To send toddlers to nursery when I don't work?

[SleepingStandingUp]

I had planned on sending DTwins to nursery when they turn 3, for half days at DSs school. The opportunity has come up to send them for 30. And possibly 32.5.

If I send for 30 it's just the free hours, plus packed lunch. They'll finish 30 minutes before DBro.
If I send for 32.5 they'll all finish together but it will cost me £120 a TERM for both kids to cover the extra half an hour a day.

But here's the catch. I don't work. We qualify for the 30 hours as I'm a carer for DS who's at school. I could use the time to study and do more housework etc. But I wouldn't look for work.

Is it wrong to send them? I feel ike they'll be easier to take out as they get older so will I regret having no free time together? But otoh I'm conscious their speech is behind and they'll be nurserying with kids who've been in since 2 and kids who are in full time

If I worked it would be different but I'd use the vtiek for my OU degree primarily

Of course it isn't wrong! I'd also wait around for 30 minutes rather than pay the extra £120

Definitely send them, i wouldn't pay though, get the free hours. If you are a carer for your older DS then you deserve a rest. Even if you weren't to would still deserve a rest. plus studying is good for your brain as well.

If the twins already have a speech delay being around other kids at nursery and professional staff can only help.

I would send them too 😃

Of course it's not wrong! It'll be good for them socially and give you a bit of a break. As a carer you definitely deserve a break. But I would say that any mother of twins deserves a break.

As a mum of twins too, if you're entitled to the hours, then I'd use them. (However , you don't have to use the full 30 hours though if you don't want to)

Definitely not Unreasonable, I’d do exactly the same, I’m a carer myself and would do that. If I could afford the extra I would also pay the extra to collect at the same time aswell.

Yeah we're waiting for speech therapy, typical problem that they talk to each other in Twinnese so don't need a English. I reckon kat school their lang would come on, but will the extra hours make much difference?
I've studied from 9pm onwards Al lthe way and it's killing me and also so much harder to work. So I really think a couple of days drop and library would make a huge difference. But it feels selfish and settled indulgent

I think it's usual for 3 year olds to go to nursery it's classed as preschool.i think you are worrying over nothing
.

But it feels selfish and settled indulgent

Ah stop, it is not, it'll be good for the twins and good for you to get some child free time, you will be better for them after a little respite!

If you’re entitled to the 30 free hours; and you’re not fibbing on cormcinstances to get them - as in - you’re genuinely entitled, then absolutely use them. If they thought for any reason you shouldn’t be entitled, you wouldn’t be. There’s no point in not using them if you’ve got them. Will be nice for DTwins to get out and have a routine with some friends around too! I hated having to take my DD out of nursery while on maternity. I cannot wait for her to go back, her 30 free hours should start in January!

But it feels selfish and self indulgent to send them and know that I WILL meet my friend for coffee, that I won't be trekking across town to take them to play groups and art classes, that I will use it as down time too

Re not paying, I don't drive so I'd pick them up and have to entertain them outside for 30 minutes every day

Ds has been at nursery for a year, I use it as down time and when my twins are old enough, they'll be going too. It's good for them and for you. You deserve you time

But if you don't both "work" you only get 15 hours. I get the 30 because I get Carers but I get Carers for the kid who's in school full time so I'm not actually caring for him during those hours.

That doesn't affect my eligibility just my guilt

Nursery will do wonders for their speech, DD was referred to SALT just before covid, she had her assessment and then didn't have any further appointments for 9 months (and even then it was over teams, almost 2 years had passed until she was seen face to face again). If it hadn't been for nursery I don't know where we would be now.
Also if you're planning on sending them to that school anyway that's another plus - at DD school over 90% of her reception class had been in the nursery.

Would you consider putting them in each for only 4 days but with different days off?
That way you get 3 days to yourself, but they both get a day 1-1 with you?

Can't see any problem with this, most 3 and 4 year olds are doing at least 15 hrs a week. What about them doing 4 and a half days and each one gets a half day (or even a full day) one to one with you?

I do childcare for my DD. My eldest GC used to do an after school club. It meant hanging around for 30 minutes. That was with play equipment in the yard and shelter. It was still dismal in bad weather. I'd pay the extra and have them come out at the same time. It also means that one could go In if the other one has an appointment/is ill etc. Children over three get so much out of Nursery, it's better to send them than not.

Ah right fair enough I didn't realise, but you have nothing to feel guilty about.

@SleepingStandingUp
You are entitled to the hours
Do use them
I'm entitled to the NHS despite earning money to go private. I'm still going to use nhs if I can.
I'm also entitled to street lights and bins being emptied cos of council tax. Take the break and don't worry.
Hope the twins enjoy it xxx

Juggling the hours as pp suggested is a good idea maybe you could do that

Do you have to use the whole 30 hours? My dd got the 30 hours but I initially sent her 3 days, then 4 days the last two terms before she started Reception.
I also wasn't working while she was at school.

Can the nursery offer flexibility and remain within the free 30 hours? Instead of 3 hours 5 days a week, offer the extra 30 minutes 4 days a week?

You are not being selfish and indulgent at all. It will be good for them and good for you too.

Yeah I'm thinking of seeing if there's a compromise whereby they stay the extra half hour a couple of days and finish half day a couple of of days but it's new to school to offer 30 and not sure how flexible they'll be

Do it. Forget guilt. It's a pointless emotion.