I'm a secondary school teacher, HoD in my subject, usually work 11 hours a day, and about 4-5 hours at the weekend. My fiancé does a desk-based job, working from home.
When we first started living together, he worked 10-6, four days a week in the office. Then we bought a house together 5 years ago, which was about the time I got my promotion to HoD, and he started to drop some of his hours, then started working from home and dropping more hours. This was gradual over a few years, and affected by Covid too.
Now he works about 10 hours a week, and so his earnings reflect that. It's meant that I have to pay a much greater proportion towards the mortgage and bills than him. He also has much lower standards in the house than me, so unless I do it myself, the cleaning just doesn't get done. Last summer, my dad was having treatment for cancer so I stayed with him for the 6 week holiday, and when I came home, my fiancé hadn't mopped, hoovered or cleaned the bathroom at all.
I'm so tired of being the 'parent' in the relationship, of having responsibility for EVERYTHING by myself. He says I nag him too much and that I'm no fun any more, but can't seem to understand how knackered I am, and that I'd be more fun if he ran a hoover around or put out the bins, or actually worked a bit more to pay his way, so it wasn't all on me.
I've said I can't continue like this... but then had a moment of worry that maybe I'm the problem and he wouldn't be like this if I was better at motivating him, or wasn't working so much. So... AIBU in being unhappy and wanting change?