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AIBU?

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Original poster

So upset just need to tell someone

96 replies

cadburyegg · 25/07/2022 02:52

Shameless posting for traffic. I've had a bad day with my mental health today and couldn't sleep so went for a drive. I was going 30 in a 40mph zone and hit a cat that darted across the road.

I took it to the emergency vet who scanned for a chip and will let the owners know. I just got home. I'm so upset and feel so horrendously guilty I can't stop crying. I've just given my own cat a big hug. I feel so awful and guilty for going out in the first place. That poor cat and it's family SadSad

OP posts:
iloveeverykindofcat · 25/07/2022 06:45

Thank you for stopping OP and for taking it to a vet. Some horrible people don't bother. I love cats (hence username) but I'm afraid if you let them free roam that's a risk you take. I've lost a young lad that way - he couldn't be kept it, it sent him neurotic. That's partly why I have two senior spayed females now. They only go in a small enclosed garden area and have zero desire to go any further.

TabithaTittlemouse · 25/07/2022 06:52

@cadburyegg you did everything that you could. It’s sad but don’t be too hard on yourself.

TabithaTittlemouse · 25/07/2022 06:53

@JoolsHoneybee I’ve reported your post. It’s not helpful.

megacat · 25/07/2022 07:08

As someone who's cat was run over and left on the road, believe me the owners will be grateful you cared enough to take the cat to the vet.

SeaGlassShining · 25/07/2022 07:18

It was an accident, they happen.

If it was my cat, I’d be so grateful that you’d taken him to the vets, as it would mean that I knew what happened to him.

Be kind to yourself xx

Dibbydoos · 25/07/2022 07:22

I'm so sorry OP.

We all die, though. The way I see life is that we all have a time when we're born and a time when we die, it was this cats time to die. Really sad though nonetheless. Sending a big hug x

Thatsenoughnow · 25/07/2022 07:35

It's not your fault, you took it to the vet which is more than most people do.

If people let their cats out to wander, it's a risk they take.

GrinAndVomit · 25/07/2022 07:53

Please don’t feel guilty. You didn’t do anything wrong. You weren’t speeding. You took it to the vet.
I have two cats that I love dearly but I accept that part of their happiness is to allow them to go outside and the risk that comes with it. Just as we live our lives with an element of risk to n order to have freedom. As a cat owner, I’d be eternally grateful to you for bothering to take mine to the vet.

Sswhinesthebest · 25/07/2022 07:53

You know you didn’t do it deliberately, and you did all you could at the time , so now you have to forgive yourself.

It happened to me too. I was upset at the time for the cat, but I didn’t berate myself as it was an unfortunate accident.

recklessgran · 25/07/2022 07:54

Oh bless you OP. It was an accident and you are very sweet and kind that despite your own shock, upset and feelings your first thoughts were for the cat and it's owners. I really do commend you for taking it to the vets as you didn't have to. You went the extra mile and for sure the owners will be SO grateful to you. I hope you feel better soon.

FatEaredFuck · 25/07/2022 07:57

I just wanted to say what a kindness you did by taking it to the vet. You took the right steps to do the right thing Flowers

Allinadayswork80 · 25/07/2022 08:03

I completely reiterate what everyone has said on here, totally not your fault and there’s nothing more you could have done. You did the kind and right thing taking the cat to be identified.
Just a completely shitty way to finish off a shitty day and I’m so sorry for you. However I always try and look at things a different way as the universe has a funny way of doing things for a reason. Let’s say, for example, that you hadn’t gone for the drive, maybe another driver would have been in your place at that time instead, one without morals or a kind heart and who would have just driven on. The cat would still have been hit, but the owner never told and never able to grieve properly. I think you were supposed to be there and that’s shit for you but you were the one who did the right thing. Maybe the cat was meant to be there to stop you having a worse accident further down the road. We’ll never know. Sending my love 💞

TheLoftHatch · 25/07/2022 08:06

By taking the cat to the vet, you did a lovely thing! I'm guessing the cat didn't survive? If so, you've allowed the owner to know what happened and saved them weeks of potentially fretting about where their cat is.

I recently had a knock on the door and a chap asked me I knew who owned a little black and white cat as he'd just hit it and it had died. He was badly shaken up and I could see him going to every house on the street to ask. I eventually saw the owners run down to the road with him and then watched as they all carried the kitty back in a blanket. I thought the driver was thoroughly decent...it takes a lot of courage to go and do that.

