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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it’s a bit negligent to leave your DC in a water park for hours at a time?

204 replies

Rainallnight · 28/07/2022 08:51

We’re on holiday at a place with an on site water park. DD has made friends with a little boy who’s 5, with an older brother who is 8.

Their parents routinely leave them unattended in the swimming pool for 3-4 hours at a time, just showing up to get them for meals etc.

The 8 year old is a good swimmer. The five year old has an enthusiastic doggy paddle.

DP and I are quite anxious about water safety generally so I am wondering if I’m being uptight or if this is genuinely weird.

YABU - of course it’s ok to leave kids this age unattended in pools/water parks

YANBU - of course it’s dangerous.

OP posts:
CustardySergeant · 28/07/2022 12:50

Stripedbag101 "I accidentally hit you are being unreasonable."

You do know you can change your vote, don't you? Just click on the other option.

Ohthatsexciting · 28/07/2022 12:51

DP and I are quite anxious about water safety generally so I am wondering if I’m being uptight or if this is genuinely weird.

Oh come on op - surely surely you didn’t need mumsnet to tell you that you’re not being “uptight”. Far from it.

As for weird? Who knows but I find it weird you had to even ask!

PinkyFlamingo · 28/07/2022 13:05

Why do you even have to ask?

BogRollBOGOF · 28/07/2022 13:05

DS1 was 9 when he sent me from the fun pool to do some lengths in the adjoining main pool. It was quiet, he was in his depth and in a mood to bob about on floats. That's very different to being completely unattended and in a busy pool where it's difficult for lifeguards to monitor and fun splashing around can be difficult to differentiate from being in difficulty.

8 is a common minimum for children to be unattended. Even then there's a big difference between being in the vincinity and totally AWOL. Many private pools have higher age restrictions.

Leaving an 8 year old in these circumstances is bloody poor. Leaving a 5yo is absolutely neglect and going into endangerment. I would be contacting management.

Ohthatsexciting · 28/07/2022 13:06

PinkyFlamingo · 28/07/2022 13:05

Why do you even have to ask?

Yes I am perplexed that she even felt the need to ask.

and then “really good idea to tell the staff”.

really? This didn’t occur to you?!

Ohthatsexciting · 28/07/2022 13:08

BogRollBOGOF · 28/07/2022 13:05

DS1 was 9 when he sent me from the fun pool to do some lengths in the adjoining main pool. It was quiet, he was in his depth and in a mood to bob about on floats. That's very different to being completely unattended and in a busy pool where it's difficult for lifeguards to monitor and fun splashing around can be difficult to differentiate from being in difficulty.

8 is a common minimum for children to be unattended. Even then there's a big difference between being in the vincinity and totally AWOL. Many private pools have higher age restrictions.

Leaving an 8 year old in these circumstances is bloody poor. Leaving a 5yo is absolutely neglect and going into endangerment. I would be contacting management.

Unattended is very very very different to unsupervised

I don’t get IN the pool often with my 9 year old but I’m certainly supervising

antelopevalley · 28/07/2022 13:12

Are you abroad?

Boscoforever · 28/07/2022 13:21

I am so laid back that I'm horizontal about most things. But I find this so negligent. I'd actually find out kids' home details if possible (what school do you go to, what town you live in etc) and inform the school or SS. The kind of parent that does this is the kind you have to watch. Their kids are clearly a nuisance to them, so sad.

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 28/07/2022 13:23

Ohthatsexciting · 28/07/2022 13:06

Yes I am perplexed that she even felt the need to ask.

and then “really good idea to tell the staff”.

really? This didn’t occur to you?!

Show quote history

This is exactly why I feel OP is either lying or exaggerating.

bluekostree · 28/07/2022 13:24

YANBU- so dangerous. I would report too. Perhaps when you're leaving the pool and they're still there point out to lifeguard that the parents aren't poolside and you've being watching by default and now you're leaving you're worried about their safety.

Ohthatsexciting · 28/07/2022 13:24

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 28/07/2022 13:23

This is exactly why I feel OP is either lying or exaggerating.

