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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Furious with my partner!

26 replies

Charlize43 · 22/07/2022 22:42

Our neighbour is a 74 year old-ish unmarried woman with no family who often looks after our cat when we go away. I'm furious with my partner who asked her what was going to happen to her house after the dies. It seems tactless to me and worst of all I'm worried now that she'll think that we are after it. She can be quite cutting and judgemental about all the other neighbours.

Am I being unreasonable to be angry at how tactless and idiotic my partner is?

It seems a impolite thing to ask, as it really is none of our business.

What are your thoughts?

OP posts:
SurfBox · 22/07/2022 23:04

YANBU,totally inappropriate question. What did she say? And yes she will think you two are after it now.

HollowTalk · 22/07/2022 23:08

Of course it's none of your business but why on earth did your partner think she would answer that question? Did he think that she would leave it to him?!

Suzi888 · 23/07/2022 04:37

How embarrassing, I’d go mental. You’ll be the talk of the neighbourhood.
What the hell was your partner thinking😳

garlictwist · 23/07/2022 05:41

That's very rude. And 74 isn't even that old. She could well have another ten plus years to go

MrsToothyBitch · 23/07/2022 07:09

I would be furious.

And yes, early 70s isn't particularly old these days. My mum looks nowhere near her age and if anyone asked her a question like this, we'd both be cross.

Herejustforthisone · 23/07/2022 07:12

Your partner sounds unbelievably stupid.

SmellyToilet · 23/07/2022 07:16

I had an ex who would say shit like this. We had an elderly neighbour and she confided in us that she was having heart trouble and had been told the next incident would probably be her last. Ex replied “oh god I hope we don’t get a load of chavs moving into your house” 😱

dudsville · 23/07/2022 07:17

I only ticked YABU because your partner isn't an extension of yourself. He was curious, he asked. Like you, I also would not have asked, but I understand the curioisty, and I think it woudl have made me laugh if my partner said he'd done this!

LuckyLil · 23/07/2022 07:54

Context. How do we know it wasn't her that started that particular line of conversation?

Darbs76 · 23/07/2022 07:56

Wow he actually asked her that? Yes she definitely will think you’re after her money. What a tactless and insensitive thing to do

KrisAkabusi · 23/07/2022 08:17

It makes a huge difference on whether he walked up to her out of the blue and asked, or if it was part of a greater conversation. Anyone voting so far is doing so on very incomplete information.

Ontomatopea · 23/07/2022 08:28

Was it part of a wider conversation?

Dic · 23/07/2022 09:40

Does he want to buy it?

LampLighter414 · 23/07/2022 10:31

YABU if she has no family it’s reasonable to ask if you are in some way close.

Anyway your post is extremely unclear. Did he see her and say “hi, what will happen to your house when your die?” or was it part of a much wider conversation about family etc? I suspect the latter. She may have even brought the topic up herself.

Did your partner report back that she had given an answer? If so, she probably wasn’t even bothered about the question.

Grow up.

Motnight · 23/07/2022 10:38

Dic · 23/07/2022 09:40

Does he want to buy it?

Sounds more like he wants to be given it 🤣

Bunty55 · 23/07/2022 11:06

I am guessing this is a reverse?

Badgirlgonegood · 23/07/2022 11:07

Context is needed here, like did he just outright ask her what will happen or were they chatting in general about her passing and the house?

lunar1 · 23/07/2022 11:08

I'd be absolutely mortified.

Andromachehadabadday · 23/07/2022 11:10

were you involved in the conversation? What is the context?

wether it’s rude or not depends on the context.

and I think ‘furious’ is a bit on an over reaction, tbh. If dp was furious at me because he thought I shouldn’t have asked to question I would tell him to get his head out of his arse.

TeachesOfPeaches · 23/07/2022 11:12

It's a reasonable question if she has no family. Perhaps the neighbour was talking about it first.

RewildingAmbridge · 23/07/2022 11:14

It depends on context our neighbour is in her eighties, we had a party in the next Street a few weeks ago and it was so loud until the early hours. I said to her we're so lucky to have you as a neighbour, DS adores you and you're so quiet! She said she yes but I won't be here forever (she's recently been hospitalised). I said to her not to talk like that she's got plenty of years left in her yet and then made a joke of her needing to be around because we couldn't cope with neighbours like the party house and we dint know who her house would end up going to! It was a way of lightening the situation a bit as I know she's concerned about her health.

TabithaTittlemouse · 23/07/2022 11:15

Did he just knock on the door and ask or was it part of a conversation?

girlmom21 · 23/07/2022 11:16

I'd assume there was a conversation and he didn't just ask her outright...

pinkyredrose · 23/07/2022 11:16

garlictwist · 23/07/2022 05:41

That's very rude. And 74 isn't even that old. She could well have another ten plus years to go

Or 25 plus!

OP UANBU! Why the hell would he do that!

Original poster
Charlize43 · 23/07/2022 17:29

I wasn't there so I don't know what the context was. It was recounted to me.

It's still none of our business and totally tactless thing to ask. She's a neighbour not a family member.

OP posts: