Stooped to her level of ridiculousness

[Anxiousanddramatic]

Went to Tesco this evening, needed some teething bits for my 4 month old and some bananas for my 3 year old so was a quick in and out stop.. just before I ran in I parked up and gave my 4 month old a quick bottle feed before I took her in (no pram just carried her as I was only going to be a minute) walking through the car park a woman started giving me weird looks while she was having a conversation with her partner, I caught snippets of the conversation like "disgraceful" "police should be around" "it's disgusting" nosy old me started looking around to see what she was talking about.. couldn't figure it out so I carried on until she turn around looked straight at me and said "you should be ashamed of yourself" then she sort of hurried off
I was so shocked didn't know what she was talking about so just ignored her and carried on my business
Happened to bump into her in a few isles followed by more muttering and snide comments on her part
I realised for what she was saying "under her breath" she thought I didn't have a car seat for my baby and she also said something along the lines of me being a bad person for taking a newborn out to a supermarket..
I ignored her because it's a load of rubbish obviously maybe she had seen me feeding and just to a crazy conclusion and my DD is small for a 4 month old so she's often confused as newborn
Like I said I kept my cool ignored her and carried on my business
Once I was loading my shopping into my car she walked past me again and started shouting and swearing saying she's gonna call the police on me and she has my car reg and all that rubbish at this point I lost it a bit
I started having a go back took the car seat out the car to show her she's mad
I even shouted at her that my baby is 4 months not a new born and if I want to take her to a supermarket that's my business
The worst part is she had a baby with her probably about 6 months ish so not far off from my babies ago
I feel bad now for losing my temper and shouting back and basically giving her what she wanted, a reaction
Anyway
Aibu for reacting?
Should I have just ignored her?
Had this sort of thing happened to any of you before?
A few years ago a neighbour told me very rudely that I should strap my child in his car seat properly and then walked off
I went young to see what he meant basically my son was strapped in perfectly fine it was just the long excess straps that was trapped in my car door
I always regretted not telling him to mind his own business
Why do people feel the need to judge or comment on things that they have no clue about I'm so fed up with it

It's definitely not you, it's her. I think the PP who said some people like to put others down to make themselves feel more powerful was spot on. She probably thought she could pick on you because you had a young baby so would be feeling more vulnerable. Try not to get upset about it after the fact though. But it's fine to argue back at the time so she doesn't trample all over your boundaries.

That’s really odd of the woman to treat you that way 🤨 sounds like she has dementia or something 🤷‍♀️

Honestly next time just say FUCK OFF and don’t engage after that
She sounds mental.

I do completely sympathise, OP.When you've just had a child you re in a more vulnerable place than before, and when I had babies/young children I found it was a time when random people stuck their oar in a lot more than before and feel they need to judge you.

You do develop a thicker skin as they get older.

It was things like: telling me my baby needed feeding/was tired, opinions on how I was feeding them, opinions on their being in a sling, how I had parked the car (in a perfectly normal way in a legal place), because I was talking to the baby, because I wasn't talking to the baby, that apparently I was an irresponsible teenage single mother (I was 29 and married), what I was eating, what i was drinking...I could go on.

It brings out all the bullies, nutters, people who like telling young women off to make themselves feel better, judgemental twats and people who can't keep their unwarranted, unasked for opinion to themselves.

I was with a friend once when a woman started shouting at her that she was disgusting for having her 8 year old in a pram and she should make him fucking walk.

It was a wheelchair pram because he can't walk and it should have been perfectly obvious.

sadly neither my friend nor I had the presence of mind to tell her to mind her own fucking business and instead my friend dissolved into tears.

There are twats out there and on occasion we sadly encounter them.

Two separate people have raised concerns about how you are carrying you child in the car. Worth assessing whether there is something there about the safety of the car seat.

You were in the right.
She was in the wrong.
She verbally attacked you.
You verbally defended yourself.
End of story.
Enjoy your Sunday.
😎

@Why2why
Ah thanks I'll definitely make sure next time when I'm parked up I'll force my screaming 4 month old to sit in her car seat while I feed her purely because people are nosy and stupid 🙄
I know exactly how to fasted my childrens car seats and I would never dream of driving while one of them is not buckled in properly
Thank you for your concern

Fasten*

The straps really need not to be caught in the door so I can understand the concern there. The door would do nothing to stop them if they got hooked on something while you were driving and I can see that ending horribly.

She sounds loopy.

@QuestionableMouse
It was about a inch of the strap stuck in the door
Not enough to cause issue and usually I am more careful especially since the incident
Again thank you for your concern

Sorry, really not trying to make you feel bad, but even an inch of strap shouldn't be hanging out of the door.

My child is a tween now but I still remember the ridiculous comments and judgements I got when he was a baby. I would not entertain it now. Just ignore comments by idiots like her.

It sounds like you need Isofix. I'm amazed it's still legal to use seats that don't use Isofix bases