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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sister in law driving uninsured my husbands car

108 replies

Hann111 · 23/07/2022 23:54

We had one of his family members weddings - 3 hours away. We left late and on the way back my sister in law took over driving on his vehicle - motorway driving and gone midnight. She's not insured on his car and I'm pregnant. I'm annoyed that my husband left the wedding so late that he then got his uninsured sister in law to drive his car half of the way. AIBU? Thanks

OP posts:
RewildingAmbridge · 23/07/2022 23:55

Is she not fully comp on her own car? If she is its likely she's issued to drive any other insured vehicle in accordance with her licence (ie no hgvs etc)

RewildingAmbridge · 23/07/2022 23:55

Insured

Original poster
Hann111 · 23/07/2022 23:57

Thank you @RewildingAmbridge - I’m not sure but perhaps she is fully comp. i didn’t know this rule and they don’t seem to either and we’re both saying she’s not insured on this car and were both very chilled about it

OP posts:
BobMortimersPocketMeat · 23/07/2022 23:57

Many insurance policies cover you to drive a vehicle loaned to you, without you needing to be a named driver: it’s usually only third party cover, but you’re still insured to drive. So she might have been (and probably was) covered by her own insurance policy.

Kite22 · 24/07/2022 00:19

If she isn't insured, then she was being absolutely stupid and irresponsible to drive without insurance but as has been said, most policy holders are able to drive another car on their own policy. I know I can.

Gingersay · 24/07/2022 00:27

If she has her own car it's more than likely she's insured 3rd party. Couldn't you take over?

Original poster
Hann111 · 24/07/2022 00:27

I guess my point is they stated she was Not insured and they were fine with it, despite me not feeling comfortable being in that car.

I can only go by what they’ve said and cannot scrutinise her policy on her other car.

OP posts:
Original poster
Hann111 · 24/07/2022 00:29

I offered and they said no. My husband wanted his sister to drive (because I was tired)

OP posts:
Reigateforever · 24/07/2022 00:31

i was worried about my DD BF driving my fully comp car, my insurance company put my mind at rest by saying, if he had a driving license it was covered.

Gingersay · 24/07/2022 00:32

Why did you let her drive if she's not insured then moan about it? You facilitated her breaking the law.

Reigateforever · 24/07/2022 00:33

But that was my case

QuestionableMouse · 24/07/2022 00:38

I think you're being a tiny bit precious, sorry.

Assuming she has a full clean driving licence then her not being insured doesn't make her any less safe than any other qualified driver.

Yes, she's breaking the law by not having cover but that doesn't instantly make her a reckless, unsafe driver.

Original poster
Hann111 · 24/07/2022 00:58

Sadly she was driving 60 down a 50 road being unfamiliar with the route - I was in the back and I had to tell her it was a 50 road not a 60 road.

OP posts:
Original poster
Hann111 · 24/07/2022 01:00

@Gingersay - I wasn’t included in the discussion - I was asleep in the back and they got out at a service stop. When we were driving the car away I realised she was driving it.

OP posts:
HeddaGarbled · 24/07/2022 01:04

Her not being a named driver on the policy doesn’t make her a dangerous driver, so I don’t know why you were “not comfortable being in that car”.

As PPs have said, she’ll be covered legally to drive other vehicles under her own insurance. The risk was financial loss in the event of an accident, not that she was more likely to have an accident.

Original poster
Hann111 · 24/07/2022 01:06

@Gingersay - yes you’re right as I should have got them to stop the car right there before we got into motorway for an hour drive as I wasn’t comfortable with it breaking the law as that’s all what we thought was happening …. I didn’t as to be honest I was half asleep, didn’t know if I was being unreasonable as pregnant too atm so my mind was a bit scrambled - I raised my concerns and they were almost laughed off by both.

also as we left the wedding I told my husband I was bleeding again and no real understanding of this also by him then he lets this happen with the driving. I know this is separate but I’m probably also upset about this and his lack of care here.

(note: she doesn’t know im pregnant yet as I’m first trimester)

OP posts:
HeddaGarbled · 24/07/2022 01:09

Plus “motorway driving gone midnight” is probably the easiest and safest driving you can get.

HeddaGarbled · 24/07/2022 01:14

From the RAC:

‘In 2020, the majority of casualties occurred on built-up urban roads. However, the majority of fatalities occurred on rural roads’

Motorways are statistically very safe. Empty night-time motorways even better.

PeekabooAtTheZoo · 24/07/2022 01:23

What’s the deeper issue that’s bothering you here? Not being listened to? The fact your DH seems to have different values to you at a time when you would hope to be on the same page? The fear of losing the baby in an accident? The fact he’s been potentially irresponsible when he’s going to be a dad soon? Dig into it and try and find the thing beneath this reaction so you know where your feelings about this are really coming from.

Original poster
Hann111 · 24/07/2022 01:55

It was country road too - she was doing 60 on a 50 country road which I pointed out

OP posts:
TheLovleyChebbyMcGee · 24/07/2022 02:05

No I don't see this as being a big deal. Most people are fully comp and as long as there isn't a massive back story then I'd trust my DH's judgement to trust his own sister.

In fact if my SIL was questioning my driving if I was driving her home late at night whil she slept I'd be swiftly pulling over and going to sleep myself instead. You aren't coming over a nice person here I'm afraid OP.

CandyLeBonBon · 24/07/2022 02:09

I'm confused. Your husband left the wedding early and you were annoyed, but you were also asleep? Yep

MarshaMelrose · 24/07/2022 02:15

Unless of course it was a medical, life or death emergency...
No one uninsured drives my car
No one who doesn't know if they're uninsured drives my car.
I'm confident that's pretty standard amongst my friends.

MandSStoreManager · 24/07/2022 02:15

Hann111 · 24/07/2022 00:58

Sadly she was driving 60 down a 50 road being unfamiliar with the route - I was in the back and I had to tell her it was a 50 road not a 60 road.

So you thought distracting her and back seat driving would be safer?!

Autumnalblooms · 24/07/2022 02:18

OP I think reading between the lines it is a case of a lot of little things building up and then one thing is the final straw. Your hormones are all over the place which doesn't help. With the bleeding I would ring 111 for advice even if Is just to put your mind at rest 💐.

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