To think this post sex comment wasn’t that bad?

[Bananababana]

So, I was recently seeing a guy for 4-5 months. I wanted to take it slowly so we didn’t sleep together although there was lots of banter about how good it would be when the time came.

Then the time came, he really was insistent on going down on me which I allowed for a minute or two. Then intercourse lasted seconds and he finished, I didn’t.

He then joked ‘you owe me a bj’ and I said ‘you owe me an orgasm first’

Then we never spoke again?

aibu to think this is strange

What’s with the “allowing” oral sex for a minute or two? If you don’t like it, don’t do it.

But ugh to the “owing” comment! If you had quite a jokey relationship, and you previously flirted about BJs so he knew you were keen, and the oral sex had been good for you… I can see a scenario where it’s just a fun comment. But not the one you described!

It was a pretty horrible comment - you were essentially saying he was a crap lover - but, to be fair, he wasn't actually any good, he was pushy about doing something you didn't really want him to do, and he clearly didn't check you were satisfied. So, horrible... but justified.

I imagine he never spoke to you again because you delivered a home truth. Those hurt the most.

You dodged a bullet,he sounds awful

He knew full well that oral sex is something I don’t wish to take part in.

So my comment saying he owes me an orgasm was hurtful?

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

Allow me to congratulate you on the bullet you just dodged.

Of course, it was. You pointed out his failures as a lover.

I'm not saying you weren't justified in pointing it out - I'm not saying he didn't deserve it - but surely you can see it was a blow to his ego?

I think your reply was perfect!

Ha. I like your comeback.

You wounded his desperately fragile male pride, fuck him.

Insisting and pushing women into sexual acts they don't want is hurtful and then acting like they have done you a favour by doing something you didn't want is and he knew you didn't like it hurtful. If he doesn't want his shitty behaviour commented then he should listen to the women he is intimate with.

He sounds like a bloke my friend used to see for a while, she didn't like oral and he'd be all "you just haven't had it with the right man yet" "you just need to relax and you'll love it" "if you've let other men do it with you why not me? Don't you like me more than them?" "You can't say you don't like it with me if you haven't tried it with me" and she'd said he'd keep moving his down there and be like "shhhh relax " if she tried to shift positions or pull his head back up so she ended up letting him for a few mins and then he had the cheek to act all hurt when she said she didn't like it.

He'd do the same with lube, he'd be all "you don't need that with me" and she'd said he'd

She was also in a very low place and put up with him a lot longer than she would have if she had her full mental health. You did great to bin him and I wouldn't give him another though.

Thought*

Brava!

I am a tad gobsmacked at the 'you allowed it?' comment. Are women not permitted to have any say in the sex they have?

She did have a say. She decided to let him do it. "He just assumed" is not having a say.

He told a less than funny joke. Ok. I'm not sure why everyone is applauding the retort though. It sounds like it was just a joke not an oral contract.

Is everyone here a goddess in the bedroom then? A crude joke doesn't really warrant a 'home truth'. And if, op, you really thought he was being serious, you wouldn't be worried that he's gone.

It's over now, anyway, so just move on

Hahaha I love your response!!

Like why do you keep shagging someone who you think is so crap at it? And then be mean in return? Like just end it, honestly

I voted YABU because I don’t think it’s strange for people to stop seeing each other when sex has been a complete disaster.

Fuck him... not literally of course and congrats on a fabulous comeback. Block

Love it!

From me too!

Well the comment hurt his feelings but I think it was perfect 😂