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Original poster

Secret confessions thread

999 replies

colourPink · 27/07/2022 20:13

Okay, so, we all have these thoughts; things we know we DEFINITELY are being unreasonable about and yet we can't help but think them.

This is that thread. A chance to say whatever you want judgement free. You know it's silly, you know it makes no sense but it's how you feel. Feel free to share! It might make me feel a little less crazy.

I'll go first...

My best friend gave birth to twins today and I am INSANELY jealous. Simply because I want twins. I know it's stupid, I know I likely won't even have twins but I want them so badly and now she has them. I feel like she's stolen the twin dust and there will be none left for me!

Like I said - just somewhere to post how you're feeling consequence free Smile

OP posts:
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5
Abhannmor · 28/07/2022 16:17

forlornlorna1 · 27/07/2022 20:49

I talked my exh into a vasectomy before I left him

Creepiest thing I've ever read on the Internet. Hope there's nothing in this karma business for your sake.

ViennaDreams · 28/07/2022 16:20

PGordino · 28/07/2022 15:58

Extraordinary. I’ve no idea why this should be far sexier than 600 pages penned by EL James, but it is.

Bravo.

Show quote history

I think it’s erotic because it’s about pure chemistry. It reminds us of those moments when you lock eyes with someone you’re attracted to, or your hands brush together, of you’re intensely aware of someone in a room and you sense they’re feeling it too… the promise of what could be rather than what is. If you take it further, then you can never return to that place of ‘what if’…

Oggyoi · 28/07/2022 16:20

OWrevenge · 28/07/2022 15:52

Caught my husband having an affair about 5 years ago and systematically destroyed the OW’s life

she knew us and knew what she was doing, so was as culpable as him

over the course of 2 years, I had her sacked from her job, then sacked from her next job by telling them she had been sacked from the last one

Then I bought the freehold of her flat through a shell company (I work in property investment as my day job) and hit her with a massive bill for overdue maintenance work, which forced her to sell it for less than she paid for it because I knew she had no way of paying the bill

i also did lots of silly little things eg she would post on (unlocked open) social media that she was excited about going to a certain restaurant with friends, and I would phone up the restaurant, cancel her table and then rebook it in another name, so she would be turned away when she got there
She also posted that she was going to the theatre, I phoned her pretending to be from the theatre to say that sadly the performance had been cancelled and she would be refunded within 5 days. I then saw her tweeting the theatre asking for her refund so she definitely didn’t go to the show

basically just did anything I could to make her life difficult and not very fun

I was in therapy during most of it, and told my therapist what I was doing and her attitude was that it wasn’t something she would recommend or suggest but it wasn’t making my mental health any worse, and we had a bit of a giggle about some of the things I did

I stopped after she lost her flat, because I didn’t think I could do anything to top that…
And she doesn’t know any of it was me

Did you aim any of your maliciousness towards your husband? Fucking sexist

Bluedabadeeba · 28/07/2022 16:20

rightonthyme · 28/07/2022 13:14

Mine is very silly - I have a massive, massive crush on Derren Brown, and would happily let him hypnotise me and do whatever he wanted to me. The way he rolls his shirt sleeves up gives me the fannygallops. I am the wrong sex entirely for him to be interested so I just content myself with dreaming :D

Yesssss!!! So interesting and intelligent. Love him!

ilovecardigans · 28/07/2022 16:22

DillonPanthersTexas · 28/07/2022 09:39

I used to get annoyed that the large shrub in my front garden by the front wall would get little bags of dogshit hung in it by lazy twats. I could never figure out who it was until I started working from home during lockdown. I set up my office in the spare bedroom at the front of the house where I saw the culprit hang her dogs shit in my tree. I was going to run down the stairs and give her a bollocking but I held back as I wanted to know where she lived. Instead I followed her the next day (after she had hung a bag of shit in the tree) and discovered she lived a few streets over. Not sure why specifically choose my tree, there were plenty of others to hang turds from but it clearly has become a habit for her. For the next few weeks I let her leave her fecal gifts for me before one night I quietly walked around to her home posted about 15 of her gift wrapped shits through her letterbox before running home and washing my hands till the skin nearly came off.

