Friend having an affair

[Desperado99]

AIBU to cut off a friend for having an affair?

She had been married for several years - she started having an affair with someone from work (he was married and had just had a baby). The affair started between her first and second child.

She dragged us into it by telling us about it. I was friends with her husband. He got suspicious and understandably upset a year or so after it went on - although she never admitted to it - she just went on to have another baby.

My heart broke for her current husband as he is a lovely man - and it did not sit right with me attending events at his home with them both knowing full well what she was upto. She continues to play happy families on social media. I withdrew from the friendship.

I have not spoken to her in about a year. Never told her the reasons and in all fairness she never got in touch with me either. I did send her a nice message when her second child was born.

To play devils advocate I have no real idea her reasons to jump into another mans arms - particularly one who has just himself had a baby. His social media is very similar with family pictures. Its all a pantomime really that I did not want to take any part in.

AIBU

She did tell me - she said it started off with them being drunk and it continued from there - never any indicating that her husband was abusive but I appreciate you never know what is happening.

I know her husband through her but also worked with him seperately professionally for several years. He seems a decent man.

I have only known her 4/5 years when I stopped speaking to her. A few people at work had warned me she was an angry horrible person, one woman had warned her husband to not marry her - I thought it was all hearsay/jealousy at the time as she was very attractive so gave her benefit of the doubt. She is a queen bee type. Another woman warned me to not be friends as with as shes not a 'girls girl'.

Not being unreasonable at all.

Morals are important
I had a friend from high school. She married a good man (in our circles opinion) and had two kids with him. But then she lost weight and developed this massive ego and believed that every guy wanted to sleep with her. Even the parking attendant. She would take numbers and be messaging these guys on night shifts or nights out.
She would call me and say "if Andrew asks just tell him I was with you on Sunday...".
He never asked me thank God but I felt uncomfortable about having to lie.
I ended the friendship over that and other things.

I don’t condone affairs but what consenting adults are doing is none of your business. You’re over invested in her life, is yours not very exciting?

I would imagine someone who is too scared of an abusive husband to leave would not have the bottle to have an affair either. I might be wrong though.

Being asked to sit with her husband during social events and pretend I do not know she is making a fool of him is very much my business since she decided to tell me. And I refuse to participate.

How many posts do you see on here where a woman finds out about her husbands affair and everyone including their mutual friends know. She is left humiliated and destroyed.

You’re making it your business because you want drama. Just step away, it’s not your concern. Nobody is making you socialise with them. If you don’t like it you’re in control of how you react.

Its none of your business. To cut her off is playground behaviour, imo.

That’s exactly what the OP has done, though?

Yes she did and now she’s making a song and dance about it!?

There are more important things than what some describe as need

Says who? Just because YOU feel that way, it doesn't mean other people do. Why shouldn't one have their needs met?! If you're with someone who can't meet your needs, you're with the wrong person, simple! Too many people 'settle' - and then have affairs; depressing.