About strange myths that permeate MN about other countries and cultures

[Wetsummers]

Does anyone else know what I mean - in particular about ‘Africa.’ I’m not claiming to be an expert on African culture or social norms but I’m pretty sure the ‘African tribes’ often referred to on here are a myth.

See also the insistence that we start children at school too early. Pretty sure most 4/5 year olds are in some form of education / kindergarten or whatever.

And you can’t open a thread on sleep without someone confidently stating the Japanese all co sleep.

I'm an American living in the US and what I see on MN is a number of Brits who either live here or have lived here downplaying the abortion and healthcare and abortion issues. The impression I have is that most of them have experience living in or near to prosperous cities in the US. Boston, Chicago, LA, NY or nearby suburbs. Those areas tend to be more liberal about those issues. Massachusetts is one of the smallest and most liberal states in the country, their gun laws are an outlier compared to the rest of the US and may be subject to change due to the SCOTUS Bruen ruling. There are more states seeking to criminalize abortion than there are states which have codified it and those that have codified it are subject to having such laws repealed because overturning Roe means that there is no longer federal protection for a woman's right to privacy regarding her own body.

Not everyone who votes republican is a backwoods hick, but everyone who is a backwoods hick votes republican. That's how they stay in power. And all republican politicians toe the party line re: gun laws, abortion, and usually healthcare.

It's not my intent to hijack this thread to talk about US politics but I do find it strange how many mumsnetters seem to work it into threads that women can just go to another state or that the gun violence is not a big deal.

Gun violence is absolutely a big deal in the very liberal USA city I live in. Despite guns being harder to buy here. Other states locally have laxer laws but fewer gun issues. Overall I do think it is an American issue.

But my abortion rights are actually much stronger than they were in the UK. Although currently in reality it is straightforward to access an abortion in the UK, other than in NI. The actual laws are stronger in my State.

I understand that in all the States I'm bordered by abortion is much harder or impossible to access.
But it is a State by State issue not a country issue.

I know someone who is 100% convinced that the father your child they is LEGALLY OBLIGATED to house you until the child is 18. They are so convinced that now other people are also convinced the father of your child is LEGALLY OBLIGATED to house you until the child is 18.

This is despite it not happening for them when they split with the father of their child and no one made the dad house them until the child turned 18.

The birth rate would drop right down if men thought they’d have to pay for a house for 18 years, vasectomy rates would increase.

Genuine question if you are English in Scotland how would anyone know you're English unless you announce it given many Scots have names like 'James Smith' and speak with an English accent?

I announce it by speaking in an English accent when Scottish people are, for the vast vast overwhelming majority, speaking with Scottish accents. I'm not walking around condoning the poll tax, wearing a Conservative rosette, or wearing an England football shirt whilst banging on about '66 if that's what the implication here is!

I've got a fairly simple British name, I never get asked how to spell it, hospitals, GP, government stuff. I'd actually find it really weird to be asked to spell my three letter first name that follows all phonetic rules. I can't even think of another way you could spell it. Very occasionally someone will say "Smith, S M I T H?" (my name isn't Smith but another straightforward 5 letter name.)

As for journalists my children were featured on local TV and several national newspapers, they both have a first name with alternative spellings and they did check the first names but not the surname, again it would be hard to imagine an alternative spelling.

I lived in England for a few years and can confirm that anti-Scottish remarks are commonplace, also resolute refusal to understand anything said in a Scottish accent and ignorant questions about the weather and availability of electricity, tv and other modern conveniences. Not defending my fellow Scots if they are rude to other nationalities, but it very much goes both ways.

South europeans restaurant owners are all waiting to adopt your children and laugh and sing folk songs while your child sets their face on fire while the evil british will just tut while you sing and dance the whole of the sound of music through a restaurant.

It definitely does.

That may be so about american lifestyle (and you are exaggerating, the US has insane wealth inequality), you still couldnt pay me to live there.

Especially if they own a dog. A dog shoots and kills on average one American every year.

It’s not uncommon in the US. Over half a million go bankrupt every year due to hospital bills and two-thirds of these are due to a one time incident.

