cup-th part this man would be drinking from
i might not like this guy and the way he hates women but I thought he’d gone a bit far with that one
hasnt stopped this bloke coming back and giving me shit just because I’m female though
i just know my manager will put something worse in if he hears him
(the top managers don’t give a fuck-they don’t deal with the abuse so in their eyes it doesn’t happen)

But wouldn't the newest request go to back of the queue anyway?

I once had a temp job at a water utility company. Our department responded to search requests for locating the public mains and sewers. These were most commonly from developers/builders and often there'd be several at once getting the searches to tender for the same project and it was common for them to leave the request until the last minute and then find we could only guarantee a turnaround within 7 or 14 days (can't remember which). Some people would phone up and be ever so apologetic and polite and explain the urgency and we'd do our best to get it through the same day. Some people would ring up effing and blinding demanding we turn it around work the hour. Those requests went straight to the back of the queue.

Oh another one. At a pub job a woman ordered a large round of drinks plus crisps. Got it all ready, tapped all the items into the register and told her the total. She looked disgusted and said I must have done it wrong, insisted I cancel it and tap it all in again, very rudely taking to me as if I were totally incapable. It was a very busy Saturday afternoon with a big crowd building up at the bar but she insisted. I dutifully tapped it all in again and she was right! I had made a mistake ... I'd forgotten to include the crisps first time so it was actually a few quid more. Her friend came over to help collect the drinks and she had the good grace to mutter "well that served me right". I smiled sweetly.

You clever sod, that's so evil!
🤣🤣🤣🥵

I am with pp that puts change down in puddles of beer if the customer has been rude.
Or if they have put their money down in beer instead of handing it to me.

In one large bar o worked in we had a "soft drinks spot" this was at the end of the bar when if anyone wanted just a soft or hot drink could stand there , so the queue tended to be short .
The amount of people that would try to get alcohol then get really stropoy and rude when we wouldnt serve there was infuriating, ( there was a barrier , floor markings and HUGE sign making the soft spot very clear )
So anyone trying to get alcohol there had to queue a second time in the right spot to get served. I took great pleasure in seving them as slowly as I could get away with.

I was a "chalet girl", I will admit that at 19 I tried my best but was probably not ideal. However I got my groove on and towards the end the ski season was pretty good. I hosted groups of 14 on my own. End of season one woman was so rude and so difficult that every night I dunked her herbal tea in dirty washing up liquid then put it in her hot water.
I since spent the next 20 yrs working very high end always felt a bit bad about it. But don't fuck with the people that feed you! I am excruciatingly nice to service staff now , even shit ones. Any complaints I have go straight to the top and via email- if they are genuine complaints you will always get vouchers or similar.

Anyone rude to me or my pharmacy staff had to wait a lot longer for their prescription.

Even had a code: counter staff would shout 'waiting' if polite, 'red' if rude. We used red baskets for waiting prescriptions so made sense but not too obvious.

A man shouted at me because he missed the cut off for breakfast. My manager let him have it anyway to keep the peace, so I dished it up in the shape of a smiley face. Fried egg eyes, has brown mouth, black pudding nose and bacon hair.

This was over 20 years ago when i was 16-17. I used to work as a very naïve telemarketer. Some of the abuse i got was vile. I totally understood the ones who hung up, said they weren't interested, shouted not to call again etc. But the ones who told me to kill myself or called me a cunt bitch etc. got their landline written down on a post-it note and I'd ring them withheld at 2-3am and blast club music down the phone when i was partying.

I should be in GDPR jail for it, but i don't blame my younger self - why tell someone who was just trying to earn a living to fuck themselves and go jump out a window.

My late DM was Clerk to the Rent Tribunal (wonder why that ever got abolished......) and would prepare information dossiers for adjudication.
One landlord, who was making serious efforts to breach the regulations and rip off a bunch of students, made the serious mistake of striding into the office, when he began to suspect that things were not going his way, exclaiming, "I want to speak to the man in charge!" Not a wise thing to say to my mummy!
The students in the case, on the other hand, had clearly been raised to be respectful, and were a nice, polite bunch of lads. Their spokesman was always grateful for the advice she was able to give them about their tenancy.
Apparently, there was a deadline for submitting information about the case. When my DM realised that the students, being young and scatty, (I think they reminded her of me!) were at risk of losing their case by default, she called up their spokesman and reminded them that the forms had to be in before the hearing, or they risked losing their quite legitimate case. Mr Alpha Male did not get the same reminder, but as she was a mere female, he would probably have dismissed it anyway.
He was apparently livid; she received a lovely bunch of flowers.
You catch more flies with honey than vinegar.

I worked in a restaurant one summer many years ago where the management were appalling. I was always letting my customers off paying for things like second coffees, but only found that I wasn't the only one doing that when another waitress, complaining about a bad customer, said "So I charged him for everything!"

As a waitress 30 years ago I saw an obnoxious customer’s steak go down chef’s pants before going on the plate

I worked in a call centre in the evenings when I was doing my A Levels. Legitimate company and product but all cold calls, trying to sell holiday packages.

Anyone who was a knob and shouted/swore at me got their number recorded and I would religiously call them three or four times every single day and hang up for a few weeks.

Once a man gave me the most horrific abuse and shouted something like 'it's 7pm you stupid fucking slag, 7pm is my kids bedtime and I'm trying to get them to sleep when you're calling you stupid cunt...' and another couple of sentences of abuse before hanging up.

I noted his number and called him at 7pm on the dot every single shift for the next six months.

Working on a supermarket checkout- and only for the most vile, rude customers, I'd squeeze their bread as I scanned it and dig my nails into their fruit, and double scan items.

Not often, and again, only the most awful ones. Like one that refused to go to my colleague because she was "foreign". Outwardly racist, sexist etc. Not to customers that were just having a bad day. You can tell the difference!

Whenever I get a cold call, I politely say thank you very much but no thank you, and wish them the best of luck with their day. Being polite costs nothing...people forget it's a human at the other end of the phone!

Worked at a seafood restaurant as a teenager, decades ago. Sometimes seafood would arrive in poor condition - with maggots etc. This was of course chucked out.

once saw a chef scooping maggots out of the bin to add to a cream sauce of a customer who had displeased him… 😬

These types of threads often don't end well.

People who've never worked in customer services tend to be horrified