Deborah James's Funeral - annoyed with the press ...

[ImJustMadAboutSaffron]

... for not keeping this as a family funeral and writing rubbish like "Lorraine Kelly leads the stars" (that phrase does my absolute head in), photo opportunities of Tom Fletcher and his wife, Gaby Roslin and others. Not that I am blaming these "celebs", rather the press. I also saw her referred to as "the star" in the same way that the horrid Daily Mail write about Kerry Katona and such like - "However, the star revealed in early May she had stopped active treatment and was receiving end of life care at her parents’ home in Woking."

Daily Mail? They also said about the Trump daughter (forget her name) who was attending her Mother's funeral that she had 'a tight fitting dress' on. It's trash.

I haven't seen that but that's the same kind of thing. The articles I saw were from the Mirror. Incredibly bad taste.

It’s just tabloid language. Ridiculous. The Times showed the same photos but just wrote up the facts. Read a better newspaper OP.

The Mail is the most peculiar ragbag of pages of absolute raging shite with the odd moment of actual proper journalism in there just to confuse me.

And oh yes, that ‘leads the stars’ phrase. Aaaaaaaargh.

I haven’t clicked on the funeral stories anywhere.

And YABU to read the DM.

I didn't read it in the DM. I am not a DM reader or a tabloid reader generally but when doing a search, things pop up and I looked at it. It doesn't mean I am a tabloid reader or have to explain anything. The post is about the disrespect in the press in general rather than my "choice" of newspaper.

This gets said so often on here, but it’s a very one-dimensional way of looking at things. I read it to see how the Mail’s political landscape is looking. I look at the Express, Mirror, Guardian, Times and Telegraph online for the same reason. I even look at the Morning Star occasionally.

What are other people reading? Who is spinning what? What are the wedge issues in politics?

I manage not to click on ‘leads the stars’ and funeral stories if I don’t want to. But anyone interested in politics would be foolish not to know what’s in the Mail, Britain’s most read paper (sadly).

I do find funeral stories with headlines about ‘the stars’ really tawdry in all cases, and that’s on the editors and sun-editors.

I read about it and thought it was a private funeral so why were there pictures everywhere? Her children dealt with it very well.

She courted 'fame'and would have loved all the press. Originally I thought she was fab but at the latter stages when she was only given weeks / days she was still doing it and honestly I found that really sad for her family, especially her children about to lose their mum, that time would have been precious family time for.me. As such, you court fame your loved ones are subjected to it.

She did the odd interview from her family home and went to some events with her family in the last few weeks. In the months before that she was mostly in hospital or at home.

She didn’t court fame, she campaigned for better diagnosis and treatment of bowel cancer. The whole point was hoping to stop others going through what she and her family did.

Her husband is now giving detailed interviews about her final hours etc, I really think enough is enough now.

I saw that yesterday, and it was really too much IMO. I hope we don't get the same level of detail about Olivia Newton-John. It just isn't fair.

You don't like this because you find death and disease unacceptable. Deborah James and her family have faced this in their own way and that's fine by me

There will have been a media plan for the way this event was managed, and the press will have been given access to certain parts.

Though I am fed up of being barraged with death and illness on a daily basis, that's not what I said in my OP (presuming you're talking to me). I objected to the way it was made about the people attending the funeral, Lorraine Kelly "leading the stars" - barf - and making it a celebrity circus.

The ‘celebrity circus’ is to raise awareness so that in future fewer people will face what Deborah James and her family had to face.

Fair enough you don't like a particular journalistic style. However the bereaved family will probably not give a stuff. My DB was killed in a horrible accident and it made it into the Scottish press. It didn't change the end result. Funerals and the reporting thereof are nothing in the grand scheme of things. I live with my grief every day and that's 28 years and counting

“Not fair” to whom? I’ve just gone and read that interview, out of curiosity, and it seems completely respectful to me, and full of love.

Deborah James wanted to raise awareness of bowel cancer and she did an amazing job in life of doing so. Her husband is entitled to carry on what she started if it helps him and her family.

Tabloid language of funeral reporting aside, I don’t see an issue with this.

She was a good enough ambassador on her own without the fame hungry Lorraine Kelly getting in on the act. That is what irritates me.

I get where you’re coming from @ImJustMadAboutSaffron but if just one person who does like Lorraine Kelly goes to the GP about some symptoms they are having and it is caught early then does it matter whether it came directly from Deborah James or from the aftermath of her death?
Disclaimer: I can’t abide LK, or any daytime sleb stuff, so I just don’t watch it.

I hope so too. So far, the media havn't really found much about her except good things and "neutral" things like a flat she owned in London when she first started out and it's been pretty surprising how little media attention she's been given after the first announcements. She never "played up" for the media and kept herself to herself as much as possible, just "used" the media occasionally like when she wanted to raise awareness to cancer and her cancer centre! Besides the initial announcement, very little coming out from her immediate family and I wouldn't be surprised if the next we hear from them is that they've had their private family funeral (she's expected to be buried on her ranch).

Go fuck yourself.

In her final weeks and days, she was working, campaigning to raise money for cancer charities, working with Tesco and Aldi to get bowel cancer symptoms printed on loo roll, staying true to her word to share her story - no matter how painful when the light was dimming - to open up and talk about the end that was coming with bravery and to shine a light, not just vanishing off a cliff when the worst was coming. No one fucking talks about dying and death in our insta culture of shiny glittery fake things, but she did.

She didn't want her children seeing her 24/7 when she lost her use of her arms and legs, but she still made videos and photos and memories captured on film forever, as well as hugely significant charitable work, while she had moments of lucidity and some joy left to grab.

You should be deeply ashamed of yourself in passing bitchy judgement of what you would have done 'in her shoes'.

What a shame Dame Deborah James died wrong.

I'm sure it would have been soo much better for her children to have lost their mother in a way that is acceptable to others.

From Hunter S Thompson
Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming "Wow! What a Ride!

I completely agree, I’m sure she and her family were completely aware and in agreement with the press access - if they weren’t it would’ve been a private funeral.

Since she made it her life’s work to campaign about her illness this would all have been agreed in advance, the press won’t have rocked up unannounced.

So don’t read it, it’s his choice to give the interview and given her campaign to raise awareness I’m sure this kind of interview was part of the plan.

If it opens the conversation for other families going through similar situations and helps them know others have faced similar I see nothing wrong with it, it’s his grief and his wife, he can deal with it in his own way and do as he pleases.