You did good! ❤️

Emotionalsupportviper · 25/07/2022 08:08

romdowa · 25/07/2022 06:31

At least you brought it in. This time last year my dog ran and someone hit him with a car and took him home and kept him in a porch for nearly 2 days in a heat wave with a broken spine. They lived a 2 minute walk from the vet and I spent 2 days searching the area for my poor baby dog while 6 months pregnant. I'd have been so thankful if they'd at least took him to the vet. You've done all you can ❤❤

This is dreadful!

Your poor dog - what possesses someone to do a thing like this? I wonder of they were drunk/drugged when they hit him?

How did you find out? Did they finally realise they would have a dead animal to dispose of if they didn't do something? You must have been past yourself with worry.

Soubriquet · 25/07/2022 08:12

Whilst I would be heartbroken at my cat being killed, I would have been thankful you took her to the vets to be scanned for a chip.

People who leave the cat to suffer by the side of the road, or just dead, are worse

LammasEve · 25/07/2022 08:15

That's so sad, it's awful for you and the owners but it was an accident and cats do appear from nowhere sometimes. It's good that you took him to the vet rather than leave him there, so his owners know what happened. So many people would just drive off.

When one of ours was killed on a quiet, no through road, the driver left him in the road and drove round him - I heard the car stop then go up the pavement as I was coming out of our front door - they didn't even try to move him. I'll never forgive them for that.

stupidly · 25/07/2022 08:17

My cat is nuts and constantly escaping out of windows or climbing over the roof to get out the front. One day she will be knocked down. It won't be the drivers fault. She is very quick and they wouldn't be likely to stop in time. I will be so very sad but I won't blame the driver in any way. It's unlikely to be their fault.

Sorry it happened and that you're feeling crap.

MichelleScarn · 25/07/2022 08:34

Echoing everyone else @cadburyegg you did everything you could. Please be kind to yourself.

Opaljewel · 25/07/2022 08:34

As a cat owner myself, first and foremost. Thank you so much for taking the cat to the vet and helping the owners to know. So many people do hit and runs with cats.

And the biggest point of all, it's not your fault at all! Cats do and will run out. You did everything you could possibly do.

You've clearly got a huge hert and are very kind so please don't beat yourself up anymore. It's not like you set out to do it.

As a fellow animal lover, I would feel the same but my lovely you did nothing wrong. Be at peace.

Opaljewel · 25/07/2022 08:35

Heart* typo sorry.

CallOnMe · 25/07/2022 08:48

My cat got hit and killed by a car and what’s worse I think he did suffer which still breaks my heart to this day.

However, I’ve also had near misses with cats as they just dart in front of the car and there’s nothing you can do. So I would never blame the car driver.

Thank you for getting out and taking it to the vet.
As PPs have said many people just drive on but sometimes the cat runs away after being hit and then dies.
I know I hit a bird once and I got out and looked but it was no where to be seen.

Please don’t feel guilty about something that’s not your fault.

Viviennemary · 25/07/2022 08:55

It would have been no different at 30 mph. You did the right thing taking it to the vet. I agree you have done all you can.

User737382747374 · 25/07/2022 09:03

you did the right thing taking the cat to the vets. As sad as it is, this does happen when cats roam, it was not your fault.

I hit a cat once. I was driving on a busy A road at about 50mph on a single carriage way just before a double carriage way. Cat ran into the road from other side of road. It avoided the car coming opposite way to me straight into the path of my car. I slammed on the breaks (which was risky for me on such a busy road tbh) so didn't hit at speed, it hit my bumper and ran off into the hedge into the neighbouring field. I stopped the car but there was massive lorry coming up towards me and I had a child (not my own) in the car so I couldn't go in the hedge looking for it. I hope it got home but who knows. It was before social media times so couldn't put anything on any local pages! I broke my heart but there really wasn't much I could do do otherwise!

DangerouslyBored · 25/07/2022 09:03

It wasn’t your fault and you did the kind and decent thing and took the cat to the vet. Thank you from a crazy animal lover for doing that. Many don’t bother and the owners never know what happened to their moggy.

I live rurally and have seen many animals killed by cars, it’s so sad but I really wish people wouldn’t let their cats out if they live near a road. I know the argument is that a cat needs freedom but if that is the case, don’t own a cat and live near a road.

lurchermummy · 25/07/2022 09:07

We had a cat that got run over and the one thing that really hurt was that the person who did it drove away without stopping. It was the people in the car behind who stopped and took her to the vets to be scanned.

So sorry this happened to you, but it was an accident, you weren't speeding and cats do have a habit of running out into the road.

Please be kind to yourself I know that you did the right thing.

The owners will be grateful to you for that even if they are sad about the loss of the cat.