Secret confessions thread

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Okay, so, we all have these thoughts; things we know we DEFINITELY are being unreasonable about and yet we can't help but think them.

This is that thread. A chance to say whatever you want judgement free. You know it's silly, you know it makes no sense but it's how you feel. Feel free to share! It might make me feel a little less crazy.

I'll go first...

My best friend gave birth to twins today and I am INSANELY jealous. Simply because I want twins. I know it's stupid, I know I likely won't even have twins but I want them so badly and now she has them. I feel like she's stolen the twin dust and there will be none left for me!

Like I said - just somewhere to post how you're feeling consequence free

I’m in my fifties and have a secret FWB who parks his car round the corner and pops round when the children are out. The children worry about me being a lonely singleton.

I sunbathe naked in the garden too.

Someone I knew 👀...had a housemate who liked to talk about his love and knowledge of wine. They were all early 20s and skint ffs. But on and on he blathered.

Said acquaintance swapped the contents of all their cheap, £4.50 Tesco plonk for their housemates 'expensive' stuff. Resealed the screw tops with a tiny dot of nail glue for that new screw top crunch. Listened to him drone on about how his wine was much better than theirs while they drank it. "Oh no, I couldn't drink that. Vinegar. See, taste this. Its so much more complex. Look at the consistency as it coats the glass." Yep, that's Tesco £4.50 "table wine" you twat.

I’m the opposite to you. I was always a SAHM and didn’t feel I’d accomplished much till I had my youngest of 5 children who’s severely autistic amongst other things. And it was only when I got him that I realized everything in my life had led me to being his mum and for the first time in my life (in my mind) being really good at something (his disabilities). A few decades later I took on a (voluntary) role like the one you’ve mentioned and now I run a group of volunteers working with young adults just like him. I never thought I’d have the confidence to do but I just kept him firmly in my sights every step of the way and I would put money on you being absolutely great at the job job you’ve been offered if you can pluck up the courage to take it.

My sisters think I am an idiot because I have Have made some questionable decisions For my relationships. Historically. In my teens and twenties.
All warranted.

They don't know I am Paying my mortgage off 50% of the term early. It's 20 years later. I'm happily married now. They think my DH is paying off my mortgage.

They think I am still the person I was 20 years ago. It's depressing.

SorryICantIvegotaCatonmyLap · Today 21:36
I really miss that feeling of someone (a boy / man) telling me they like me. I miss being 14 - 22 years old and that feeling of being desired.

I often have dreams where someone just wants to hold my hand. I always wake up feeling happy.

ive done this too! Except I’ve said it’s my husband (to avoid bad karma). He has also never had it and hates lying so it’s led to awkward moments

I'm completely and utterly in love with my husbands best friend. Have been for years.

I'm fucking furious and have been since yesterday when I told DP I'm having a birthday thing for ds 1st birthday. I've asked my dm to use her house/garden and she's said yes. It'll be lovely.
He said to me 'oh. The only thing is my mum and dad. They might not want to come since it's at your mums'

What the fuck
He doesn't know how close I am to blowing up about this tonight but I'm putting ds to bed first

That was to georgecat

This for me, too. I think most of all, I'm sad that if I stay with the same man for the rest of my life, I'll never again get to experience that rush of lustful attraction to someone else, the excitement and butterflies of the first few dates, first kisses, first time sleeping together etc.

I watch and enjoy porn.

Your 2nd paragraph..... it's as if I wrote it!

None of my friends or family know, but I had a hobby in my 20s that involved making very wealthy older men think I was going to sleep with them so they’d take me to their clubs, to expensive restaurants, and give me gifts and cash. Then I’d just ghost them when they eventually figured out the sex wasn’t going to be forthcoming. It worked a fucking treat, it really did.

Totally lost count of the number of men I did it to. I occasionally slept with the ones I fancied, but the vast majority were just a route to money and adventures. I look back on that period very fondly indeed and without the tiniest hint of guilt or shame.

I actually really like my parents in law - they are wonderful to me and our children - which makes this worse.....

They have worked extremely hard over the years and have invested in property....currently selling their main family home for £1.3 million to downsize with another two properties owned outright, one of which is a commercial premises which was worth £1.8 million back in 2014 and the other is a three bed in the centre of Kingston so probably quite high value. We are happy in a lovely semi detached house but I do sometimes allow myself to day dream about the house we could buy with my husbands inheritance.....

NC for this one.

Years ago my then H had an affair with a nasty piece of work who terrified my then small DC. I took a picture of the OW from her Facebook page then posted it on a popular forum (cough cough) saying it was me and asked people to tell me how old " I " look.

Cue tens of pages of people telling her she had a terrible hairstyle, her colour job was crap, she looks alot older than she was etc etc.

It was glorious.

I have 3 FWB. I deliberately work part time so I can fit them all in whilst the children are at school.
I'm a responsible professional in my day job.

There was a poster who explained about their double life a few months ago. And it really was a double life. She’d had to flee a previous life and her new family had no idea she had once been another person and her name had, if I remember correctly, been taken off a child’s headstone in a cemetery.

I'm suffering from a ridiculous unrequited crush on the husband of one of my friends.

I used to shout every swear word and use every rude sign I knew at my ex when he was passed out from alcohol.
I often work in a work top and just pants at home (I have to remember not to stand up mid zoom)
I often forget which is my drink (tea/alcohol etc) and have accidentally drank or started drinking other people's!

I think Donald Trump is ok. Boris too.

@Zone2NorthLondon @SorryICantIvegotaCatonmyLap In one life im this sweet happy quiet person who goes to work has 2 children (older)runs a house and just gets on with life. In my 2nd life I binge drink take drugs, sleep around and have been in the back of police cars more times then I can count if any of my friends, family, colleagues knew this side of me they would be shocked. The person I am in 2nd life is a million miles away from the person I portray in my first life.

I love you!! I wish i had your job and the balls to do this

Name changed for this

I feel nothing. Ever for nobody. Nothing for DH. Nothing for my DC’s. My dad died and I felt nothing even though he was a good man. I could leave them all tomorrow and disappear without a care but it would upset them so I don’t.

My colleagues are vile. At work I try to imagine that I’m a visiting alien. I come home and write about their behaviour in a little notebook from the alien’s perspective. I invent bizarre ‘alien’ rationale as to why they might be acting the way they do. Nobody know about this apart from my psychologist 😁