Was This a Racist Comment?

[BlaseBalletDancer]

Name change as sensitive topic and don't want to minimise other people's much more serious experiences, but Mexican house thief, screaming at the Sistine Chapel, etc..

Anyway, I posted photos of me and a friend staying with me from overseas on FB. Tagged friend which means her friends can see the photos too. A relative of the friend made a rude comment underneath a photo of me only relating to me (in their own language but the meaning is clear - "looks like a monster" followed by several laughing emojis, its the same word in both languages"). I was shocked and deleted the comment as soon as I saw it. Not sure if friend saw it or not although it was up for about a day before I deleted it. A couple of days later, the same older male relative wrote another comment under a photo of me and the friend together which was not only rude but racist (think something derogatory about Asian people).

Somewhat ironically, I'm not Asian but I'm not tall and blond either like friend, although without blowing my own trumpet, I'm generally considered quite pleasant looking. I am aware that when tanned, my complexion can look quite dark but as far as I know, I'm white British descended from white British, although my grandmother was adopted and her parentage is unclear. I very occasionally get comments about being slightly "exotic" looking or similar. It doesn't matter anyway, the comment was meant to be rude and was also racist and derogatory.

Friend just posted a jokey non-committal reply under it. She could also have deleted the comment I think. For some reason, its really upset me. Friend considers herself very politically correct, non-racist, friendly towards outsiders, anti white privilege, etc but I'm a bit surprised she hasn't apologised. Its not possible that google translate got it wrong because I know friend from when I lived in the country and I also speak the language and one of the phrases used was a colloquial rude term in that language.

Am I over-reacting for being upset about this? Haven't said anything to friend yet. She's due to go home on Wednesday.

No where has OP said it was a Google translate? She could speak the language for all we know.

I’d comment ‘This is racist and I will now report you’

He shouldn’t get away with it.

In answer to a few questions:

• I am near fluent in the language, know the friend from when I lived there for a couple of years as a teenager and get every nuance in that language. I do not need a translator.

• The insult was "Already meeting the little native [insert derogatory term for Asians which I am not going to repeat here] of the UK". The term is extremely derogatory in that language. There is no way of misunderstanding it.

• While the first comment might have been some kind of bad joke/attention seeking, it is still very rude to refer to someone as a "monster" in that language. It was just a very, very odd comment. And the second comment seems deliberately designed to have been rude. Possibly because I removed the first one or didn't give the attention sought.

• The reference to google translate was purely because it appears automatically translated into English because my chosen language is English. Everyone can read it in English. The translation is just as racist as the original.

• I haven't deleted it yet as I want to show it to friend. When I have done so, I will delete it and block the author.

• The man who wrote it is unknown to me and a relative of friend. I am a bit flummoxed as to why a random man in another country is writing racist/rude comments under my photos.

• I looked at the page of the author of the remarks on FB and he appears to be in his late sixties, has lots of public posts, doesn't seem to be senile and has lots of photos of himself.

• I think the reason I am so upset about this (and I am really upset) is because it has brought back memories of my childhood when I did receive similar sort of remarks. Very subtle and clearly I don't look quite "foreign" enough to be overt about it but there is a very particular type of comment/commentator who seeks to remind you that you are "different" and don't quite fit in. I am possibly triggered because of this.

• I don't mind being told I look Asian, in fact I quite like it when its said kindly. Many of my friends are Asian and they also say it sometimes but in a nice way. But then again, I would be laughed at I think if I went around claiming to be part Asian even though my grandmother's ethnicity is a little bit of a mystery. As far as I know, she was British. Its sort of in the way that a few Northern Europeans just randomly look a little bit Asian sometimes, which isn't surprising really when you consider that Europe is the western edge of the Asian peninsula! I did once get told when visiting the US that I was "white passing" which was interesting! But the point is that not everyone fits into a nice little box for their appearance and I thought the days of commenting on it were gone.

• The comment is on both mine and my friend's page, as its under one of a series of photos I tagged her in.

• The visit has been mainly great otherwise, but I'm a bit hmmn that friend has just responded to the comment in the way she did. Knowing her, she avoids conflict and tends to minimise it. She has her 16 yo son with her and yesterday he called my house "ugly" and swore quite a lot and she didn't apologise (nor did he) but explained it away as "puberty issues". That doesn't bother me, he has been polite otherwise and as I say the visit has been extremely nice overall.

God that's awful! Very racist and rude.
Very casual "Oh is Racist Nutjob a relative of yours?"
"Ummm.. Yes"
"How horrible for you to have such a blatant racist in your family." A hard Paddington stare and let her fill the silence!

I personally would reply to him with an insult in his language and block, just because she is choosing not to call him out doesn't mean you don't have to! I'm South Asian and have heard it all

In the future whenever someone goes on and on about how anti-racist and anti white privilege they are tread carefully. In my experience they always are the ones who have something to hide.. also her son is well rude calling your house ugly! Bet you can't wait to see the back of them on Wednesday.

That is terrible. I'd call him out on it, it is quite clearly a racist comment.

Yes, you know how you can tell easily when something is meant to be racist?

I think he wouldn't expect me to understand his language and probably isn't aware that it even translates through google translate for other people. Possibly to do with his age group but thats not an excuse, he just thought he could get away with it.

I will reply in his own language with a suitably cutting remark once have pointed it out to friend. She has just come back from being out for the day and seems completely unaware of how bad it is. I can't let it go.

Otherwise, the visit has been great, but I'm really shocked.

And yes, isn't it often the people who talk the most virtue signalling talk who are the less likely to challenge actual racism close to home.