Oh, this is just marvellous! I would love to find out where the owner who allows their dog to crap on our front lawn lives. Good for you @DillonPanthersTexas !

Judgeypantsarehere · 28/07/2022 16:23

I'm sick and bloody tired of everyone and their granny having 'anxiety'. Loads of people play the MH card when they just don't want to do things (parent/ housework/ work) and just need to get on with stuff. It does no favours for people with real MH issues at all.

People talk about a MH pandemic, but many, many people are their own worst enemy: being a little anxious at times does not proper anxiety make.

MH is the new trend to make sure you get disability payments - not a benefit basher here, it's genuinely what I hear as I work in a field where I hear such things- as it can never be proven. I've heard of women shaving their head before appointments to make sure they get the benefits.

I read MB threads and want to scream 'STFU about your anxiety!!!!!!'

There said it. Not a popular opinion but I said it.

Ihadenough22 · 28/07/2022 16:23

I asked you to meet me on my birthday. You told me you can't do this because you have an appointment the following day but you will be free after that.
Do you know what I have had enough of you making excuses any time I try to meet you. I am sick of contacting you and I could be waiting days for a reply. Your making the smallest amount of effort to keep me in your life. You want me their for when the next shite storm hits you. Because of my current situation I am the only friend you have that can drop things easily when you need a friend.

I just want to ask who do you think you are?
Think back to a few years ago when your husband had no job. You had one bad thing after another happening to you and then one of your kids ended up under chams with mental health issues.
Do you not remember all the times I was their for you in the past? Can you remember what I did for you back then?

Do you honestly think that the past few years have been easy me. You know about all the crap I had to deal with before the whole COVID situation.
Yet when I ask you to make the smallest effort for me I am given continuous excuses.

Yet you recently had the brass neck to ask me for a favour which I did for you. A month later you were back again asking for another one. I decided then I was not doing this for you until I saw you making some effort for me.

Your not that busy. In the past you could find the time to meet me when you needed someone to moan to, help you sort out your issues or do favours for you.
At this stage I had had enough and if you don't make any effort with me soon don't expect my friendship much longer.

WireSkills · 28/07/2022 16:26

Springduckling · 28/07/2022 13:38

Don't blame you @Byronalso . I recently was driving down a narrow country lane. There came a point where I had to slowly edge past a van. He refused to reverse at all and I went v slowly to avoid bashing the van and also scraping my car on some pots next to the side of the road. As I passed him, he opened his window and told me I needed to learn to drive as there was loads of room (there wasn't).
Having been patient up to that point, I wound down my window and called him a fucking c*.

This is the kind of thing I'd say, but in hindsight wish I'd made a comment of "well, sometimes things are a lot smaller than a man tells you they are..."

RockinHorseShit · 28/07/2022 16:28

My parents had an awful time with the freeholder of their popular cafe, leading to them losing their business... turned out freeholder was an awful man, who had form for pulling in favours from his bank to put the squeeze on his tenants when he wanted his cafe back. They were the last in a long lineHmm

I had a friend who ran the insect house at a zoo. I visited this cafe that was now being run by the freeholder again, with a few tubs with a few cockroaches, including pregnant ones in my bag & I let them loose in the toilets near to the kitchen. A friend dropped off a couple of small rats off too.

Waited a couple of days & rang environmental heath & reported him. He was shut down for a while. No idea if my prank played a part, but he went bankrupt soon after & I'd love to think it did Grin

confessionstoday · 28/07/2022 16:33

I hold down a professional job but at weekends I go to sex clubs on my own. I fuck men and women and have no clue what their names are. I have down some incredibly naughty things that no one would ever guess about me.

If they are any good I might arrange to meet them another day.

My last bf I knew I didn't love him but he was handy round the house so I waited until he had finished some odd jobs before I dumped him.

