Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Lending the car out !!

76 replies

Moonchair1 · 26/07/2022 14:10

me and other half are 50/50 everything all one pot etc
we have a car each, when I got new I gave him my old one for work
(not old old and still very nice looking on the road)
last month his work mate asked to lend it to go fishing with lads I made a song and dance and said no il call the police to say it’s been stolen etc if he does.. so he didn’t but said I embarrassed him saying no.. I said in future it’s a no to things like that
anyway they just asked again to lend the car to go fishing I kicked off again and said no
AIBU ? please help me and other half are not agreeing on this

OP posts:
allboysherebutme · 26/07/2022 22:13

You gave him the car, it's now his, his choice. If he ends up with no car it's not your problem.
Personally I would not lend my car to anyone, but if my husband chose to it's up to him, he faces the consequences alone if there are any. I'm not his mum, he has to make his own choices. X

Original poster
Moonchair1 · 26/07/2022 22:59

He hates fishing so won’t go with them and our life is all one pot so if he does end up without a car then I am involved as he needs a job so we would have to share my car as if I’d just leave him to struggle and not get to work when we have bills and a 2 year old…. Anyway no need to reply to this thread again… the cars going NOWHERE

OP posts:
easyday · 26/07/2022 23:04

Is it his car or not?
Surely the guy borrowing the car has insurance? That would be a prerequisite.
But it's an odd request - why doesn't the guy just rent one?
And you either need to sign the car over to your partner or stop saying everything is 50/50.

baileys6904 · 26/07/2022 23:06

Well don't go through the fake palaver of caring what other people think then. No point in posting on a forum if you don't care on people's opinions.

And its clearly not his car and you've absolutely emasculated him. Poor bloke

Meraas · 26/07/2022 23:16

No way, stick to your guns OP.

girlmom21 · 26/07/2022 23:21

So everything's 50/50 unless it involves making a decision then it's 100% your call?

Meraas · 26/07/2022 23:24

girlmom21 · 26/07/2022 23:21

So everything's 50/50 unless it involves making a decision then it's 100% your call?

Everything is 50/50 so her OH should be grateful OP have him her car, especially as it sounds like neither OH or fishing friend will
fix the car if they damage it.

girlmom21 · 26/07/2022 23:31

@Meraas why should he be grateful he was 'given' a car that was already half his so that OP could have a new one Confused

Meraas · 26/07/2022 23:33

girlmom21 · 26/07/2022 23:31

@Meraas why should he be grateful he was 'given' a car that was already half his so that OP could have a new one Confused

I read it that the car was OP’s and she gave it to him when she bought herself a new one.

Else why should OP get a new car with family money and not OH?

Tryingtokeepgoing · 26/07/2022 23:37

Meraas · 26/07/2022 23:33

I read it that the car was OP’s and she gave it to him when she bought herself a new one.

Else why should OP get a new car with family money and not OH?

Show quote history

i think you mean when she bought a new car partly funded by money from the van he sold…! It sounds very much like the old was yours is mine and what’s mine is my own approach to sharing everything…somewhat controlling IMO

When my husband died I was left with 3 cars. I’ve happily lent one to friends and family when needed. As indeed we did when he was alive. Why would I not help out when I’m in a position to?

HollaHolla · 27/07/2022 00:08

I wouldn't lend my car to anyone who wasn't insured. My Mum and best mate are insured on mine, so if we go away anywhere together, they can drive it. I once loaned it to another good friend who had a family emergency (they would have been covered 3rd party), but I wouldn't make a habit of that.

Surely it's a matter of insurance, and if the friend can't afford to fix it, then they can't drive it, unfortunately.

randomusername02 · 27/07/2022 00:40

We have similar set up to you op, me and dp each have car that we think of as 50/50 ownership. There's no way I'd agree to a work colleague driving any of our cars. Close family maybe. You don't know how their driving is, how rough they will be on your car and most importantly, how are they insured. Its unlikely they will be fully comp to drive any car and most likely 3rd party only, so if they fuck your car or worse write it off, you won't get anything. Why would you risk that?

Tryingtokeepgoing · 27/07/2022 00:40

Oh yes, of course, we only lent it to people who were insured in their own right or who we’d added to our insurance :)

randomusername02 · 27/07/2022 00:42

Most people insured to drive any car is 3rd party only. So for all intents and purposes, if they are driving your car they might as well not being insured.

Hawkins001 · 27/07/2022 00:45

Moonchair1 · 26/07/2022 14:20

Thanks guys glad it’s not just me… just talking and saying no doesn’t work I need to up the craziness for this one
and yes we are 50/50 without going in to much detail both cars are actually mine and in my name
I bought a car 7 years ago he bought a van… then he sold his van as I needed a few grand tears this car so I gave him my (old) car for work instead

What about he can lend it, but anything happens and he replaces the damage ?

whowhatwerewhy · 27/07/2022 07:28

Op if they are both your cars I hope you have been truthfully with the insurance, I hope you have DP as main driver of the car he drives.

alnawire · 27/07/2022 08:44

The insurance issue is a non issue really. Anytime I have lent my car to someone I have just added them to my policy temporarily. It takes minutes to make the call to sort it out.

RewildingAmbridge · 27/07/2022 08:52

So he bought your old car from you and gave you cash you put towards your new car, the log book from the old car should've been transferred to him at that point, and as the car was bought by him it's his. Therefore up to him if he lends it to anyone. If anything happened to it during that loan or would be his issue with how he gets to work etc. However what are the chances his friend is going to write it off taking it fishing?

Wowwe · 27/07/2022 10:42

Oh wow! So he gave you money towards your new car from the sale of his van. Yabvu

He obviously needs to start calling the shots on your car too then

Shade17 · 27/07/2022 11:05

It's not really up to you what he does with his car is it? You gave him the car and so it’s his to decide what happens to it. As long as the guy sorts some temp fully comp insurance (which is pretty cheap) I don’t see the issue.

HappydaysArehere · 27/07/2022 11:12

Those blokes sound really cheeky. They get told “no” the first time and ask again. Sounds as if dh offered a lame excuse last time so didn’t sound as if it was an all time no. If they have it once they will assume they can have it again. No. No. No. I would be thinking damage, insurance and possible parking fines etc.

MistyBean · 27/07/2022 11:18

Gosh, that's a lot of drama. I agree that it's not really ideal lending cars. However, what I took from this thread is drama and poor communication. Lending a car isn't really your biggest issue.

KettrickenSmiled · 27/07/2022 11:38

You're not 50/50 though are you?

You say that you gave him your old car, but you haven't transferred to ownership documents to him & are insisting that you can veto his plans for what is described as "his car.

So does this car belong to him or not?
Why are you concerned about what he does with it, if you gave it to him without strings?

Bunty55 · 27/07/2022 11:41

Why let him have a car if it isn't his to do what he wants with it.

garlictwist · 27/07/2022 11:45

I often lend my car out to mates (provided they pay to be put on the insurance and the petrol). A few of them don't have cars and I don't use mine all the time so if they need it for something then I am happy for it to be used.

Swipe left for the next trending thread