Was This a Racist Comment?

[BlaseBalletDancer]

Name change as sensitive topic and don't want to minimise other people's much more serious experiences, but Mexican house thief, screaming at the Sistine Chapel, etc..

Anyway, I posted photos of me and a friend staying with me from overseas on FB. Tagged friend which means her friends can see the photos too. A relative of the friend made a rude comment underneath a photo of me only relating to me (in their own language but the meaning is clear - "looks like a monster" followed by several laughing emojis, its the same word in both languages"). I was shocked and deleted the comment as soon as I saw it. Not sure if friend saw it or not although it was up for about a day before I deleted it. A couple of days later, the same older male relative wrote another comment under a photo of me and the friend together which was not only rude but racist (think something derogatory about Asian people).

Somewhat ironically, I'm not Asian but I'm not tall and blond either like friend, although without blowing my own trumpet, I'm generally considered quite pleasant looking. I am aware that when tanned, my complexion can look quite dark but as far as I know, I'm white British descended from white British, although my grandmother was adopted and her parentage is unclear. I very occasionally get comments about being slightly "exotic" looking or similar. It doesn't matter anyway, the comment was meant to be rude and was also racist and derogatory.

Friend just posted a jokey non-committal reply under it. She could also have deleted the comment I think. For some reason, its really upset me. Friend considers herself very politically correct, non-racist, friendly towards outsiders, anti white privilege, etc but I'm a bit surprised she hasn't apologised. Its not possible that google translate got it wrong because I know friend from when I lived in the country and I also speak the language and one of the phrases used was a colloquial rude term in that language.

Am I over-reacting for being upset about this? Haven't said anything to friend yet. She's due to go home on Wednesday.

No, you are not over-reacting.

I'd be calling her up and asking her what she's playing at, laughing along with racist comments instead of taking her relative to task.

And un-tag her from every single picture so her twat relative can no longer see your pictures.

Take a screenshot first so she can't deny later that the racist comment was made, not her jokey response.

If you're not gonna post the comment I'm not sure if it's racist or not

The monster comment is very rude but not racist. The other comment, well it's impossible to tell without knowing what the comment was so it's a bit of an odd thread title. I can understand why you might be upset with your friend though if she didn't defend you. Talk to her about it.

We don’t know if the comment was racist, but either way there was already one rude comment, and that’s enough to question your friend about.

I'm a translator and let me just say that though google can be surprising good it can also get things very wrong

What were the comments?

No point posting a thread to get an opinion on something you are not prepared to state what it is you need an opinion on!

If you can speak (and write?) the language, can you not reply back that what they've said is unacceptable and very offensive?

They probably think you don't understand it, or the other one, and I'd want to make it very clear to them that you know exactly what they've said about you.

I'd also speak to your friend and tell her you're upset. She's not responsible for her arsehole relatives, but I think if my friend was upset by something a relative of mine had said, I'd want to comfort them at least!

What does "anti white privilege" mean...?

We obviously can't comment on the racist element as we have no idea what was said.
But I agree that you shouldn't rely too heavily on google translate.
Obviously the comments could have been racist, maybe try talking to your friend about this?

Definitely not over-reacting. Why would your friend allow a comment like that to stay on her page?

Being against white privileged

Comment in response to the offensive comment: "????????" "I don't understand this???" "What do you mean?" "[tag friend] can you explain please?"

Do you actually speak this language? Possibly something has been lost in translation e.g. what were you doing in the "monster" picture -was it the thing you were doing that was described as being a monster? Is there a second meaning of the word you don't know (e.g. describing something as "sick")

And typical MN, an OP is met with disbelief and minimising when she posts about racist behaviour.

Well it's hard to know without the comment but regardless it was rude!! A monster, really!

Screenshot it and send it to your friend and ask what is meant.. or message friend with faux concern "Oh friend, someone I don't know has left something racist on our photos, just letting you know so I can delete it and block them. Some people are disgusting!" and see how she responds.

Are you bothered by your friend not taking on the (misapplied) racism or are you bothered about being called Asian when you're not?

The relative sounds like an unpleasant dickhead though

It’s racist if he said something racist and derogatory about Asian people, but you’re white, so you’re not a victim of the racism, just of his rudeness.
Sounds like a horrible person, frankly.

If my friend didn't take the relative to task, I would challenge them (the relative) and if friend gets upset about me calling out their relative then I'd explain that they should have done it.

I'd probably just reply to the relative's comment calling them a bloody racist though.

It doesn't matter who the victim of racism is. It needs to be called out every single time.

I would just say “Racist comments on my feed? Please fuck off.”

Just an aside, people can be prosecuted for hate crimes/racial discrimination even if the victim isn't that protected characteristic. So even though OP is white doesn't make it any less racist - the accuser perceived her as that race.

I'd second this.

Never ever trust Google if you need nuance to fully understand as statement.

I can think of at least one language where 'monster' in context is actually a compliment (and that is assuming that 'monster' was indeed the right translation).

I agree!

Talk to your friend. This is not ok.

There are some staggeringly unflattering photos of me floating about. To be compared to a monster would be an insult to monsters.
I'm caucasian. Not sure monsters all share the same ethnicity.