AIBU : to move or not to move..?

[SmileyJ]

Hi, I'm new to Mumsnet and I'm looking for some advice. Sorry if this is long.

We currently live in the South East and are comtemplating moving north of the border to be nearer family and friends. I am a sahm and am not very happy here. DH works in the SE (and enjoys his job and financially isn't sensible for him to leave) so we would move our main house north, with me and my dd living there during the week and dh renting here and coming back at weekends. He is happy to do this even though it is me driving the move.

I am really looking for any advice from people who might be in the situation of their other halves working away during the week and back at wkends. It would be 3 nights away one week, 4 nights the next. I just want some reassurance that it isn't going to be detrimental to dh/dd relationship.

Thanks alot in advance.

we have been doing this since November. I was much more keen on the idea than dh, because I didn't want to leave her. We live in Switzerland, dh got job in Milan, which is about 5 hours away. I did not/do not want to go to Milan. I had thought Mon-Fri wouldn't be that hard and envisaged this situation lasting about 2 years and felt it was fully feasible, possible spending school holidays together in Milan.

Anyway, It has turned out much much harder than I anticipated. The kids miss thier dad tremendously, even tho they skype most days, so actually see him while they talk to him. He's home every weekend. I feel the distance is really bad for our relationship. I could really see us drifting apart given a few months. Anyway, to cut a long story short, I have abandoned my plans, and we (the children and I) will move in the summer to Milan.

Some people have to do it, but I don't think it's a decision you should take lightly. I was absolutely sure it was what I wanted to do, I was totally convinced it would be more than fine, but a brilliant solution with a limited time scale to boot, but the consequence for your family and your relationship could be quite serious. I wish you well. It isn't easy either way. I wish I could stay in Switzerland. I still don't actaully want to move to Milan, but I recognise the detrimental effects on my children, the family as a whole and our relationship, so am prepared to do this.

Good luck.