What do you think of people who use SM if you don’t?

[JuniorTiger]

I was chatting to my friend earlier and we were talking about social media. She cannot understand why anyone would post personal information of any nature / pictures of either themselves or their children on a social media platform claiming that people only do this to reach a much wider audience and need attention. She said pics and personal information should just be for WhatsApp group chats.

She said it makes her cringe that people are so self important they actually believe their SM ‘friends’ are interested in the details of their life. She was then laughing at all the people who go to restaurants and take a picture of their food to post online.

She went on to say how fake it all is and sad that so many people must need attention and self validation, also naive that because people ‘like’ their posts they must be their ‘friend’.

she was then scoffing at the people who air their dirty laundry on FB and saying how pathetic it was and that it was like the guests on ‘Jeremy Kyle’.

I was a little taken aback but then thought maybe she does have a fair point? So I wondered if people who don’t use social media share this view?

I can’t stand Facebook. It’s full of people clumsily impersonating celebrities and super jet life styles. Or the anti-everything groups who are always angry. Others use it like a sticker chart to announce each tiny little progress they made.

But I am forced into using Facebook messenger to keep up with hobby groups. Why can’t we just do a WhatsApp group for updates?
I have to add certain stranger (coach/trainer/leader) as a friend and tolerate their incessant humble bragging. Can’t even ignore as there is inevitably some essential information buried amongst all the crap.

I use social media to obtain information useful to me, which is become increasingly difficult nowadays.

Instagram is full of self important, brain dead wannabees

I like to see people post life updates (e.g. engagement announcements, pictures of their cat) but I hate it when a particular Facebook friend posts multiple pictures of her kids in their school uniform and checks into wherever they are going for the day.

I've actually seen a few influencers starting to refuse to share their kids' names and pictures of their faces on their socials and honestly it makes a lot of sense - they can't consent to it and also it's a bit dangerous (particularly if they're a very popular, bordering on celebrity influencer).

Only for people who have public social media profiles! My FB and Instagram profiles are friends only, and all my friends on there are people I know in real life. I’m fairly confident that none of them are planing to burgle my house while I’m away.

Save with the OP’s friend commenting about ‘criminal gangs’ using social media to find out about people’s lives and routines 🙄 Again, only applies to people with public profiles, and most normal people have the social media set to friends only.

If I meet someone and they mention Facebook/Instagram/TikTok etc. I have a resigned sensation - 'Yet another person who is not like me'.

I don't touch it and never have but I'm in a small minority, I'd guess 90% of people have one or more of the main ones eg Facebook, Twitter, Tiktok and Instagram.

I don't think it's been a good thing in general for society, one of the significant downsides of the introduction of the internet.

(And to poster up above, Mumsnet is not social media, it's a forum. They're not the same thing.)

I don’t use SM at all, but what other people do is up to them.
I do agree that it should not be allowed to post photos of children thoug.

I was on social media for years. I took a break 7 years ago and never went back to it. You get a bit swallowed up in all that bullshit but that's what the majority of it is, bullshit!

Not everyone posts their whole lives on it and it does have some pros but mostly cons. I don't think poorly of anyone who uses it, I think your friend is being a tad judgemental but I do give an eye roll when I hear of anyone posting their dirty laundry on there and tagging themselves everywhere they go when people really couldn't give two shiny shites what they are doing.

My FB is only open to friends. I'm pretty sure no one at all outside this relatively small circle cares about anything in my life and me theirs.

I just hate all the hypocrisy and attention seeking that goes on SM....

It's terrible for bullying, humiliation and mocking people.

It's today's answer to the pillory.

You don't know who they could tell though. Best to put your pics up if you need to when your home.

I agree with your friend. MN is the only SM I use - no FB etc. I think it has made people self obsessed and wonder why some people think their mundane little lives are interesting enough that other people want to read a running commentary with endless selfies.

It’s depressing that being an effluencer is even a thing a person can do. It’s hard to say which is worse, being one or willingly being a recipient of the effluent.

It's terrible for bullying, humiliation and mocking people

Sounds a bit like some corners of MN tbh 😂

😂I’m going to assume you’re joking with that ridiculous comment about ‘you don’t know who your FB friends could tell about your holiday’ because if you’re not, it makes you look stupid, quite frankly.

