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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I can solve all your problems!

84 replies

ForeverTeach · 27/07/2022 20:05

I have had a few glasses of wine but recon after reading a lot of the threads here I can solve all your problems.

so, go ahead, mystic teach at the ready.

OP posts:
Original poster
ForeverTeach · 27/07/2022 20:18

Cagedcheddar · 27/07/2022 20:13

How can I get teen off phone for more than 5 minutes

Simple, follow these instructions to the letter:

  1. Take phone
  2. smash with a hammer
OP posts:
Original poster
ForeverTeach · 27/07/2022 20:19

Biggreencactus · 27/07/2022 20:09

What shall I have for dinner? Serious problems in this house ha.

Beans on toast or fish and chips.

OP posts:
leepinglizards · 27/07/2022 20:20

How do I stop my kids bickering?

Firefly86 · 27/07/2022 20:20

hesttreat · 27/07/2022 20:05

What's the best way to avoid a hangover?

Stay drunk 😂😂😂

Original poster
ForeverTeach · 27/07/2022 20:21

PuttingDownRoots · 27/07/2022 20:13

How can I make uniform shopping tomorrow unpainful?

Measure said child, take measurements to the shop. Buy items, show child
What an amazing parent you are!

OP posts:
hesttreat · 27/07/2022 20:21

@Firefly86 I think we can be friends GrinGrinGrin

leepinglizards · 27/07/2022 20:22

I think we can all be friends with @Firefly86

Original poster
ForeverTeach · 27/07/2022 20:22

leepinglizards · 27/07/2022 20:20

How do I stop my kids bickering?

Sellotape them to the walls! May need silver tape stuff and separate rooms.

OP posts:
Original poster
ForeverTeach · 27/07/2022 20:23

Firefly86 · 27/07/2022 20:20

Stay drunk 😂😂😂

Show quote history

Yes!!!!!! Ignore previous advice, this is the actual wiki answer 😁

OP posts:
JaneJeffer · 27/07/2022 20:24

Do you think it would be ok to just pile up all my clutter and burn it instead of sorting it all out?

Original poster
ForeverTeach · 27/07/2022 20:24

MushMonster · 27/07/2022 20:15

Winning numbers of this coming Friday Euromillions please!

why Would I share my numbers?

OP posts:
riotlady · 27/07/2022 20:24

My toe hurts

Pook84 · 27/07/2022 20:25

How do I fix this mess?

Original poster
ForeverTeach · 27/07/2022 20:25

JaneJeffer · 27/07/2022 20:24

Do you think it would be ok to just pile up all my clutter and burn it instead of sorting it all out?

Of course! You could make a street party of it and invite neighbours.

OP posts:
Original poster
ForeverTeach · 27/07/2022 20:26

riotlady · 27/07/2022 20:24

My toe hurts

FFS, get a wet paper towel on that bad boy.

OP posts:
Original poster
ForeverTeach · 27/07/2022 20:27

Pook84 · 27/07/2022 20:25

How do I fix this mess?

Join janejeffers burn party!

OP posts:
Original poster
ForeverTeach · 27/07/2022 20:28

OMG, I just realised I don’t need to quote, I can reply!!!

OP posts:
JaneJeffer · 27/07/2022 20:28

Good idea @ForeverTeach do you have any bunting I can burn borrow?

Original poster
ForeverTeach · 27/07/2022 20:29

Yes, extra special wedding white and beautifully formed in squares with perforated edges to age sophistication!

OP posts:
JaneJeffer · 27/07/2022 20:32

Ok it might be a bit singed when you get it back.

AyeUpMeDuck · 27/07/2022 20:33

I want toast.
But I'm toaster less...

And, more concerningly, breadless...

What do oh mystic?

JaneJeffer · 27/07/2022 20:35

Singed looks weird when you write it down. @ForeverTeach why is sang the past tense of sing and singed means scorched oh wise one?

Original poster
ForeverTeach · 27/07/2022 20:35

No prob, I am feeling generous. You can keep it!

OP posts:
Original poster
ForeverTeach · 27/07/2022 20:36

Pour yourself a large alcoholic drink and forget about the toast.

OP posts:
Original poster
ForeverTeach · 27/07/2022 20:37

What the fuck? Because that’s the way of the world.

OP posts: