What do you think of people who use SM if you don’t?

[JuniorTiger]

I was chatting to my friend earlier and we were talking about social media. She cannot understand why anyone would post personal information of any nature / pictures of either themselves or their children on a social media platform claiming that people only do this to reach a much wider audience and need attention. She said pics and personal information should just be for WhatsApp group chats.

She said it makes her cringe that people are so self important they actually believe their SM ‘friends’ are interested in the details of their life. She was then laughing at all the people who go to restaurants and take a picture of their food to post online.

She went on to say how fake it all is and sad that so many people must need attention and self validation, also naive that because people ‘like’ their posts they must be their ‘friend’.

she was then scoffing at the people who air their dirty laundry on FB and saying how pathetic it was and that it was like the guests on ‘Jeremy Kyle’.

I was a little taken aback but then thought maybe she does have a fair point? So I wondered if people who don’t use social media share this view?

*. She said pics and personal information should just be for WhatsApp group chats.

She said it makes her cringe that people are so self important they actually believe their SM ‘friends’ are interested in the details of their life*

Yeah, she is just moving it off sites to the whatsapp group. It's actually very much the same if people use SM just with friends and family, except that on SM they can at least ignore some posts😂 not on forced what's app group😂

Nobody will look back on their life and think hours performing semi-fiction on social media was a good use of their time on Earth.

Posting pictures of children isn't a good idea.
I'm sort of stuck with fb as my relatives use it to communicate.
I have to laugh at some holiday photos. They aren't just holiday photos, they involve flowing gowns and a bunch of posed things.

Its her opinion. I find that like most things it takes a bit of practice to get the most out of it, but a lot of people dont invest any time in honing.

I think it’s possible to have a healthy relationship with social media.

However, generally speaking, I’ve noticed that the more people post on SM, the more unhappy and insecure they seem to be in real life.

I have no social media accounts, and I never have. (MN is an anonymous forum, and my profile is not linked to my real identity). I’m not on FB, Instagram, tick tock etc at all. I have a Twitter account under a false name which I use to follow news outlets & senior journalists but I don’t tweet myself and have no followers.

I don’t profess to be an expert on SM, obviously, but from what I have seen of it, the biggest problem with it is that idiots were allowed access to it. I did once look through my local area’s FB pages and they were a moronic semi-literate cesspit of ignorance, racism and personal abuse. I don’t feel I am missing out on much.

Your friend sounds a bit insecure tbh. I don’t use SM, I quit it all together almost 2 years ago after I got totally out of hand using Instagram. Never really been into Facebook, I was a fan of MySpace in my teens and Facebook never really did it for me. I honestly have zilch opinion on it, most people use it and I really don’t care. There’s certainly annoying attention seeking behaviours on there but I don’t have to see it anymore so it doesn’t affect me at all 🤷🏻‍♀️.

Your friend is like a vegan who just can’t quite understand why anyone else wouldn’t want to be a vegan. In other words, she’s annoying as fuck.

Your friend sounds like one of those annoying superior know it alls.

I don’t use any personal SM such as instagram or Facebook

some of my reasons:

• personally I am quite sensitive and was spending too much time worrying about things on there, such as seeing close friends tagging each other, wondering why I hadn’t been invited etc. I switched it off 6 years ago after spotting someone (not very subtly) being nasty about me and a friend. My only emotion was mild relief that I had chosen to opt out.
• I have teenage girls and like pp I have concerns about the pressure they are under to post so much on sm. I think it is unhelpful for many of our dcs especially in terms of emotional and mental well being.
• I find it sad that some people seem to prioritise sm over ‘real life’ - if your honeymoon/holiday/anniversary dinner is so special, why not focus on the event instead of updates and photos?!
• I find some people’s constant sharing rather self absorbed. Makes me cringe sometimes.
• I find it sad that at events (such as parties, concerts etc) a significant number of people won’t be in the moment enjoying it but will be filming, updating etc. this may include the tagging people who would rather not be tagged, or at times posting unflattering photos that friends would rather they didn’t.
• yes also agree with pp point about children - not so much paedophiles but more so the dcs lack of consent to agree to parents posting so much.
• I find it undignified and inappropriate at times when some people seem in a rush to post about events, even when it might be insensitive or not really their place to do so.e.g. Posting about a death or birth. Oh and sometimes this is the only announcement so you may not find out till later (or ever!) …if you are not on sm you quickly find out that some friends cba to update you personally. Up to them entirely of course.

My mum is the same as your friend - she is 78 just can't get her head around it
I must admit l see their point about it being superficial.
But it can be a conversation starter if you have put something on and bump into someone you are friends with.
Like everything- if you have a healthy balance it can be a good thing - l helped a lady who had fallen over last week and am friends with her daughter on fb so was able to contact her- would never have her phone number so it was handy.

Oh one of those “I don’t use social media because I’m far too superior to engage in anything that any other mere mortal does”.

Alternatively there are people who aren’t interested in it but then don’t really have opinions about those who do use it because they just don’t care. The latter type being more my type of person.

The former being a self obsessed twat when without SM.

Haha yeah! Weirdos

But who has a public Facebook account? Almost nobody. Everyone on my Facebook has a private account. Only their family and friends can see it. In my case I have about 30 family members and fewer friends. I could put up details of when I was going on holidays if I wanted as they all know when I'm going anyway. I could put up pictures of my DC as they all know what they look like anyway.

Grooming gangs can only see pictures if they are public or if you accept friend requests from all and sundry. All of these issues are only issues of you sharing information with the internet. If you have a small private account and you want to show your aunties and close friends a few pictures of your DC taking their first steps I don't really see what the problem is.

DH has never had SM (he doesn't even have a phone). I have Facebook. He thinks people who use SM are incredibly stupid for sharing photos etc and he wishes I didn't use it, but I have no 'real life' friends and no family so it's my only contact with the outside world via groups related to my interests, so I can't really give it up. I don't share photos or statuses anymore though.

Pffft... oh well, I guess I'm no better. I have a kind of <rolls eyes> towards people who display palpable horror at facebook accounts. They all have no idea what they are talking about. And with only one exception(*), it's their own form of attention-seeking when they take a superior attitude about it.

(*) Exception = someone who was frightened off of SM by repeated work lectures about how easy it was to post something embarrassing or be conned out of your money or get a terrible virus on computer.

My Facebook is full of relatives, social meet up groups, and local gossip. I am happy for people sharing their good news. My twitter feed is full of humour, science & news. Instagram is a handful of old contacts posting silly or pretty pictures. MN is unique in being the only often-toxic SM place I come to.

I was pregnant and gave birth during the pandemic! I don't post what I'm doing every minute of every day on my stories but I did post questions/articles about just having a baby/politics (nice mix haha). In a time when I felt really isolated, it connected me with people I hadn't spoken to for years! I've had fantastic chats and conversations and widen my social pool! Facebook groups have been a godsend, when I was a new mum during lockdown. Social media isn't for everyone but it can have its positives.

I’ve never used social media much, I have a few times but it’s just not something I’m personally interested. I wouldn’t judge others or look down on them for using it though

It's beyond me why people think that others would be remotely interested in their lives

I enjoy both posting and seeing social media posts so I like it when people use it! Lot of my friends do, a lot don't. I like them all!

I sort of agree with her - it’s all a bit “look at meee”. And basically there are very few people who really care (and you’d presumably tell them anyway). So you’re basically just announcing details of your life to all and sundry and, because social media doesn’t apply the filters you would in normal conversation, you need to be aware that by doing so you’ve likely as not pissed some of those people off in the process.

Your friend sounds a bit self important herself looking down her nose and SM users 🤷‍♀️

but la dee da

I always think as well that a lot of people who are lovely in real life are mega annoying on social media.

I use FB purely for groups and events. Haven't posted anything on my profile in about 5 years. Parts of what your friend has said definitely resonate with me, I find it sad that we seem to live in a society where we're encouraged to seek constant validation from others and only present either the amazing things or the utterly crappy things that happen to us. I used to have a friend who would genuinely delete any post of hers that didn't get enough 'likes' and it would really affect her.

I don't go on social media because I can't be bothered to make the time for it tbh. I used to do Twitter. I've never done Facebook. I do WhatsApp and Mumsnet.

I don't think I'm very interesting tbh - having an online persona via Instagram seems like a lot of hard work!

I don't particularly agree with your friend's view - there is not one way to be on SM. I think some people overshare but that's the case in real life too ime.

That’s certainly what it feels like.