To really struggle with this

[Hulahulas]

So I have a 5 and 2 year old and I find myself so bloody drained, my 5 year old does not stop talking and I have become disinterested to the point I just agree and half the time I am not even listening, my 2 year old DS is really full on too at the minute, I thought I was managing ok 😩 feel like I am drowning a bit at the minute and feel like I haven’t been the best mum when I lie in bed at night l, I really struggle with that.

In all honestly, 2 and 5 are pretty relentless ages in terms of how much input they need and how much they expect from you. Cut yourself some slack and lower your expectations, unless you're shouting at them 24/7 they won't be thinking you're a bad mum.

Are there any particular areas that are harder than others? It's difficult to give advice without more specific details but I do empathise, I've been there (had three under 5 at one point!) and I get that it can feel like a slog.

Oh yes, think everyone has these moments. Just do something really low key and fun tomorrow - like a carpet picnic, or a den in the lounge, or get the paddling pool out. Your kids love you. Sometimes just being good enough is good enough. Have a cup of tea and give yourself a break.

There is nothing wrong with telling your 5YO to be quiet. You can be polite but also tell them to stop talking.

My eldest still likes to monologue at me now and he's 9YO. He is autistic, so I do need to point it out to him when he's talking too much at me. 'I would like no talking for five minutes please!'

I just find it so hard to keep the conversations up with my 5 year old and deal with my 2 year old at the same time, I feel bad that sometimes I am not listening.

She literally does not stop! She is a different animal every 5 minutes and I forget which animal she said she was and then I get shouted at! Haha then I feel guilty 😢

Some five year olds can talk the hind legs off a donkey, mine is one of them. When I have had enough of her chuntering on I (gently) tell her "this is a lovely chat we're having but mummy needs a few minutes to herself, you go and play with your sand/colour in/watch some TV and we can chat again when I'm/your finished". I agree with a PP that there is nothing wrong with asking your 5yo to be quiet for a bit.

She even talks over DS’s crying 😂😂

I also use bribery - "if you go play quietly in the living room while I eat my breakfast/do the dishes/drink this cup of tea then afterwards we can <insert 5yo's activity of choice>". When I also had a toddler I used to use this on my older DC when trying to settle the 2yo for a nap - play quietly while your sibling drops off and then once she's asleep we can play together.

Does they take in their sleep? That's a sure fire sign of having too much to say

*talk

My 5yo is exhausting too OP. She talks non-stop so I can't have 5 mins break on my phone or tele coz she just constantly interrupts and she is unable to play alone, she constantly needs me to be watching her talking to her sitting with her it's relentless and I really don't know how to cope in the 6 weeks holiday. Every night when she goes to bed I promise I'll be better the next day but I can't seem to manage it. I feel like I'm a zombie who is touched out talked out and bored shitless

I feel like a bit of a shell at the
minute too, we are doing great! We got this! Maybe everybody goes through periods where they feel they are failing.

Your expectations are too high. You don't have to listen to everything, you'd go mad if you did!

I feel really drained and my head feels like mashed potato as I don’t think it can process it all.

Please do not beat yourself up over this.
Your post could have been written by every other parent out there.

Take an interest in your children but don’t be ashamed to switch off half way through their chatting.

I remember my DD would barely take a breath from the second she woke up to the second she went to sleep.
What makes me sad is she’s now a teen and I can barely get a couple of words out of her.

You’ve got quite a difficult age combo but it will get easier.
Just remember there’s no such thing as a perfect parent and as long as they are happy most of the time then you’re doing a fantastic job!

Firstly the five year old should not be shouting at you. Tell them off firmly and say you need some quiet .
It's attention seeking and annoying and you don't have to pander all the time . Or are you one of those saps that apologises to your kids if that shout at you?

No not at all, she doesn’t shout really just corrects me that she isn’t that animal she is this one and then I feel guilt that I haven’t listened.

My girls were like that. 23 and 16 and still exactly the same . When my eldest was little she would constantly ask me to talk to her like Hagrid from Harry Potter. It's exhausting lol. Girls are psychological warfare haha

I put myself in time out

@Bednobsbroomsticks that tickled me 😂😂😂

Hahah. Lasted two years. We've all been there hun
Look after yourself xxx

YANNNNNNNBU!

5 yo and 1.5 yo here, both girls, and my 5yo is RELENTLESS. She just never ever stops talking! I say to her now when I just can't any more "DD, mummy's head is FULL UP now. Give it a bit of time to go down." Works for about 2 minutes 😆

Don't feel bad. I am a full on crummy mummy some days, I get cross, I turn on the telly too much, the works. Poor old DD2 gets a much lower standard of service than DD1 did at the same age! I seemed to have endless patience then. Not so much now! I too have the thing of FINALLY getting everyone to bed and then lying awake thinking how much less of a mum I've been today than I wish, and how much better I have to do tomorrow 😕

But we love them and they love us. That's what matters. I think we feel guilty for the older ones particularly because we have put so much in up to now - the toddler seems to be taking so much away from them, but that's only because the standard was so (too?!) high in the first place.

Do your two play together at all? Mine have just begun alllmost playing together - there are one or two short little rituals they will enjoy doing together where I don't have to be involved, they both have fun and it's SO CUTE - when this happens I feel like I can see the light at the end of the tunnel to the time when they'll be a playmate to each other, or at least when I can deal with them both on broadly the same level instead of their needs being so wildly at odds most of the time.

Courage! Good enough (most of the time!) is good enough. We'll get there!

I also had 2 talkers. My go to phrase was "my head is full of chat. You need to be quiet while it empties" It worked reasonably well!

Do your two play together at all? Mine have just begun alllmost playing together - there are one or two short little rituals they will enjoy doing together where I don't have to be involved, they both have fun and it's SO CUTE - when this happens I feel like I can see the light at the end of the tunnel to the time when they'll be a playmate to each other, or at least when I can deal with them both on broadly the same level instead of their needs being so wildly at odds most of the time.

Although having said that I'm aware with a 4year age gap, if they pal up at all it will be for a max of about 4-5 years before DD1 becomes an angsty preteen and decides she wants nothing to do with a BABY anymore 😏

@MastieMum

haha, snap!