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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Stooped to her level of ridiculousness

40 replies

Anxiousanddramatic · 24/07/2022 00:45

Went to Tesco this evening, needed some teething bits for my 4 month old and some bananas for my 3 year old so was a quick in and out stop.. just before I ran in I parked up and gave my 4 month old a quick bottle feed before I took her in (no pram just carried her as I was only going to be a minute) walking through the car park a woman started giving me weird looks while she was having a conversation with her partner, I caught snippets of the conversation like "disgraceful" "police should be around" "it's disgusting" nosy old me started looking around to see what she was talking about.. couldn't figure it out so I carried on until she turn around looked straight at me and said "you should be ashamed of yourself" then she sort of hurried off
I was so shocked didn't know what she was talking about so just ignored her and carried on my business
Happened to bump into her in a few isles followed by more muttering and snide comments on her part
I realised for what she was saying "under her breath" she thought I didn't have a car seat for my baby and she also said something along the lines of me being a bad person for taking a newborn out to a supermarket..
I ignored her because it's a load of rubbish obviously maybe she had seen me feeding and just to a crazy conclusion and my DD is small for a 4 month old so she's often confused as newborn
Like I said I kept my cool ignored her and carried on my business
Once I was loading my shopping into my car she walked past me again and started shouting and swearing saying she's gonna call the police on me and she has my car reg and all that rubbish at this point I lost it a bit
I started having a go back took the car seat out the car to show her she's mad
I even shouted at her that my baby is 4 months not a new born and if I want to take her to a supermarket that's my business
The worst part is she had a baby with her probably about 6 months ish so not far off from my babies ago
I feel bad now for losing my temper and shouting back and basically giving her what she wanted, a reaction
Anyway
Aibu for reacting?
Should I have just ignored her?
Had this sort of thing happened to any of you before?
A few years ago a neighbour told me very rudely that I should strap my child in his car seat properly and then walked off
I went young to see what he meant basically my son was strapped in perfectly fine it was just the long excess straps that was trapped in my car door
I always regretted not telling him to mind his own business
Why do people feel the need to judge or comment on things that they have no clue about I'm so fed up with it

OP posts:
Anxiousanddramatic · 24/07/2022 00:48

Dear god so many spelling mistakes 🤦‍♀️ sorry but you get what I'm saying I'm sure

OP posts:
TeapotTitties · 24/07/2022 00:48

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

GrazingSheep · 24/07/2022 00:50

@TeapotTitties
Totally.

Missisipihallelujah · 24/07/2022 00:53

Good for you for standing up for yourself. She just wouldn't let it go. Sometimes, it is really difficult to ignore idiots and their rantings.

Pickanameforme · 24/07/2022 00:54

Yeah it's so scary bottle feeding in public 🤣🤣🤣

Anxiousanddramatic · 24/07/2022 00:56

I wish this was made up as "unbelievable" as it sounds
It's true
I think maybe because she saw me climb out the car holding the baby she assumed I didn't have a car seat? I don't know
I live in a small town and I've heard of silly things like this happening but it's never happened to me especially over something so ridiculous

OP posts:
Bigwetdog · 24/07/2022 01:11

Why do you give a fuck what these weirdos think?

Anxiousanddramatic · 24/07/2022 01:18

I don't, I didn't... I'm not sure
It just felt so stupid and she was acting so crazy and over the top
It's hard not to react or feel a type of way

OP posts:
Bigwetdog · 24/07/2022 01:18

Why did you feel stupid?

EL8888 · 24/07/2022 01:21

YANBU. She sounds bat shit

Anxiousanddramatic · 24/07/2022 01:26

"It felt stupid" the situation not me
She was sort of stalking me around the supermarket making comments and then in the car park shouting at me about being selfish for not putting my baby in a car seat and for bringing her to a shop
I'm just wondering if I'm gonna get a visit from the police or not tomorrow

OP posts:
Missisipihallelujah · 24/07/2022 01:28

Anxiousanddramatic · 24/07/2022 01:26

"It felt stupid" the situation not me
She was sort of stalking me around the supermarket making comments and then in the car park shouting at me about being selfish for not putting my baby in a car seat and for bringing her to a shop
I'm just wondering if I'm gonna get a visit from the police or not tomorrow

The police won't be visiting. The bully was put back in her box. Big mouths, like her, are all full of hot air.

dropthevipers · 24/07/2022 01:34

Anxiousanddramatic · 24/07/2022 01:26

"It felt stupid" the situation not me
She was sort of stalking me around the supermarket making comments and then in the car park shouting at me about being selfish for not putting my baby in a car seat and for bringing her to a shop
I'm just wondering if I'm gonna get a visit from the police or not tomorrow

Not unless you were putting stickers up everywhere.