While it’s plausible that one of my FB friends could mention to someone else ‘EllieQ is on holiday this week, they’ve gone to Spain, lucky them, I can’t wait for our holiday’ - that kind of thing, it is really fucking unlikely that the person they speak to:

• Knows my address


• Is a criminal who is on the lookout for empty houses to burgle

What kind of people do you and your friends hang around with??

Who gives a shit what your friend or anyone on mnet thinks.

• I don't understand people who don't want to travel.

• I don't understand people who don't want to educate themselves.

• I don't understand why people don't read books every day.

• I really don't understand the popularity of Snapchat.

But you know what? I don't need to understand, everyone is different!

So what if someone wants to take a picture of their dinner?

Fuck sake your friend sounds judgemental and and nasty. Is she generally a negative person?

I don’t really recognise the descriptions some of you give of SM.
It depends who you follow. On insta I don’t follow any posing influencer types and my feed is full of craft, talented artists, gardening tips - the house decor ones are the only ones showing-off, but I like to see nice houses.
My own profile is private so only actual friends and family see it. It is what you make of it. I mostly post my cats or my vegetable patch?
My teen son also has insta because he likes to follow football players and clubs, but isn’t allowed to post. His feed is just full of fball speculation/opinions.
I’ve never seen bullying, self indulgence or ignorance that I can recall. If I did, I’d unfollow. Simple really.

Some pp are on a very high horse! I am busy living real life too, but every few days I have a sit down a flick through the “magazine” that is SM.

I like your friend's style.

Im not on Fb Twitter Insta or any of that cannon fodder.

my life is immeasurably the richer, the happier and the more meaningful for that absence. And I have a lot more time to live a real life, rather than a fake one.

I use forums but I don't post my life on SM and TBH don't use it other than once added my name to it to access others info and soon deleted the account as it was just as the OP's friend stated

SM causes so many fallouts and over things, you would not fallout over if you spoke to the other

When people live their lives on SM, steer clear of them as they are IMO ticking time bombs, EG, why did you not say my pics were nice, ignore me, posted your similar pics, left me out of pics, put in pic someone I don't like, buy the same dog as me, showing off, etc etc. Avoid at all costs IMO.

Knows my address
Is a criminal who is on the lookout for empty houses to burgle

perhaps not you, but in general, people who overshare on social media tend to be scarily ignorant about how cybercrime works and therefore underestimates what it takes for their account security to be compromised, their data to be triangulated across multiple SM platforms and the repercussions of that.

just like people who happily post with alacrity on MN thread "what is your Grandfather's name" "What is your salary and your job title" etc etc. Harvesting data is a multi-faceted activity and people think meh this is an anonymous forum. Until Bang! The site gets hacked.

I feel exactly the same as your friend. I also think it's sad that people aren't just enjoying their lives, spending times with their friends and families, enjoying eating out or being on holiday, and that they spend (sometimes a large part of their time) posing for and taking photos specifically to upload them onto social media. It strikes me as utterly narcissistic. But narcissism seems to be the norm these days.

There are different ways to use social media. Accounts can be set to private so that only friends can see them. I have under 100 friends, all people I know and like, on both Instagram and Facebook. I have friends all over the UK plus abroad and I like that it’s a way to share photos or updates. I don’t post often but when I’ve been abroad sometimes stated the odd picture or might share big news like graduating uni etc rather than tell everyone individually. The majority of friends I have who share photos of their kids also have private accounts with only friends added and only post photos occasionally.

I do have a few friends with public Instagram pages, they’re also the ones who are posting daily or close to. I have one who only posts selfies of himself and another who posts at least daily updates of her kids and is always showcasing her kids using products/ toys and tagging in the brands in the hope of free stuff. I do find those kinds of pages a bit cringey and have those friends muted so I don’t have to see the endless updates but each to their own really.

Does it matter how people use social media?I have had a facebook account for over 12 years ,I never post anything personal on it ,I use it mainly for support groups ,but if someone wants to post every detail of their life on social media who cares,just scroll down.