To think this post sex comment wasn’t that bad?

[Bananababana]

So, I was recently seeing a guy for 4-5 months. I wanted to take it slowly so we didn’t sleep together although there was lots of banter about how good it would be when the time came.

Then the time came, he really was insistent on going down on me which I allowed for a minute or two. Then intercourse lasted seconds and he finished, I didn’t.

He then joked ‘you owe me a bj’ and I said ‘you owe me an orgasm first’

Then we never spoke again?

aibu to think this is strange

You're well out of it.

Sounds like crap sex. What a shame. I wouldn't give him a second thought.

Nothing but applause here 👏

What do you mean well out of it?

Not unreasonable at all- wasn’t he very good at oral? I’d have made sure I orgasmed through that first. But he’s clearly a bit shit in bed and doesn’t like that being pointed out. Oh well, should put in more effort mate.

Well, it wasn't really a joke was it?

Sounds like you didn't have good sex made an offhand comment about it. He was offended and it hit a nerve for him. Doesn't seem like a massive loss? If you want to meet again then you need message him and ask if he wanted to meet again.

Urgh - him treating it all like a transaction (saying you owe him) is yuck. You’re well out of it = you’re better off without him.

Blimey. I'd suggest not seeing each other not such a bad thing? Sounds as if the sex was crap and you weren't on the same wavelength.

You allowed it for a minute or two?

You hit a nerve with that comment but good on you ! Nothing worse than a man going around thinking he's really good in bed and that you owe him a bj. 🤢🤮

It sounds like too much banter and not enough communication. You should have told him what you needed to orgasm. He's obviously thought the oral would do it. He's then carried on with the banter and suddenly neither of you have known if it was a joke or not. It depends on if you think it's worth rectifying.

Ha well done, he was shit in bed he won't get better as he thinks he's amazing for giving you 2 mins if head (with the expectation of you returning it). You've saved yore self a few weeks of shit sex before it fizzled out anyway

That must have been a let down.

He started the stupid comments with saying you owed a BJ. (I'd probably be thinking of dumping him anyway for such a ridiculous comment/mindset).

I think your response was pretty good actually.

At least you know what he's like before you get too far into the relationship.

I am a tad gobsmacked at the 'you allowed it?' comment. Are women not permitted to have any say in the sex they have?

OP - you met a man for whom sex is a transaction. Sadly he was also a man with little experience or care in women's sex. So his transaction was always going to being sided.

Forget him. Life's too short.

I once slept with a guy, nothing special. Afterwards I picked up my phone, he asked if I was texting to tell my friends about it? I said yes, and asked him how to spell ‘mediocre’.

I was joking of course. I know how to spell it.

Yoj said you never spoke again which makes it sound like you've seen sense and dumped him? Well out if it means like, good riddance, you're better off without him.

Unless you meant you didn't talk the rest of the night but you're still seeing him, in which case, are you mad?

And the "insisting" on sexual acts you clearly don't want is a big red flag. I'd be saying that without his crap comments.

You shouldn't have to tell him that, though. He should know. That's why she was in bed with him.

Sorry, I see what you mean. No, we’ve never spoken again - it’s been a while now.

LOL 'you owe me an orgasm first' is the best thing I've heard all day!

Did you try to contact him after and he didn't respond or did you just never contact each other again after?

@MrsGarethSouthgate 🤣 that’s the best comment I’ve read in ages!

Neither of us messaged after the night ended. I did see him in a shared lift after a night out and we just acted like strangers.

It's not weird at all to not talk to someone again after bad sex. You probably both understood that it wasn't good and moved on. No need to communicate.

Do you regret spending 4 months before finding out he was shit in bed?
I always road test them early for this reason but curious whether it feels like a waste or not.

And what's with the 'allowing' of oral?

I regret the whole thing 😂 not just because of the sex but I was in a low place and he’s got issues.