To think it’s a bit negligent to leave your DC in a water park for hours at a time?

[Rainallnight]

We’re on holiday at a place with an on site water park. DD has made friends with a little boy who’s 5, with an older brother who is 8.

Their parents routinely leave them unattended in the swimming pool for 3-4 hours at a time, just showing up to get them for meals etc.

The 8 year old is a good swimmer. The five year old has an enthusiastic doggy paddle.

DP and I are quite anxious about water safety generally so I am wondering if I’m being uptight or if this is genuinely weird.

YABU - of course it’s ok to leave kids this age unattended in pools/water parks

YANBU - of course it’s dangerous.

I don't think it's unreasonable to let an 8 year old go to a swimming pool unattended, but I'd probably want them to have at least one other child the same age with them. Letting a 5 year old go in the care of an 8 year old is parental negligence.

YANBU - sad that some children seem to have utterly crap parents

My kids are the exact same age, and no fucking way would I even leave my 8 year old unattended in a pool. A year or so ago my then 7 year old was in a pool and another child got into difficulties and grabbed hold of her pushing her under water. So unless you are super confident about all the children in the pools swimming abilities, then no you should not be leaving a child unattended in a pool.

Absolutely not ok, negligent and dangerous!!
we spent many summers by a shared pool by a few apartments on holiday and occasionally we’d ask another family we knew to keep an eye on our kids if we had to prepare lunch or whatever, but we’d all do that for each other.
As the kids got older we’d supervise from the lounger but you could see the whole pool easily.

If they are good swimmers, I would consider leaving them at age 12 +, but not younger.
However, as someone who cannot swim, I was rather paranoid about making sure my DC could swim, with lessons, etc. So, I would watch them when they were in the swimming pool, always.

When mine were that age it used to be perfectly acceptable to leave children from 7 years onwards unattended in the local indoor swimming park....it was a large one with a 'beach' area, water slides, wave machine, that sort of thing (not a regular swimming pool). I would leave mine aged 7 and 8, along with their two friends similar age, go shopping for 2 hours and then come back and collect them afterwards. Did it every week during the summer holidays. It was not considered poor parenting in those days, and everyone was happy, no-one came to any harm whatsoever.

I suspect it's frowned upon these days. However, I think 5 years is a bit young to be left.

How long ago was that?

There have already been quite a few child drownings or almost drowning this year. I always assume it’s been a parent distracted or taking their eyes off the child for a moment but perhaps not. How sad.

Most child drownings are either tiny children who drown in a small bit of water or a bath. Or teenagers out swimming who go out too far or somewhere dangerous.

About 20 years ago, so I'm talking some time ago. We'd drive to the local town which had this lovely water park, the stated rules were any unaccompanied child must be 7 years or older. It was what everyone did at the time. I paid for my children/their friends, sent them off the to the changing rooms on their own and waited until I'd seen them come out the other side in costumes (there was a poolside seating area), then leave them to it. Never occurred to me to worry, I thought it a safe place to leave children. Lots of parents did!

We’ve been to a waterpark this week, I was either watching my 7 year old from a close distance or in with him. The number of children his sort of age and younger looking who had no one to meet them at the bottom of water slides shocked me quite a bit, as did the number of apparently lone children in a wave pool. Plus the risk can be other adults, not just the water.

20 years ago?

that’s in 2000s! Hardly the fifties.

i was your children’s age in the 80s and no bloody way was it the “norm” to leave such young children alone for 2 hours whilst you went shopping!!!

Like a previous poster mine were very good swimmers, both could swim 50 metres with a proper stroke before they went in reception class and by age 7 could easily beat me in a swimming race. But water parks are not “swimming” and there is in my option much more risk of anything from a basic accident to something much more serious when you add fast rides and slides into the mix.

I just remember reading one of the most common child death causes is drowning. Also, lengthy times in water is tiring. Plus the heat. Could be a recipe for disaster.

Their using you as free babysitters while they relax and have an adult holiday. I'd be interested in what they would do if you wasn't down there. I'd 100% tell the staff it's bad enough having to constantly watch your own kids in water without watching others

^^ This

I took my 10 year olds to a water park a few years ago with a big wave machine. They needed close supervision there even though they were good swimmers. They got tired towards the end of the day and the waves were set to excite 20 year olds, not kids. It was a fun environment, they could get out at any time and there were lots of attentive lifeguards, nevertheless the potential for them getting out of their depth (figuratively - obviously they were frequently out of their depth literally) and something going wrong seemed pretty clear to me. But they’re fine in a regular pool and had been for a while.

5 is too young not to have close supervision even with a wading pool, though.

Yep this. The parents don't think the children are unsupervised. They're with you.

Are you watching their children and getting ice creams for drinks at the same time as yours?

I wouldn’t leave my 8 year old unattended near water for any length of time. She is a phenomenal swimmer The most I allow is if she goes down to the pool a few minutes before me she’s allowed sit at the steps and get her feet wet. And even then I’m wondering if I am being negligent as a parent. Someone once told me to think of water as a loaded gun and it’s always stuck with me.

Dear god absolutely not. I have spent my entire holiday watching my 9 and 10 year olds swim in the shallows of the sea with one eye. Unbelievably risky and awful. So dangerous on so many levels not just water

I wouldn’t even fuck off and leave my 16 year old completely alone. What if they have an accident or feel unwell?

An 8 and 5 year old? Absolutely not. They are selfish shit parents.

The kids weren’t at the pool today, so no point in reporting.

I’m not going to engage with the incredibly ill-mannered personal attacks saying I’m making this up or that I’m not very bright. Suffice it to say that I’ve been quite focused on my own DC on this holiday, one of whom has additional needs, and I’m bloody tired.

I think PPs were saying it had to be made up because surely nobody would leave an 8 and 5 year old unattended, not because they actually thought you were a liar, OP.

I remember going swimming with my sister when I was about 4. She was about 10/11 she left me alone in the shallow end to go to the deep end. I slipped went under next thing she's swimming back and dramatically telling the lifeguard I was drowning and that's why you don't leave a non swimmer in the care of a child.

When I did learn to swim though I went with friends from about 9/10.

It is never, ever a good idea to leave anyone by a pool or body of water without keeping an eye an them - child or not.

I have to admit I've been scarred by this. I've written on MN before about trying to resuscitate an older lady who had drowned at the bottom of a pool in my neighbour's yard. Her sari had dragged her down. I was ultimately unsuccessful and I think of her often. People can be quite blasé around pools and it really upsets me.