Show quote history

Perhaps exaggerating
with a dollop of… by the sharpest tool in the box

Ohthatsexciting · 28/07/2022 13:24

Not

PsychoSusan · 28/07/2022 13:40

unless you want them to drown

Sunshineonarainydayy · 28/07/2022 13:41

No need to get nasty

MumOf21 · 28/07/2022 13:48

I would never leave my children unattended by a pool, not even a paddling pool, it’s simply not safe. Not all pools have trained lifeguard coverage, a few years ago whilst we were on holiday in southern Spain we had a young boy of about 5 years old come playing with my daughters who were slightly older, 8 to 12 years.
His parents were no where to be seen, and the pool contained a sheer drop from the shallow end down to 6ft of water with only a row of darker blue tiles on the floor of the pool to mark the change from the shallow end.
It was coming up to the time the restaurant was opening inside the hotel, and my Girls were hungry and eager to be first in the queue for food, so we started to pack up to leave the pool area, as did a lot of other people, only to hear a lot of commotion coming from the pool. We we turned around to investigate, only to find the young Boy had got himself into trouble and out of his depth in the deep end of the pool. Eldest Daughter and l jumped back in the pool and did the ‘Reach, Throw, Save routine, from the lip of the shelf where he had slipped off into the deep end. Thankfully we managed to save him.

Later that night, l spoke to his parents in the Bar, who were shocked to know what had happened, has they had only been in their room for a couple of hours to have a snooze out of the hot Sunshine, and believed their Son would be safe with the life guard around, of which l explained that there simply wasn’t one!

The hotel was simply not upto British Health and Safety standards in many ways, and was taken out of the TUI Brochure for the following season.

lightbulbment · 28/07/2022 13:53

I reported a lone kid in the kiddies pool last week to lifeguards. Child was in nappies and age 3/4 and the useless parents had dropped him in the child’s pool and gone off to sunbathe elsewhere. I wouldn’t have realised he was alone except for the absolute chaos he was causing. Thankfully lifeguard took it seriously and promptly located the useless parent, who continued to sunbathe next to the pool not looking at all, whilst the child continued to cause chaos. At this point I left!

Bentley123 · 28/07/2022 14:07

Who would leave their child in a pool?! How could the snooze for a couple of hours (even if there was a lifeguard!) this whole thread has made me feel physically sick at parents lack of safety. Not just water but some stranger could kidnap them.

Bentley123 · 28/07/2022 14:08

OP please update us to say you have reported these parents?!

AllyCatTown · 28/07/2022 14:37

Reading a few of these posts I’ve realised that some people (idiots) think it’s acceptable and safe to leave your young children at pools because there’s a lifeguard. It’s frightening. Life guards can’t give personal attention to young children that’s why you need to have parent supervision. In busy places they could easily miss things.

BinBandit · 28/07/2022 14:38

My DC are a year apart and were good swimmers, at 8 &9 or even 7 and 8 I'd be happy with them being in the pool on their own (well together without an adult rather than individually alone) but we'd still be nearby watching. I wouldn't leave an 8 year old on their own but would with an equally competent sibling, I wouldn't leave a competent 5 year old without an adult or older teenager so I wouldn't leave these children from your OP at all.

I think I'd have a word with the life guard or someone official.

Surely you take your DC on these holidays to enjoy having fun with them or at least enjoying watching them have fun?

Bordesleyhills · 28/07/2022 14:42

So sad an accident waiting to happen. Parents want a child free holiday... find a kids club or pay.

User48751490 · 28/07/2022 14:45

When we went swimming, DH had to keep an eye on 6yo and I had 4yo. No way would we have left them unattended. We stay in the water with them.

What utter halfwits would leave their young DC alone unsupervised?!? Incredible.

OP please report to pool staff.

User5757385737 · 28/07/2022 14:48

YANBU.

two factors here - of course the drowning risk of not being supervised.

secondly, the safe guarding risk. Putting the drowning risk aside, kids shouldn't be left alone with strangers around!

SW1amp · 28/07/2022 14:57

AllyCatTown · 28/07/2022 14:37

Reading a few of these posts I’ve realised that some people (idiots) think it’s acceptable and safe to leave your young children at pools because there’s a lifeguard. It’s frightening. Life guards can’t give personal attention to young children that’s why you need to have parent supervision. In busy places they could easily miss things.

There was a thread earlier this week where the OP was incandescent with rage that a lifeguard didn’t immediately spot her DC in trouble in a busy swimming pool, after both parents let the child wander off on their own

she wouldn’t not accept it was her fault, and was adamant it was the lifeguard. Just insane!

CruCru · 28/07/2022 15:05

dianthus101 · 28/07/2022 11:00

I bet they have decided that you are looking after them. Have they spoken to you?

Yep. You have been earmarked as the supervising parent.