BluSox · 28/07/2022 16:33

I urinated in my stepdaughters favourite mug as I simply couldn’t stand the little brat.

Xztop · 28/07/2022 16:34

I have herpes

Judgeypantsarehere · 28/07/2022 16:34

Friend, I know you've had a crappy couple of years, but I'm sick of hearing about you. You never ask about anyone else. You know I have a tough time with an SEN child and you just never consider me.

I also know about your dodgy leaving out details for the tax man - I've been tempted to calk actually!

forlornlorna1 · 28/07/2022 16:38

Moonchair1 · 27/07/2022 23:05

@forlornlorna1 brutal

Trust me he deserved it

Longlegsandskinnyjeans · 28/07/2022 16:38

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

KohlaParasaurus · 28/07/2022 16:38

forlornlorna1 · 27/07/2022 20:49

I talked my exh into a vasectomy before I left him

Thanks for that 😘If he hadn't had a vasectomy before I met him we'd have had a child or two together and now we'd be going through another round of parenting teenagers in our fifties instead of having a nice independent life together.

tillylula · 28/07/2022 16:42

3luckystars · 27/07/2022 21:33

I make tea with the milk and sugar and teabag in the cup and just port the hot water over the whole lot. It makes absolutely no difference. I drink loads of tea and I don't believe anyone can really tell if it has been made ‘properly’.

Me too

Idislikethisbutitstrue · 28/07/2022 16:45

I have a child with ASD, ADHD and epilepsy I adore him but many, many times I have fantasised about having not had him. Our lives are so, so very hard dealing with his problems. I think DH and I have taken years off of our lives due to stress. Thankfully we're really strong, but I can't help imagining life without the stress.

Our 2 NT kids are affected enormously by it too. I also think they'd prefer life without him if they were deeply honest with himself.

I know I'm selfish for saying it, but I feel it. I'm jealous of all my friends off abroad on relaxing holidays when I can't even dream of taking DS on a plane. I hated my UK holiday this year- it's been the 10th one since DS and I just want sun on my face at a pool.

LoisSanger · 28/07/2022 16:45

I have an inappropriate crush on one of my DS's friends.

notremorseful · 28/07/2022 16:45

I'm married and addicted to sex and human touch. I've been with multiple sex workers, male, female and ts. Only ever oral as that's my cheat boundary. Many times not even that, just hugging and lying close (kissing if they do that).

NanaNelly · 28/07/2022 16:45

Oggyoi · 28/07/2022 16:20

Did you aim any of your maliciousness towards your husband? Fucking sexist

Show quote history

Am so hoping this is made up.

secretconfession · 28/07/2022 16:46

I have started sleeping with my male best friend. We have been best friends for years and years and it was extremely unexpected. It was always 100% platonic before then. I am single but he has a girlfriend. Never ever ever did I think I would be the OW. It actually doesn't feel like I am the OW - sleeping together has not changed our friendship whatsoever. Weirdly I feel no regret, perhaps since his girlfriend is absolutely horrible (general consensus from everyone who has ever met her, including, often, him....)
P.s. I am not the first person he has cheated on her with

tellitall · 28/07/2022 16:47

I love this thread! But where to start?....

I hate my work colleagues, loathe them. The main one is to old to be working in this field and is quite frankly shit! I sometimes think about hitting her in the face!

My SIL uses my niece's ADHD as an excuse for her bad behaviour. Sometimes and most the time she just isn't a nice child.

I won't be sad when my dad dies. I've daydreamed of ways he will die! (He was emotionally abusive and controlling when I was growing up)

I'm sure there's more!

Burnbookregina · 28/07/2022 16:47

Sometimes i really hope my disabled sister doesnt live a really long life as selfishly i dont want to end up her carer when my parents are no longer around

TrashPandas · 28/07/2022 16:48

Am so hoping this is made up.

Definitely a fantasy.

The thread is really devolving now, which is a shame because it started out well. I hope it doesn't get put in Classics.

Swipe left for the next trending thread