To think some people on mumsnet are not from this world?

[AmICrazy1]

Or rather most people on mumsnet. I’m shocked very often of how people react. I’m half way through reading a thread that’s 9 pages long and I’m gobsmacked by some of the comments. Seriously people cannot be living in the same world as me. I’m not gonna say what thread as I don’t want to draw attention to the poor OP whose having a hard time. I keep reading the comments and shocked. It’s not even a huge thing it’s an everyday question she/he asked.

at least 3 or 4 threads a week seem to be like this more and more I would say recently. Does anyone else feel like this?

If you're talking about the thread where a woman has been pushed, hit and now near strangled by her partner and some idiot has said 'well, my husband used to do that a lot, but we've got past it and we're living happily ever after now, so you really don't have to leave him if you love him', YANBU.

But if it's more the bunfights over toilet brushes and whether you should leave somebody who smiles at a waitress, YABU.

well maybe you and the op of that thread are unusual and everyone else commenting saying the same stuff are the voice of reason?
I think people are bolder in what they post on here.. in British real life people tend to hold back (understandably).
Replies are also affected by how op worded their their op and what mentioned or forgot to mention. Sometimes there are language barriers or op's style causing a certain misunderstanding but if you as another reader have the same style or understand the language nuances you may take a different view. It's very frustrating when the op is vague such as yours though to make any meaningful discussion accurate.

Why does it matter? OP said she didn't want to draw attention to someone else's thread and rightly so! There's lots of threads tbh with what OP describes.

I think a lot of people use MN as a place to release pent up anger and frustration.

I agree with @SleepingStandingUp

I agree.

I also sometimes read threads with a massive face to the comments. But the more batshit the responses the more drawn in I get

I often think the first response to a thread can influence the following following replies.

You only have to read threads to see 2 similar threads will go down completely different routes.

I've been here about 15 years. It's got much worse in the last 5 or so. The competitive nastiness wasn't here. It's all over sm now like this. Probably as the more reasonable/ less hardened voices don't comment for fear of the more aggressive posters.

Context is everything.

There's no disputing that some people are absolutely batshit.

You're not wrong, OP.

For me, it can be summed up by the post where an OP's was very upset that her nasty brother in law has named his dog after her - literally called it exactly the same name as her.

Many, many posters telling her it's a compliment and to get over herself 🙈🙈

I'm not reading enough threads then. Or not enough meaty ones, contentious ones. I don't recognise what OP is talking about.

@C0mfyChairP0se : "but what emotionally healthy person wants to tell somebody that her problems are her own fault (or version of that judgement)"
I do that. Most peoples problems are often their own fault. We all make choices. Mostly, They made those choices so need to take personal responsibility for them. I don't see what your issue with that is.

I think there is just so much stumbling over whether a post was worded “right” or whether a question should even be asked. I think it’s symptomatic of public discourse becoming increasingly difficult. Instead of dealing with a question or comment posed by an OP poster rationally, posters can easily spiral into purity circles or attacking the OP’s character. Posters regularly compete to show how empathetic they are by tearing down an OP for not being empathetic enough.

I disagree quite a lot with posters, I don’t think I’ve ever criticised how a post has been worded, I may ask for clarification. I also don’t think OP means posters can’t disagree. I’ve seen perfectly reasonable pondering turn into war zones. It’s an utter shame really because questions that can bring to light different perspectives/experiences descend into a fight. it has echos of the whole culture war attitude, attack people instead of their arguments.

I find it quite refreshing to read peoples honest opinions and thought processes. Its taught me to be a better listener, read between the lines. Online people watching if you will.

I find it v annoying when people get hung up on linguistics AFTER the op has clarified what she meant.

No.
You only need to read the news, watch you tube, go on FB etc to clearly see the full range of human beings! From saintly to puppy murdering for likes and everything in between.

We each inhabit a miniscule piece of the world and tend to fill it with people like ourselves.

Doesn't mean the rest of the human race isn't out there, very different, very real

I find the aggression and hostility hard to understand sometimes. Someone can ask a perfectly innocuous question and a bunch of keyboard warriors will jump on them to say some version of "so you think you're better than everyone else? You sound like hard work, give your head a wobble." It's really tiresome and makes the site less enjoyable for sure.

There are still so many pockets of empathy and humour and brilliant advice though so I keep coming back!

I worry when an op is advised with some certainty to take a very absolute course of action based on the scantest, one-sided evidence.

I worry about the other people in op's life, who will be affected if op takes the mn advice.

I have seen people advised to LTB, go NC with family and so on and I often think - op could have MH issues or just be at fault in this situation, they themselves could be the mn-favourite 'narcissist' and here we are telling her to cut off a friend/partner/adult child who may be innocent.

Well there's no point telling somebody (eg) you shouldn't have bought in 2007/ had another baby with him / given him another chance / should have left already/ married him. They know they have a problem to solve, with no easy solutions. That's why they post.

I don't think I've seen you do a drive by '' you brought this on yourself'' kind of post @Oblomov22 could be wrong! I don't have a file on you.

recently I’ve felt that unless you post about a SAHM or about a partner cheating in AIBU you get very little response. People really only want the mega drama, the rest of the everyday topics which are still so important get very little response

It’s always been the way. The first few responses set the tone and people just post more and more OTT responses to try to get noticed. If you’re unlucky enough to get a count let of negative responses to start with, you’ve had it. Two threads about a similar thing can get two totally different responses.

People love a pile on. I would never post a sensitive question on AIBU 😂

@C0mfyChairP0se , no file? Phew!

But seriously, I disagree. No point telling them they shouldn't of ..... No, they do need telling. Most of them STILL can't see, because they don't have the emotional savviness to understand that they never should've married that twat. Most are so emotionally damaged, such low self esteem, that this hasn't actually dawned on them yet, or rather not truely sunk in.

Over the years I’ve noticed the site get more and more aggressive. I think new people join and follow in tone.

It's not just on Mumsnet.

I find MN'ers wierd. They are either incredibly intelligent or dim as fuck. Where are the middle ground people, normal, non anxiety ridden.

One minute I'm on a feminism thread re Maya Forstater, solicitors explaining it all to us idiots, non solicitors understanding complicated legal stuff. I'm thinking I'm out of my league here.

Then I jump to AIBU. Do I need to .... shall I go to the beach with a baby, last week in 40 degree hottest day in UK history. God, these people are stupid I think!

The whole point of anonymous posting is to allow people to give their honest opinions and sometimes harsh truths if the OP doesn't want that they might aswell just ask family and friends who will sugar-coat it for them

I think there’s always been a tendency towards aggression, to be honest.

But there were safe havens in years gone by - relationships would be generally supportive, as would parenting and SEN. Also, a lot of the aggression was at least informed and sometimes very funny.

My personal feeling is that a lot of posters try to replicate those sorts of replies but they are so far off the mark. What they think is biting sarcasm is actually just rude and stupid. So a post like DH keeps leaving the windows open during the day and I’ve talked to him about it and about how unsafe I feel and he agrees it’s wrong but then a week later does it again - help and the first reply is I don’t know OP, have you ever considered … talking to him about it and then replies come in like how does the OP manage to do anything in life if she has to come to MN about how to close a window and so on.

They aren’t funny and they aren’t remotely helpful. They are just spiteful and cruel.

Sometimes you do just strike lucky with a thread. I had one a while ago about DS sleep which was really helpful, not least because as well as practical advice it ‘allowed’ me to vent a bit about the impact poor sleep was having on me. But for the most part you do get responses that are curt and commanding in nature.