To ask visitors to please do this?

[925XX]

Remove their shoes. I have very pale cream carpets and no one in the household wears shoes in the house. My niece recently called and it was heavily raining, she had cork sole shoes on which sucked up lots of water which she tramped over my carpets. I asked her to take them off as wet soggy prints were being left behind. I do not have to ask some people but feel awkward when I do ask.

find it very awkward to stand there while a grown man (say) takes his shoes off and presents himself in his stockinged feet as if he's doing me a favour. You're not doing me a favour and you look ridiculous.

To me someone standing indoors in a pair of shoes looks ridiculous. Slippers yes.... shoes no

I don’t think people generally look ridiculous without shoes, don’t be silly.

I do think randomly taking your shoes off when you’ve been asked not to and standing there in your socks for no reason whatsoever makes you look ridiculous. Or perhaps it’s only “shoes off” people who are allowed to set their own rules in their own home? 😂

@TheKeatingFive

circulareconomy.europa.eu/platform/sites/default/files/knowledge_-_toxics_in_carpets_eu_review_anthesis_final_study.pdf

Section 5, pps 41-69 details chemicals of concern.

Pps 5 and 6 reference health and environmental concerns.

It's strange that people are often so concerned about use of clothes dryers in the UK but cheerfully cover their floors in stuff that releases toxins into the environment for the entire duration of its life, and traps mould, bacteria, and particulate as well as a host of other nasties into the air in their homes.

I've always thought 'nasties' are good for my immune system

Everyone in the UK? Thats a bit of a leap. And manners for something like this is subjective, I wouldnt ask any adult to remove shoes in my home as I would consider that extremely rude.

Ive never been in a home where i have had to take my shoes off! Never been asked either and never seen others do it. Also never been in a home with anyone daft enough to have pale cream carpets or other impractical flooring!

Pps 5 and 6 reference health and environmental concerns.

There are two lines with no supporting data to back anything up.

If it was a genuinely problematic you'd expect to see that reflected in data comparing counties where carpet is prevalent compare to where it isn't. The U.K. / Ireland would be good comparison points to other parts of the world. But I've never seen that so much as suggested let alone evidenced.

Also never been in a home with anyone daft enough to have pale cream carpets

I’m daft enough. I don’t ask people to take their shoes off, in fact I prefer them to keep them on. The four year old cream carpets are still pristine because they get shampooed regularly.

I am fine with this as long as you have clean floors. It is disgusting to go and put my shoes on and realise my socks are filthy.

I ask people except workmen as that seems a step too far and if they're installing eg a fridge or something it's dangerous in case they accidentally rolled it on their foot or some such.

@Eunorition I have excellent manners but have never and I repeat never been in a shoes off house in my life and I’m mid 50’s and a community nurse. So guess you can’t talk about everyone in Britain.

My aunt was the first person I knew who had this rule. I hated it as a kid and thought she was quite snobby for it.
Then I grew up and moved overseas. After living with Asians who had this rule, I got very used to it. Now I have this rule too for my own house and always take my shoes off in my parents house. I don’t in anyone else’s unless they ask or I see them not wearing shoes themselves. I hate wearing shoes inside for long periods now.

I ask visitors to remove their shoes. YNBU

We take our shoes off but don’t ask it of guests, it’s up to them. For some it’s awkward or dangerous for mobility reasons. I do not wish anyone to feel uncomfortable in my home. If I arrived at someone’s home and the frost thing I saw was a sign demanding I remove my shoes I’d not expect them to be terribly gracious hosts. It sets the tone of the visit.

If you prefer guests to take shoes off then simply ask them.

In 43 years I’ve never once had the apparently common experience claimed on these threads of guests tracking dog shit through our home:

DH was from a shoes on house when we first met and it took a fair bit of training to get him out of the habit. To be fair, his family place was an old house in the middle of nowhere with uneven stone floors downstairs, so that’s a bit understandable. Still slightly grim though.

On the point of people not wanting to display bare feet, we have a box of guest slippers, disposable socks, and shoe protectors for visitors / tradesmen so no problem. Also, if I’m planning on visiting someone, the last thing I’d do is put some manky old socks on or be barefoot…

Shoes off or fuck off in our house. My wife is Japanese and this is one point on which Japanese people will not concede an inch.

In other people's houses, we do whatever they ask.

DH was from a shoes on house when we first met and it took a fair bit of training to get him out of the habit.

what habits has he 'trained' you out of?

^ This

“We are a no shoes indoors family but I’m very reluctant to ask visitors to remove shoes. I see it as pretty rude tbh - it’s like saying that my floors are equally if not more important than my guests.” - yeah, and? My carpets ARE more important to me 🤣 than having guests. I tell people in advance though- if they don’t like it, don’t come.

@Eunorition We here on the west coast of the U.S. don’t follow that rule, but our east coast friends do. So we pretty much are a 50/50 split, but we all have excellent manners.
It’s more custom than being rude or polite. I wouldn’t dream of wearing shoes in someone’s house where the custom was to remove them.

My friends and kids' friends all remove their shoes automatically at the front door just as I do at theirs. People I don't know so well usually ask. And tradespeople usually bring sheets to protect flooring or wear shoe covers. If I'm at a new house I always ask if they'd like me to remove my shoes. It's just common courtesy, surely.

I was shocked years ago when I went to my Asian friends house and they insisted I take my shoes off as uncommon then. When I had ocd after having a child I hated anyone walking across my floor with shoes off but as someone else said they could have stinky feet. Now I don't care and also have a dog so cannot be bothered worried all the time as would drive myself mad but if you choose to have cream carpets then your carpets would be ruined if people wore shoes. I don't ask people to take shoes off now as son 22 but was different when he was crawling around on the floor as a baby.

ah - this old MN chestnut of ‘shoes off’ or ‘shoes on’ is back again!

My personal view is that everyone should respect the wishes of the person who’s house you are visiting. Anything else is rude. And if you don’t like taking your shoes off then don’t visit or take slippers!

Is that a joke ? Who would be that rude to a guest .

Thinking that someone who is welcoming onto your house and serving you is rude because they don't want extra housework and filth in their house is -checks notes- 'rude'?

Oh my days, irony definitely isn't dead. How unbelievably rude to your hosts. Take off your shoes if that's what your hosts want. Bring socks if you have athletes foot.

Its not RUDE to ask visitors to respect your house rules.
Entire cultures live their lives in shoeless homes.
I have a little sign that asks visitors to take their shoes off. It is outside my house so that they can see it before even knocking on the door. That way it clears the whole "would you mind taking your shoes off "convo

Shoes in the house is vile. White carpets or not. It is unsanitary.

I have a little sign that asks visitors to take their shoes off.

Oh, one of those 😂

It is unsanitary.

Once again, based on what, where are the poorer health outcomes?

Re the party, for the guests that is just awful. People came having made great effort to dress up in honour of the occasion and then were made to feel humiliated by the hosts when they were asked to remove their footwear. That is so disrespectful to your guests.
For goodness sake people, if your carpets etc are so much more important than your guests' right to choose between shoes on/ off - then don't have people round.