Sarahzb · 24/07/2022 01:43

Really, calm yourself. Someone with mental health problems. Let them be.

Missisipihallelujah · 24/07/2022 01:53

Sarahzb · 24/07/2022 01:43

Really, calm yourself. Someone with mental health problems. Let them be.

It was the other person who wouldn't let the OP be! Shame SHE couldnt have calmed herself. MH being used as an excuse again.

MarshaMelrose · 24/07/2022 02:07

I once had a raging row with someone in Asda carpark over him littering. His wife and his friend had to get between us. His friend loked really worried and told me not to wind him up. Honestly, I was past any caring about personal safety.

It was mad that I got into that situation really. I know I was in the right so I don't have a problem with that but he could have done me real damage. (And when I've had other set-tos, it often leaves me with a 'soiled' feeling.) Plus other shoppers were tutting at us. At me! And he was the litterer. And I had to circle back and go move the car in case he came out and vandalised it.
So although sometimes it might be better to just not say anything, if we don't stand up for what's right, the world will just keep on getting worse. Won't it?

Anxiousanddramatic · 24/07/2022 02:20

Exactly I felt ridiculous for giving in and retaliating 🤦‍♀️ especially felt guilty for losing my temper when I had my baby with me
Definitely a little disappointed in myself
That's not how I carry myself and I would never dream of acting like that in front of my small baby
I keep thinking what if the woman (who was being super aggressive) tried to become physical? What would I have done ?
Luckily when I finally opened my mouth she seemed to pipe down a bit but I just felt stupid for encouraging the argument I guess

OP posts:
GlendaSugarbeanIsJudgingYou · 24/07/2022 02:36

She was a dick. Don't feel bad about yourself.

Whenever I'm shopping I barely notice anyone else unless it's to let them past or get out of their way.

Imagine being her?

GlendaSugarbeanIsJudgingYou · 24/07/2022 02:40

Also, people like that never contact the police so don't worry.

Even if she did the police would roll their eyes.

MayMi · 24/07/2022 02:55

You didn't stoop to her level at all. You managed to keep your cool after being harassed multiple times, and when she finally threatened you with the police you felt the need to stand up for yourself vocally. You did nothing wrong, she's a batshit bitch 🙌🏻

MayMi · 24/07/2022 02:58

Anxiousanddramatic · 24/07/2022 02:20

Exactly I felt ridiculous for giving in and retaliating 🤦‍♀️ especially felt guilty for losing my temper when I had my baby with me
Definitely a little disappointed in myself
That's not how I carry myself and I would never dream of acting like that in front of my small baby
I keep thinking what if the woman (who was being super aggressive) tried to become physical? What would I have done ?
Luckily when I finally opened my mouth she seemed to pipe down a bit but I just felt stupid for encouraging the argument I guess

Often bullies/people like her stop when you say something, some people just like to try their luck harassing others just to feel a bit of power. Honestly no need to feel bad about yourself here, you did well 🙌🏻

SizzlingInTheBakingHeat · 24/07/2022 03:10

I have 3 kids, I called at the supermarket on the way home from the hospital with 2 of them (one born during peak covid) is there a rule against taking a newborn to the shop 🤔🤣? Until you said she had a 6 month old I assumed she was maybe infertile and maybe having some strange reaction to a baby, but clearly not, maybe she's just unhinged who knows? I'd have 100% told her the same, I have no time for interfering people like this. You did nothing wrong.

Thirdsummerofourdiscontent · 24/07/2022 03:42

She is unhinged and deserved to be set straight. She gets off public shaming people, if she was really that worried she should have just called the police straight away.

Anxiousanddramatic · 24/07/2022 03:46

She had a baby girl and a little boy around 7/8 ish
So I don't understand what her problem was
I said to her I have 2 kids so I know what I'm doing I can take my baby to a supermarket if I want and she shouted that she has 4 kids
I have a 3 year old and a 4 month old
I love my kids more than my own life and try to make sure they're taken care of and safe at all times
I know it's hard to not judge someone these days sometime I find myself being a little judgemental of people but I try to rein my thoughts in
I just feel like this woman embarrassed me
Made me feel like an idiot
Triggered my long term anxiety
Over fuck all
Thank you all for understanding
And all your comments are taken in consideration

OP posts:
HinchcliffeandMurgatroyd · 24/07/2022 03:52

Next time just stick to withering looks. She was clearly a head case.

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