Americans struggle the most with medical debt compared to people from other countries.
Every year 530,000 American families file for bankruptcy due to medical bills.
US medical bills and indebtedness are responsible for 66.5% of all American personal insolvencies.
On average, Americans spend about $10,000 a year on healthcare costs.
66% of all medical debt in the US comes from one-time medical issues.
Most US citizens with medical debt owe between $2,500 and $5,000.
balancingeverything.com/medical-bankruptcies-statistics/

I lived in England for a few years and can confirm that anti-Scottish remarks are commonplace, also resolute refusal to understand anything said in a Scottish accent and ignorant questions about the weather and availability of electricity, tv and other modern conveniences. Not defending my fellow Scots if they are rude to other nationalities, but it very much goes both ways.

I have also experienced this in England. It does go both ways. The reason we are discussing this is that a couple of posters have denied there's any anti -English xenophobia in Scotland though when very many of us have observed or experienced it.

I agree about the nonsense spouted about “Europeans” loving children. Yes, they will be grinning like maniacs if you are in their restaurant, but cursing your free-range offspring behind your back.

Plus not all Italians spend all day eating Dolmio etc all laughing in a multi-generational group with nonna beaming around.

Generalising, MNetters think that all Europeans are wonderful, laid-back liberal people and all Americans are gun-toting, burger-chomping rednecks.

I heard an american say we dont have REAL doctors in the NHS.

As if they are just like school 'nurses' we go to to get a plaster or damp paper towel off lol.

I have a standard English name with different spelling variants and few people ask me how I spell mine, they just use whichever they are most used to.

How perfect the fucking French are

I think it's irrelevant whether the person being abused is actually English or not. They are being abused because they are perceived to be English.

In the same way as a straight man could have suffered homophobic abuse because the assumption was that he is gay.

Well some of you may think it’s nonsense that children are more tolerated particularly in Southern European countries but it’s totally true. They’re always welcome and cherished by most people, even when they are annoying or noisy or throwing a tantrum. People in general are more tolerant and indulgent of young kids than in GB. Total Truth if you’re going to generalise about cultures. Yes there’s always exceptions that prove the rule.

I didn’t appreciate it till I had my own children here in GB and all the stupid rules that go with it. It’s also true that although children go to school from a young age it’s to play and socialise and there’s absolutely no expectations of learning to read before 6 yo. Conversely it’s also true that repeating a school year if they’re not ready to move on is not uncommon or carries any shame whereas here they need to have a SEN assessment.

My mother (when she visited us) became quite upset by the attitudes of random people. She observed to me often how seemingly “uncaring” people seemed to be to children and young families. I used to excuse it by saying it was traditional British reserve but the truth is I could never relax as I did when back in my home country or other Southern European countries. I also lived in NL for a few years and they were very relaxed compared to GB but have no experience living in any other Northern European country to comment.

It’s just a vibe that’s hard to explain.This is now 25 years ago as my kids are now adults but it was true when they were little. Maybe things have changed in the last 2 decades?

It is a myth that abortion rights are stronger in the US than in the UK and it's a right wing talking point that mumsnetters seem to be really eager to repeat.

If you compare gestational limits in some states, it would appear that rights are stronger in some US states until you consider the fact that women in the UK have the right to have their terminations on the NHS. In the US, women pay out of pocket. Late terminations are especially expensive. A termination at twenty weeks is in the ten thousand dollar range, if you can find a clinic. You don't have the right to have it done but you may be allowed to go pay for one yourself.

Later term gestational limits are meant to be applied to medical treatments women are permitted to receive. Not the right to go get an abortion. So, think treatment for cancer that might harm a fetus or onset of pre-eclampsia or removal of an incomplete miscarriage. In some states where abortion is illegal, so is certain medical care.

If French people use bidets, it's for washing their smalls.
However, I live in another continental country and in toilets frequented by many Muslims there is a jug in the toilet. I've seen that in the UK as well. It's not a myth that many people in the world use water rather than paper (and not just Muslims obviously, that was just an example of the demographics in my local area).

"Well some of you may think it’s nonsense that children are more tolerated particularly in Southern European countries but it’s totally true. They’re always welcome and cherished by most people"

People taking children out with them, even past midnight, isn't necessarily because the children are cherished.
I remember being in a Portuguese bar (in a country not Portugal) with children stuck among cigarette smoke until midnight. It was disgusting.

"My mother (when she visited us) became quite upset by the attitudes of random people. She observed to me often how seemingly “uncaring” people seemed to be to children and young families."

Can you give examples?

They're not perfect, but it seems you have a problem with them?

Don't know about on MN but in England that the Irish are all heavy drinkers. Total disbelief that I'm teetotal, I've had so much grief at work do's that in the end I said I was a recovering alcoholic and it was irresponsible to ply my with drink. That found that totally believable.

It's your round.